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Overreacting? Or would you be hurt..?

(19 Posts)
Holly6486 Sun 24-Jun-18 20:54:25

I just got off the phone with a good friend of mine and I’m feeling a bit hurt..
I was having a moan (not a major rant) about my partner because he’s been a bit of a pain recently..! Nothing that can’t be sorted out with a chat etc, I’m not talking big issues here..
So I was telling her that I’m going back to work soon and partner will be looking after our son. Partner is a little apprehensive about it as I’ve always been around but we’ve agreed I need to go back to work and to avoid childcare costs that’s the way it’s going to be. So I’m telling her about my partner being a bit nervous and she suddenly just snaps “he’s never going to change, i definitely wouldn’t have another baby with him”. ...?
(We didn’t plan our first child, but we decided after he was born that we wanted another one so our son could have a sibling to play/grow up with.) her comment really took me by surprise?! I hadn’t mentioned us having another baby, just that my partner was nervous about me going back to work..! I just thought it was a bit weird to come out with a comment like that?
I’ve been having issues with “friends” at the moment as in, they seam to have stopped talking to me for apparently no reason- I have sat and thought about why, if I could have done something wrong, but I havent.! I know I’ve done nothing wrong. So I thought perhaps I was a bit paranoid over that to why I was a bit hurt by above friends comment.?

InTheLightOfTheMoon Sun 24-Jun-18 21:05:12

Sounds like youve been moaning about him alot and she snapped.

Aprilshouldhavebeenmyname Sun 24-Jun-18 21:06:31

But you have her ammunition to judge him. So she did.

ThePeasantsAreAtTheGates Sun 24-Jun-18 23:03:38

Do you moan to all of your friends? Do you show any interest in their lives? If you don't want your friends to form an opinion on your situation and express their opinion then stop over-sharing information about your relationship. Why do you feel the need to moan to your friends about your partner? When I think about friends I have backed off from its been down to either their negativity, which is draining, or that they are a user, which is insulting and annoying.

RainySeptember Sun 24-Jun-18 23:07:35

I reckon you moan more than you think you do.

She'll be on mn in a bit saying she was on the phone for the best part of an hour and her mate spent 95% of it moaning about her dp.

Holly6486 Mon 25-Jun-18 00:15:44

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PyongyangKipperbang Mon 25-Jun-18 02:03:25

Well I reckon your second post has answered your first.

Monty27 Mon 25-Jun-18 02:32:45

You may have been giving your friend ear worm and draining her very soul.
Sorry if that's too direct.

ladyjadie Mon 25-Jun-18 03:32:23

Wow haha

dundermiflin Mon 25-Jun-18 03:37:08

Sounds more like your friends don't like your partner, can't help you and have distanced themselves as it's draining.

pallisers Mon 25-Jun-18 03:55:53

I actually find it annoying that people walk around on this earth pretending they never moan with some kind of self righteous attitude. Read the post- i wasn’t sitting there blasting or ranting, How dare you then assume that I’m a negative person who does nothing but moan? I came here for some advise not to get torn into by a bunch of “holier than thou” social media obsessed bitches thanks.

This is why your friends are distancing themselves and this particular friend snapped.

Monty27 Mon 25-Jun-18 04:02:19

Nothing worse than someone calling you to moan.
I had a long time friend that did it every single Friday night for hours.
Then she fell out with me apparently because I yawned while she was talking grin

sadandtired1 Mon 25-Jun-18 04:11:22

Your second post answers the first

2good Mon 25-Jun-18 04:16:36

I came here for some advise not to get torn into by a bunch of “holier than thou” social media obsessed bitches

This!!

Of course everyone moans from time to time and people have rants, and look for advice but if you do you have to be willing to listen to the person's opinion.

You complained to your friend and didn't like her response then complained to mn and didn't like their response.

Ginandplatonic Mon 25-Jun-18 04:32:39

Well I reckon your second post has answered the first

Yep

Aprilshouldhavebeenmyname Mon 25-Jun-18 14:42:08

Just wow!!

ThePeasantsAreAtTheGates Mon 25-Jun-18 17:53:35

I'm sorry you feel like that Holly. I can't see in the comments where anyone accused you of blasting or ranting? You mentioned you don't understand why you have been dropped by some friends and I mentioned the reasons I have backed away from certain friends, which I thought you might find helpful.

Of course we all moan at times, but are you generally a positive, happy person to be around? Those around us respond to the energy we give out. If you give out positive, upbeat energy people tend to be attracted to that, while negative, downbeat energy makes others withdraw. Of course friends will support you if you have a crisis or a good reason to moan, because they know that's not who you are most of the time.

Honestly didn't mean to anger you. I'm a problem solver, so was just looking for reasons others may be acting as you mentioned.

Newsofas Mon 25-Jun-18 18:01:23

I get fed up hearing about my friends husbands and their laziness, aggressive behaviour, sulking etc. If I offer advice it gets ignored and I’ve done years of listening to it and making the right noises. Perhaps your friend just snapped. Or perhaps she is having a bad time and have you ever thought to ask how she is?

Shumpalumpa Mon 25-Jun-18 18:13:59

OP, sorry to bring up your post on another thread, but I wonder if the problems with your partner are more serious than you say?

You said he only gives you £70pw as he lives in London and you live with your dad.

How will your finances work when you go back to work?

Perhaps your friend has serious concerns about your partner and meant well with her advice?

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