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Non stop bickering

(9 Posts)
Netflixandchilli Sat 11-Aug-18 21:42:31

I'm finding my relationship such hard work this weekend. Deep depression, constantly low level arguing, husband freaking out about things like where we ate lunch and dog weeing upstairs. Felt so numb and low I spent the afternoon in bed. I just feel joyless. Leaving isn't an option I want but I don't know how to make it better. We both struggle with depression and anxiety. Everything feels hard and I'm scared of fucking up my kids. I feel like they see a lot of tension and not much joyful affection between us. I don't really know what I'm asking. I feel lonely and miserable.

beltanelove Sat 11-Aug-18 21:47:19

I could have written this today op. Watching with interest. No words of advice sorry just letting you know I’m experiencing the same

Wherearewe Sat 11-Aug-18 22:31:13

Hi OP, I feel you. I just posted a thread with similar sentiments. Hope you’re ok. I don’t want to leave either but worry about the effect on DC.

Thinkingofausername1 Sat 11-Aug-18 22:35:16

In a similar position. I feel so down at the moment Because of constant arguing and him talking to me like shit all the time.
He even caused an argument on the way to a hospital appointment and I wish I had asked a friend to take me now. I don't have any advice but here to listen thanks

Netflixandchilli Sat 11-Aug-18 23:03:53

He's stomped off to bed after yet another minor flare up. So minor but just constant resentment. It's easier when he's working. We get on better. He just irritates me when he's here and I get depressed. I feel my life has shrunk. Or maybe I'm just tired? I don't know anymore. Right bed. Maybe things better tomorrow. Night xx

Wherearewe Sun 12-Aug-18 10:08:06

How are things this morning OP? Much of what you say rings true for me. We are better in our own space, but then we also want to spend time together (but then the inevitable bickering starts). Not sure how to break the cycle.

Suziesoo Sun 12-Aug-18 11:37:41

Same here. Is he off work for the 6 week holidays? Mine is. I dread them every year. Half way there.

AttilaTheMeerkat Sun 12-Aug-18 12:07:01

Your kids are already being emotionally harmed here by seeing all this. What do you want to teach your children about relationships and what are they learning here from the two of you?. Something here has to change (and it won't be him) and are you conflating depression with abuse here?.

Is the root cause of your depression and anxiety he and his abuses of you?. Are you in an abusive relationship; his reactions seem totally disproportionate here.

Netflixandchilli Sun 12-Aug-18 22:37:22

I don't know what to say, there is a lot of shouting and flying off handle. Not abuse.

Another crap day. Felt floored by depression. Slept most of the afternoon. I don't feel happy with him no. But I have my own issues and a part to play in the relationship I'm sure.

I don't want to walk out of our marriage. It's not something that I feel able or willing to do for possibly quite selfish reasons. But I agree something has to change. We need to look at going back to counselling which we did for a while but gave up when we moved house.

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