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is internet flirting cheating?

(91 Posts)
spogs Fri 08-Jun-07 12:53:00

I have just found out my partner has been flirting on the internet he claims it is harmless and i have nothing to worry about and soes not see my problem with it .....help me understand it........if you can as i cannot

zizou Fri 08-Jun-07 12:54:29

no it is definitely not ok!

zizou Fri 08-Jun-07 12:54:55

I mean it is not ok; it IS cheating.

MamaG Fri 08-Jun-07 12:55:10

No. Its out of order and disrespectful to you.

MamaG Fri 08-Jun-07 12:55:31

I mean No, its not ok

(giggles with zizou)

Speccy Fri 08-Jun-07 12:56:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

motherinferior Fri 08-Jun-07 12:58:01

Well, it depends what the 'flirting' is, I reckon. If he's exchanging explicit sexual messages on a site specifically for that purpose that's different IMO from a flirtatious post, or email remark, or RL remark. Unless you count all flirtation as cheating, which I don't.

Megglevache Fri 08-Jun-07 12:58:14

Message withdrawn

smudgermumof3 Fri 08-Jun-07 13:02:22

hi all , soz to butt in in im new. my ex husband used to flirt in line i used to get really angry with it but sort of put up with it i spose but he used to go out and meet the women after a certain amount of time chatting to them, it may start of harmless but it can develop i wouldnt want to tar everyone with the same brush as my ex he was always having affairs from the moment we got together only came out when we split up, which was better for me cos i divorced him quicker and took him for everything thing he had which is satifaction in itself oh and the white gloss paint on all his clothes his car and his beloved computer and golf clubs lol enough about me hope to chat to you all soon xxxx

Anniegetyourgun Fri 08-Jun-07 13:02:41

It depends. There's flirting and flirting. Saying "hello gorgeous" to a number of people you only know through their internet personas is nothing. Getting to know them one-on-one and sending flirtatious personal messages is something very like cheating. Certainly if it makes you feel uncomfortable he shouldn't do it.

I've been internet flirting for about the last year with dozens of people I play online games with, and it can be tremendous, harmless fun, but I wouldn't do it if I hadn't already made it clear that our marriage is effectively over. For one thing it's amazing how easy it is to be lured into really caring for someone you haven't even met. I've been there and have the scars on my soul to prove it. Fantasy people are so much more attractive than real live ones...

CountessDracula Fri 08-Jun-07 13:02:58

IMO if he is doing something that he is hiding from you that is cheating

mytwopenceworth Fri 08-Jun-07 13:05:30

anything that you wouldn't do with your partner sat next to you is cheating imo.

so unless he is happy to sit with you at the computer next time, his mind is cheating!!

Speccy Fri 08-Jun-07 13:07:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

motherinferior Fri 08-Jun-07 13:09:14

Good god, do none of you ever exchange a flirtatious glance with a fetching passer-by?

I have no idea what this bloke's been doing, though I suspect it is rather explicit. But I can't say that I would like every single glance/urge/remark I make to be known to my partner!

nattyp Fri 08-Jun-07 13:09:26

agyg has made a really good point, even if you never meet the person, youve made a connection sometimes with that unknown person shared personal thoughts and feelings and been strangely intimate i reckon its cheating but i also know someone who lets her partner do it because she says they dont meet...each to their own

MamaG Fri 08-Jun-07 13:16:13

MI, I agree with you, but as a divorce lawyer I see a lot of adultery stemming from flirting on the net

motherinferior Fri 08-Jun-07 13:20:46

I do agree, MamaG (didn't know you were a divorce lawyer).

nomdeplume Fri 08-Jun-07 13:22:29

mamaG I didn't know you were a solicitor either

[mamaG hiding light under a bushel emoticon req]

ahundredtimes Fri 08-Jun-07 13:23:05

Hmm. I thought MamaG's line about it being 'disrespectful' to you is about right.
Not officially cheating, but definitely unecessary imo. I wouldn't like it at all.

Men can fool themselves that things ARE separate though, he may not be being duplicitous, he may just need you to point out to him why you don't like it.

spogs Fri 08-Jun-07 13:29:44

he goes on face party has anyone heard of it i have visited site and is crazy and far fom innocent

spogs Fri 08-Jun-07 13:30:26

he says he needs is to escape flirt and be made to feel good

Speccy Fri 08-Jun-07 13:31:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

spogs Fri 08-Jun-07 13:31:53

so i am best to walk away as he will never stop i have 2 kids one of which is new born such a hard decision to make

ahundredtimes Fri 08-Jun-07 13:31:57

ooh sprogs. That's not very kind is it? Have you told him how it makes you feel?

ahundredtimes Fri 08-Jun-07 13:32:38

x post - I mean not very kind of your dh to say that, not of you to walk away.

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