I feel like a horrible horrible person for even feeling like this but I can’t help feeling this way.
I’ve been seeing a lovely man for about 9 months. We are great together and have such a good time when we see each other. I love him and he loves me and I could see us having a future together...if it wasn’t for his 8 year old daughter.
I have tried so hard to like her but she is, without fail, rude, demanding, disobedient,bad mannered and really difficult to be around. I have a slightly older daughter myself so I’m well aware that kids aren’t perfect and can be challenging, but her bad behaviour is relentless. Every time I see her I go in really positive and try to find things to like about her but it’s like she can’t help herself but to act the way she does. She’s been very spoiled which is DP’s fault and he admits it. He also admits that he’s been very slack at disciplining her and setting good expectations for her behaviour. He has main custody of her so if I was to live with him, she would be around nearly all the time.
I honestly couldn’t be more upset with myself for disliking a child this much - she behaves this way because it’s what she’s learnt to do so although she makes poor choices it’s not really her fault. But my blood boils when I’ve been around her for more than a couple of minutes and it’s so hard to hold my tongue. I’m scared that if I moved in I’d become this awful wicked stepmother figure, getting angry with her all the time. It would be a miserable way for me to live and not fair on her either.
It’s not a case of thinking that my own child is perfect and her not measuring up - DD is a lovely girl and generally well behaved but like all kids has her moments. I really feel that if DP’s daughter behaved like an average child and was challenging some of the time that I’d be fine with it.
I know that I should probably walk away but the thought of giving up such a lovely partner and possibly future because I don’t like a child seems ridiculous and horribly intolerant. I can’t put into words how difficult she is though.
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Relationships
Ending a relationship because of their child
plusonefail · 01/07/2018 14:30
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