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To be pissed off even though I agreed to this?

(4 Posts)
Crunchymum Sat 11-Aug-18 12:52:54

Trying to be vague and concise.

DP and I cannot have a family holiday this year for various reasons (not money ironically) We did look at alternatives such as a few days away just us or him taking the older kids to visit family but I decided this couldn't happen.

DP broached me about him having a 5 day break in Spain with his brother. It would be cheap, cheerful and low key. Given he'd offered me several alternatives and even the option for me to go away for by myself I agreed. We've a had a tough year and I'm the one who ultimately doesn't want to go away [don't want to drip feed but main reason is medical as we have a tube fed baby]

So now it's time to book and instead of just booking, there are numerous phone calls "shall we go here or there, what date, what airport" and the parameters have changed a bit. Will be a week now and maybe a 4 hour flight as opposed to a 2 hour flight.

I just don't know if I'm right to feel pissed off?

I didn't want a holiday this year, I had first refusal but I feel resentful.

Talk some sense into me please.

flapjackfairy Sat 11-Aug-18 13:00:12

I can see both sides of this tbh. You do not want to go so it is a good compromise for DH to go alone. Do you worry about him being too far away if your baby has a crisis ? Would you not consider a break in this country as a family ? Esp in lovely weather. I have 2 tube fed kiddies and it isn't that hard to go away if you choose somewhere near a major hospital and are able to retreat home at the first sign of trouble
You can order your medical supplies to be delivered to your holiday destination to save hassle. Just a thought .
However if you really don't want to go away then just smile sweetly ,agree a definite length of hols and where you are happy distance wise and tell DH to stick to that .

Takfujimoto Sat 11-Aug-18 13:15:20

YANBU I imagine it feels like since you've said yes he's completely disregarded you and the home situation and not considered how his holiday will affect you at all.
You should give him some conditions like flight time incase he needs to fly back etc.

DC3 was Tube fed for over a year and I was the only one signed off to pass/insert, DH refused and it meant I was literally stuck with DC and had to be no less than an hour away at a time, I felt incredibly resentful when he would go off to activities and events with or without the children, so I can understand why you feel like this.

Is your reluctance due to not trusting him with the DC's needs or something else?

Make sure you do get the equivalent time back at some point.thanks

Paddley Sat 11-Aug-18 13:16:34

I'd feel exactly the same OP, it's one thing making a selfless gesture, it's something else altogether when instead of really appreciating the offer, they move the goalposts.

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