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(20 Posts)
Ohwtfhappened Sat 11-Aug-18 22:10:08

Where / who do you offload too when you have taken a serious offload from a friend and you need to debrief too?

LizzieSiddal Sat 11-Aug-18 22:20:02

My Dh.

He does it to me too. It’s good to get things off your chest.

Ohwtfhappened Sat 11-Aug-18 22:22:16

No DH or even DP I'm afraid

LuluBellaBlue Sat 11-Aug-18 22:23:59

I have a good scream in the car grin

Ohwtfhappened Sat 11-Aug-18 22:27:36

Lulu that sounds good but no car either right now 😖

LizzieSiddal Sat 11-Aug-18 22:28:40

I’ve just thought of a fab idea.

You could off load on here! smile

LizzieSiddal Sat 11-Aug-18 22:29:45

I don’t mean on this thread, if it’s not appropriate. But if you started athread in Chat or Relationshios and just said “I need to offload this, ....” I’m sure people will listen.

Ohwtfhappened Sat 11-Aug-18 22:43:22

Lizzie your probably right and here will do as as another thread not what I need.

I have just taken a call from a colleague who I would count as a good friend who is in bits as a friend of his sons has just completed suicide. I don't know the person, but I do know the son.
My colleague/Friend called me to offload for whatever reasons they felt they needed to, because I know their soon and his MH issues and the person in question saves their son last year, because I am a listening ear and I will always be there for a friend, just coz they needed to talk, because I could agree that if they needed to take a works vehicle to collect their son from a festival as he is not here when his friend has done this, any and all or none of those reasons.

Ohwtfhappened Sat 11-Aug-18 22:44:25

God typos aplenty but I hope you get what I am trying to say

IDismyname Sat 11-Aug-18 22:48:42

Could you call the Samaritans?

another20 Sat 11-Aug-18 22:49:43

You must be in a state of shock. Doesn’t get much worse than this. Take care of yourself xxx

AnnieAnoniMoose Sat 11-Aug-18 22:57:51

I’m very sorry to hear that, it’s so sad.

When one of my Godsons was 11 his best friend took his own life. The boys spent loads of time together, the boy had a nice family, siblings, doing well at school - but chilled about it, no one had any idea why. It’s beyond comprehension.

My thoughts are with the lads family & friends and I hope your friends DS is ok.

Ohwtfhappened Sat 11-Aug-18 22:59:06

Thank you, my eldest dc is the same age, it was a shock to take the call from a friend in bits just wanting to offload and have support, which I was and able to give, I feel bad in a way for now being needy myself as I am nothing to do with the poor lad that felt that he had no other option.
I am glad that my friend could call me and offload to me and I was/am able to offer support but it is a shock and I feel and fear for the shockwaves that my friends family will go through and hope I can be strong enough to support them

Ohwtfhappened Sat 11-Aug-18 23:00:47

My fiends ds will be in denial, it's his way, but it will hit him and I just hope he will accept enough support when it does

LizzieSiddal Sat 11-Aug-18 23:16:37

Oh gosh what awful news. You are indeed a good friend or your colegue wouldn’t have felt able to offload so much. But you must be in shock yourself, and very concerned about all the people involved and their families. No wonder you need to offload.

The coming few weeks, months and even years will be hard for all. My Dd lost her best friend at 17, as she was in a car accident. It was awful watching DD go through such grief and we were very concerned about her. I know it’s a cliche but time is the only healer. Dd is doing well now with support of her school, friends and family (and Drs and counsellors) but we have come out the other side.

It may be worth pointing your friend in the direction of support services, for teens who’ve suffered bereavement, in your area. Your Drs surgery can usually signpost you.

Ohwtfhappened Sat 11-Aug-18 23:29:23

The signposting we are very lucky in that respect, our workplace is very mental health aware with a mental health first aider and links in place with support groups and associations.
There is more at play with l my colleague is also facing other issues at the same time, I am so glad we have fostered an open approach of its good to talk within the work place so that colleagues can reach out to each other and we have links with support networks in place.
I will be advocating that they contact the external support agencies we have connections with going forward.
It has been good to share with you all as it has helped me see through the crisis and understand how I can help and support
Thank you all

Ohwtfhappened Mon 13-Aug-18 20:40:55

Thank you all for listening, it has gotten worse.
Another young person from the same social group did the same a day later.
It makes me despair at the support available for our young people.
I am grateful I found out whilst I was at work today so we had the support that work offers, but when our support worker has a dc that is also affected by the events it's a two way support situation.
Mostly I'm angry with society and that these young people think this is the answer. I'm get my anger is my way of dealing with this, but hell two young people in my small community have taken there own lives in 2 days!
So many 'break the stigma' and 'it's ok not to be ok' Facebook posts now out there, but where was the support earlier?

LizzieSiddal Mon 13-Aug-18 21:06:25

Oh my goodness that’s just awful. You are right young people need much more support. Please look after yourself too.x

Ohwtfhappened Mon 13-Aug-18 21:28:36

Thank you, it just feels so real, these are young people that although I do not not directly, I know their friends, my colleagues son worked with us for a while, my ex's daughter posted on Facebook about these young men and their outcome as she was friends with one of them.
It feels so close, my own dc are so close in age to them

AnnieAnoniMoose Tue 14-Aug-18 00:42:56

HUG your dc tight and remind them there are other ways, remind them to tell their friends there are other ways & for them to tell their other’s really all you can do. Empower them to stop the suicide promotion social media, to confront it and to be there for their friends etc.

It’s very, very scary.

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