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naming a child after a relative...

(20 Posts)
PregnantGrrrl Fri 01-Jun-07 10:56:41

I found out yesterday that we're having a boy, and i'd really like to name him after my middle brother (his name is Thomas, i'd like to call the baby Tom) DP likes the name too, but he thinks we should avoid it incase my other 2 brothers are upset- especially the youngest who is 10.

Has anyone had family tantrums because of naming a baby after one relative, but not the other?

I don't see it being an issue, but i also don't want to risk hurt my little brothers feelings.

munz Fri 01-Jun-07 10:58:18

we have chosen a family name for the middle name - in the case of our DS and also have a girls name as a family memeber for the middle name - maybe that's an option for you? is there any other names you'd like to go first?

Idobelieveinfairies Fri 01-Jun-07 11:00:45

My sister named her second little girl after problems came of it with my other sisters. She lives in Australia and they have different popular names going on to us mainly, so my name was not popular there anyway and she said she had always like it.

Chirpygirl Fri 01-Jun-07 11:00:54

We gave our DD 2 middle names, one is my granny and DH's grandma's name and the other is his other grandma's name.
We stuck with middle names as it was easier not to offend those that 'missed out'.

There were some comments made, and some relatives conveniently 'forget' her other middle names, but as it is a middle name I don't really mind!

So, what I am trying to say is would you be able to use a middle name to placate the others? Or maybe bring it up in conversation about what names you like and check out the reactions?

Idobelieveinfairies Fri 01-Jun-07 11:01:08

Congrats on having a ickle boy!!!!xx

PregnantGrrrl Fri 01-Jun-07 11:01:19

we don't really like middle names...DS is just George (not after anyone) and i'd have liked just Tom for this baby.

i don't really like any other names at the moment either.

I know that if the youngest was sad about it, he would get over it, but i still wouldn't like to upset him.

PregnantGrrrl Fri 01-Jun-07 11:07:50

perhaps i could give him youngest brother's name as a middle name incase he was sad

It doesn't sound too bad when i say it out loud

Chirpygirl Fri 01-Jun-07 11:10:00

Middle names very rarely get used, DD's only gets used when one of the gran's writes to us as they are so proud she has their name!

I would sound him out and say what do you think of Tom as a name for the baby? and see how he reacts.

Pollyanna Fri 01-Jun-07 11:15:52

My dd3 has my sister's middle name as her first name as we liked it. My other sister didn't get offended. (and my sister whose name we used doesn't like her middle name particularly anyway!).

otherwise we have used family names as middle names.

By total coincidence ds has the same 2 names as his paternal great-grandfather. No one has ever been offended by our use of names, although I think mil would have liked us to use her name as we have used my mum's name.

Blackduck Fri 01-Jun-07 11:17:26

Personally I'd avoid it like the plague, but thats just me...

SoupDragon Fri 01-Jun-07 11:21:07

Do you want to use the name because you like it or because it belongs to your brother?

DSs both have a family middle name (luckily both grandfathers have the same name so neither was offended with DS1's name). Ds2's name didn't caues offence despite being DH's grandfather's name. For DD I managed to cover the entire In Law side of the family by simply going Welsh and then used amended versions of my grandmothers' names for her middle ones. Sorted.

FioFio Fri 01-Jun-07 11:26:00

Message withdrawn

Mellin Fri 01-Jun-07 11:28:33

Naming him Tom because you like your brother's name is different to naming him in your brother's honour IMO. Can you not say (if it comes up) that you just liked the name?

My cousin has the same name as my sister. I was about 12 when my cousin was born and to be honest it had never occured to me (until now!) that she was named after my sister. I guess it depends how hung up your family is about that sort of thing.

Idobelieveinfairies Fri 01-Jun-07 11:29:42

I have used the same names in my family ..didn't mean to but i would have a boy-meaning it to be my last and use the 2 names i live..then i would be pregnant again..and want the name for the new baby.

we have..
Callum Jake
Keenan Luke...

and then twins Luke and Jake..but the twins just looked like a luke and jake and we had really run out of boys names by then.

Idobelieveinfairies Fri 01-Jun-07 11:30:11

i meant loved.

kerala Fri 01-Jun-07 11:31:33

Go for it. Your DP may be overthinking about other people's reactions - often people are less offended about stuff like that than you may think.

We wanted to give our dd my mum's name as her middle name, partly after my mum and partly because we liked the name. After much agonising on our part we also added his mum's name to be fair. Dont think my mil would have given two hoots if her name had been left out tbh and now dd has a really long unwieldy name with 2 middle names! I have taken to dropping my mil's name although its on the birth cert.

Wish we had never bothered and just gone with what we wanted!

LucyJones Fri 01-Jun-07 11:35:29

Fio - that is certainly the case for Jewish people. My brother wanted to call his dd after my Gran but was told he couldn't because it's like replacing that person in the next generation before they have died iyswim.

PregnantGrrrl Fri 01-Jun-07 11:56:12

i like because i do like the name in itself- it's a bonus that it's after someone so lovely too.

SoupDragon Fri 01-Jun-07 12:48:10

Well, if it's because you like the name, that's fine. You can explain it to your little brother like that.

redpyjamas Tue 10-Jul-07 00:54:38

I gave my first daughter the same name as my sister. Liked the name, and knew she'd be pleased too. We live in different countries, but when we visit and I shout out the name, I either get two voices shouting "yes?" or neither (each thinking I'm calling the other)!

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