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Splitting assets with children involved- conflicting advice

(10 Posts)
Unicornonmypants Sat 11-Aug-18 15:41:58

Hi. I am in the process of divorce. Have two children 3 and 5 who live with me full time. They stay with Daddy once a fortnight. Husband wants 50% of the house equity. Solicitor told me to go to mediation. Husband refuses to go and mediator told me that a financial adviser can advise on the % split. Financial adviser that I saw right at the start said that it would be decided with legal advice!
Anyone already been through this and know how to get to a figure? The divorce is no longer amicable.
Thanks in advance

YeTalkShiteHen Sat 11-Aug-18 15:42:59

I think you need to go back to your solicitor, and get them to work it out.

Namechangeforthiscancershit Sat 11-Aug-18 15:45:50

Generally a financial adviser would be to work out the pension split, not the house. Even then, it’s only once the lawyers have agreed on who’s having what %- the adviser just works out how to make that happen.
So weird advice from your solicitor. He/she needs to sort this!

MrsBertBibby Sat 11-Aug-18 15:48:39

Financial advisers don't advise on divorce settlements! Your mediator sounds confused.

Your solicitor advises on division. The mediator doesn't advise, they facilitate discussion.

If your ex won't mediate, then realistically you are looking at court. But if you are in the house, there's possibly no rush, unless you need maintenance over and above CMS maintenance.

You need to talk to the solicitor again, and if s/he isn't a bit more clear, maybe try another.

YeTalkShiteHen Sat 11-Aug-18 16:35:34

MrsBertBibby I was hoping you’d find this thread! I almost tagged you but didn’t want to seem like I was summoning you!

Unicornonmypants Sun 12-Aug-18 00:40:03

Thanks for your input. I'm seeing the solicitor again this week.

HugeAckmansWife Sun 12-Aug-18 07:15:06

If the kids are predominantly with you then it's likely you could get a split more like 70/30 but it will depend on lots of factors like earning capacity, pensions, can he buy you out or are you selling the house etc. If he won't mediate then it is likely to end at court but don't panic about that.. Its not as scary as it sounds and part of the process is a dispute resolution - sort of mediation with a judge nudging you toward a settlement. Don't accept anything your ex tells you as legal 'fact', use your solicitor and get reading online also.. There are some v good sites with advice.

RainySeptember Sun 12-Aug-18 08:17:59

It is impossible for anyone here to say whether a 50/50 split is fair or not as it will depend on so many factors - other assets, your income potential and his etc.

If he is refusing mediation then it can be done as a round table discussion between both of you and your solicitors, or through court.

Both options more expensive of course, but mediation is not recommended anyway if your ex is abusive or intimidating.

Unicornonmypants Sun 12-Aug-18 12:26:54

HugeAckmansWife thank you, I have made cursory searches but seem to come up with "its a 50/50 split unless there are children involved". Can you suggest any particular sites?

Unicornonmypants Sun 12-Aug-18 12:29:34

RainySeptember that is a great suggestion. He always has his nice guy face on in public so what he says there will be more likely to go ahead. He quite happily spouts completely different things to when we are in private.
Mediation is definitely not right for us.

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