I married DH when I was 26 and he was 34, I worked as a secretary and he was an accountant in a big firm. Because I had my own account he paid money into it rather than having a joint account – I quite liked this as he has always been generous and bought me gifts – jewellery, perfume lingerie etc. I gave up work and had a DS and DD. DH now runs his own accountancy firm – he has always been good with money and we live well with a nice house and a villa in Spain and he has a lot of investments! I am now 48, he’s 56 – DD is at Uni and DS is a trainee accountant! When the kids were small sometimes I would need more money for them and have to ask him for it which was a pain but normally OK once I had explained why I needed the money. At other times, for example, if I wanted to spend £150 on a new pair of fashionable boots I would get the money instantly, and he thought nothing of spending £5000 on my breast enlargement but on another occasion he might question why I needed money for petrol if my account was a bit short because I had been ferrying the kids here, there and everywhere as they were members of lots of clubs when they were younger. DH has always let me get on with things in the house and garden which he likes to look nice and he likes me to look nice too – he expects me to dress well, with my hair and make-up nicely done – he says he hates it if I “look a mess” - fortunately I like clothes and fashion so it is no big problem and he always compliments me on how nice I look: I posted before that I go to a hair and beauty salon and he pays direct as he does the salon owner's accounts (we live near a small market town and one of his justifications for insisting I make an effort with my appearance is that as everyone knows that I am his wife when I am shopping locally or working in the library a couple of afternoons a week I am “representing” his accountancy company). As I get older (with the children not beginning around so much and us being on our own more) I am beginning to realise that maybe he is a bit controlling, or is he? When I was 26 he set me up with a pension which he pays into, I want for nothing, I go out with friends and to the theatre so it hard put a finger on anything in particular but when I look back I think DH has defiantly pulled the strings and done what he wants and in a way manipulated me but then again would I change it? I love DH and I am happily married - it is just that DD has put the thought into my head and now I am questioning things I used to take for granted.
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