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Handhold- telling H I want a divorce

(966 Posts)
awesmum Fri 05-Oct-18 09:12:56

Handhold please
About to tell my H I want a divorce, he's mean, controlling, gaslighting, cruel to the kids, tiring, exhausting and doesn't stop talking at me. All wrapped up in 'I want what's right for everyone; everything I do is for everyone else; your selfish; not a team player; a thief; a liar; I always put everyone else first. You breathe too loudly; you walk too heavily; when you stand like that you look fat; don't say that; no you can't; you're disrespectful; I am the man of the house; these are my beliefs and my morals.'

I could and probably will go on ...

Disfordarkchocolate Mon 18-Feb-19 12:52:30

That's for the update if just checked to see how the weekend went. You're doing so well, safer and stronger every day and more and more in control.

Mrsmummy90 Mon 18-Feb-19 13:26:21

I'm so happy that you're away from his abuse. No one deserves to live like that and you've been so strong for yourself and your children. You are an amazing woman!

Mix56 Mon 18-Feb-19 13:35:37

Can he get access into your phone ?
if so he will be reading your incoming texts ?
He will read your emails if you are logged in on your phone
He can copy all your contacts
He can even send messages in your name to people or intercept your calls....

awesmum Mon 18-Feb-19 14:02:08

@Mix56 no I have the physical phone, he just has the number, which is because it's on the same contract. Which is fine, he can keep it. He won't get my new one number.

Mix56 Mon 18-Feb-19 15:15:10

oof .

Thegoodthere Mon 18-Feb-19 16:39:16

Just read through all this, you're amazing! Are you near Kent, @awesmum?

Clutterbugsmum Mon 18-Feb-19 17:55:26

He won't get my new one number. exactly this is all his choice. So he now has to live the consequences.

Barmaid101 Mon 18-Feb-19 21:39:44

He used to lock the freezer shock
You are doing amazing!
He on the other hand is a cun....

AcrossthePond55 Mon 18-Feb-19 22:13:02

Lock the FREEZER!!!??? That's just sick.

I read your last update with such a smile. You're seeing it, aren't you? Really, really seeing your freedom. It's a wonderful feeling, isn't it?

ToeDust Mon 18-Feb-19 22:52:10

Ah OP, can I just say I think you're fucking awesome smile I've just read this thread and you really have been doing brilliantly, good luck for the future 👊

(PS Your ex is a massive cockwomble, may the heavens open up and rain shit on him grin )

ThinkOfAWittyNameLater Tue 19-Feb-19 14:45:15

@ToeDust your eloquence speaks to my soul grin

Wallywobbles Tue 19-Feb-19 20:21:08

2 houses is a pretty good parenting app. Don't remember having to put in a number. Pretty much removed all need for conversation.

Wallywobbles Tue 19-Feb-19 20:24:14

Have you contacted the operator and asked them if they can do anything to help?

ToeDust Tue 19-Feb-19 21:16:55

ThinkOfAWittyNameLater Why thank you, I'm very eloquent me, one of my many talents winkgrin

awesmum Tue 19-Feb-19 21:20:06

@Thegoodthere a couple of hours away. Why's that? 

@Barmaid101 yes he really is a cun....

@AcrossthePond55 yes I am, I am seeing it and can nearly touch it! Nearly there!

@ToeDust I couldn't put it better myself!

@Wallywobbles yes I have been in contact - he owns the number as he's the lead on the contract, and they have to protect his data, despite the fact I can prove that I bought the number over to the account and I know the passwords/ numbers/ bank details/ etc etc. I even asked if I got a court order would they release it, the answer 'No'.
Thank you for the app suggestion. I may try that out.

Thegoodthere Tue 19-Feb-19 23:45:06

Because I wanted to come and give you a massive hug (and also stand up to this bellend for you)! Wish I'd seen this thread months ago x

Weenurse Wed 20-Feb-19 08:19:21

The end is in sight. You have come a long way. Well done

HazelBite Sun 24-Feb-19 23:17:02

Keep on keeping on you're doing fantastic Awes!!

Ella2103 Mon 25-Feb-19 00:35:41

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Weejo39 Mon 25-Feb-19 06:42:05

Ella, what are you on about?

gambaspilpil Mon 25-Feb-19 07:27:41

Weejo39 ignore Ella. She was obviously bored last night and trawled MN and added this comment to a number of threads. I have reported them

Ragnarhairybreetches Mon 25-Feb-19 07:27:48

Ella has spent a happy evening writing that on multiple posts. I think she wants a job with MN

Ragnarhairybreetches Mon 25-Feb-19 07:29:17

Me too Gamba!

Goldmandra Mon 25-Feb-19 14:51:16

OP, I've just sat and read through your whole thread and I'm in awe of you!

I know you have a tough road ahead because of this narcissistic twunt but you have done an amazing job up until now and you will win in the end because your LO will always know she is safe with you.

Your children are awesome and you are a phenomenal mother. Please, please get on the Freedom programme when you have the head-space to help you with healthy future relationships.

In the meantime, keep doing what you're doing flowers

BeUpStanding Mon 25-Feb-19 17:02:58

His abuse was appalling. It's fantastic to hear how you are relishing your freedom!

Can't remember if it's been suggested already but have you considered doing the freedom programme to heal from the abuse? I've not done it myself, but I know several women who have and they can't recommend it enough...

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