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How do you deal with a woman who is outrageously flirting with your fiancé?

(42 Posts)
Mudpet Sat 11-Aug-18 05:32:09

My partner is very good looking and gets a lot of attention but luckily I know he loves me and our 6 month old. The man he is working for has an apparently beautiful girlfriend (I haven’t met, yet) that is getting more and more brazen with him. She pole-danced on the scaffolding next to where he was working for crying out loud. I don’t know how to tell her to back off without looking like an idiot. He’s not interested, but the fact she knows about me and the baby and continues to chase him is so disrespectful I just want her to know that I’m not some vague presence to be ignored. She loved telling my fiancé that her current partner’s ex-wife was ‘placid’.

ploppymoodypants Sat 11-Aug-18 05:43:48

You don’t, you get your fiancé to deal with it. She wouldn’t keep doing it unless she had an interested audience. He needs to put boundaries in place himself. Or are you going to follow him around forever and do that for him?

Sorry to be harsh, and yes she is disrespectful, but only he can stop it .

NameChange30 Sat 11-Aug-18 05:47:57

You don’t. He does. Why do you even know in this amount of detail what she is saying and doing? Is he telling you? Is he enjoying making you jealous or something? Fair enough for him to tell you she is flirting inappropriately but no need to tell you all the awful details.

SallyVating Sat 11-Aug-18 05:49:02

Smack her in the jaw

Mudpet Sat 11-Aug-18 05:50:02

Brilliant Ploppy, thanks for the slap, totally needed and helpful. I still want to kick her butt though.

AnoukSpirit Sat 11-Aug-18 06:16:02

Why do you even know in this amount of detail what she is saying and doing? Is he telling you? Is he enjoying making you jealous or something?

This.

Bit dubious that she "pole danced" on some scaffolding.

Mudpet Sat 11-Aug-18 06:22:32

It's weird to think a guy can be too honest.

loveisland Sat 11-Aug-18 06:31:23

She sounds like an attention seeker that's desperate for an attention, I think that's actually a turn off for most men, hence how fiancé came home telling you, mocking her not admiring.

If your fiancé does "go there" you have just saved yourself a lot of unhappy years in a marriage

InfiniteSheldon Sat 11-Aug-18 06:48:59

Say "sweetie you're embarrassing yourself stop throwing yourself at him". "Back off you Muppet he's not interested". To fiance "I think * wants some attention"

rubyjude Sat 11-Aug-18 06:55:34

You don't have a flirty woman problem, you have a fiance problem. He sorts it out, it's not for you to do x

Monty27 Sat 11-Aug-18 06:57:06

You haven't met her yet? So you can't say anything surely.
Did you ever read the book 'my imaginary girlfriend'?
Anyway I cba'd to listen to that crap from some bloke. I'd tell him to stfu or go get.
How old are you?

stevesmithsmum Sat 11-Aug-18 07:01:22

It's weird to think a guy can be too honest.

It’s weird to think a grown man can’t handle unwanted (and inappropriate) attention. It should never have got to the point it has.

Mudpet Sat 11-Aug-18 07:02:08

I've spoken to a friend who works with my partner and he said that even his work mates were surprised how brazen she was and they're not exactly gentlemen.

Lauren83 Sat 11-Aug-18 07:03:49

Are you sure the pole dancing wasn't just a joke? I don't think it's everyone's first choice to publicly pole dance in front of another man when you already have one, surely she would just flirt with him, give him the eye etc if she really was after him? I honestly can't see someone doing that by way of getting a man interested, she was fully clothed I presume? I do agree if someone was making a move on my DP I would be pissed off too

Thatsfuckingshit Sat 11-Aug-18 07:11:35

I think the friend is winding you up.

I can actually pole dance. It's never been in my bag of tricks when I am flirting with someone.

I have never ever known anyone be so brazen. especially with their partners employees.

Your fiance needs to deal with it. He can tell her straight or tell his boss her behaviour is making him uncomfortable.

Wtf is she doing on the building site? You say she is his bosses girlfriend not a colleague.

OliviaStabler Sat 11-Aug-18 07:11:38

Sounds like the type of woman who thinks she is so fabulous that she can't comprehend any man who is simply not interested so she starts to get more brazen to get his attention.

Your partner needs to deal with this, not you.

THEsonofaBITCH Sat 11-Aug-18 07:15:24

I find it funny how it seems every time something like this happens people say the man/other person must be encouraging it. I've seen it happen with absolutely no encouragement until the person found someone else who would respond - but sometimes it took weeks of polite ignoring, assume one could speed up the departure of the bunny boiler if rude but that's not in everyone's nature or ability due to work circumstances.

Mudpet Sat 11-Aug-18 07:16:39

My partner is working on the house of her partner's. She was with her partner and some of his family outside and decided to show off hanging upside down wrapped around a scaffolding pole, arms out, right next to him at the exact and only brief point he was there. He said it was embarrassing but her partner just seemed to ignore it.

Monty27 Sat 11-Aug-18 07:31:16

Oh she's just an idiot. Care not.

flumpybear Sat 11-Aug-18 07:32:25

Sounds like she's embarrassing herself! How long is your husband working there for?

Soozikinzi Sat 11-Aug-18 07:37:55

This once happened to me many moons ago when I was pregnant. A woman was flirting with my husband basically because she's Split up with her husband so wanted to makes him jealous and get him back which she did at a later date. I told my husband exactly what she was doing and also told him to have nothing to do with her and tell her what I'd said if she bothered him again. I was heavily pregnant at the time . It didn't happen again. I imagine she can't stand me but hey ho

treaclesoda Sat 11-Aug-18 07:42:18

People like this are best dealt with by laughing at them. Getting angry is playing into her hands.

Mudpet Sat 11-Aug-18 08:20:20

I don’t know how long he’s working there, a couple of months, but it gets worse because she was bragging about how she’s just bought an expensive townhouse, (separately from her partner) and that it needs some work. She then told him that her partner had banned her from getting him to work for her. Bleurrgh! My partner has no intention of going anywhere near her by the way. I’d run like the wind if he did.

Thatsfuckingshit Sat 11-Aug-18 08:26:00

She was with her partner and some of his family outside and decided to show off hanging upside down wrapped around a scaffolding pole, arms out, right next to him at the exact and only brief point he was there.

Right so that's not poor dancing. That sounds like a child on the monkey bars.

Her partner owns a building firm but has no sense of health and safety and let's people use the scaffolding like monkey bars?

If she is making him uncomfortable, then he needs to tell her to back off.

It actually sounds like she may have some mental health issues. Rather than flirting.

Bekabeech Sat 11-Aug-18 08:27:07

If you partner is good at his job and is a trades man then he just has to tell either his boss or the home owner that he can't work there if she continues (to harass him). They won't want to slow the work down/have to get another contractor to finish the job.

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