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Anyone else love being a single mum?!

(36 Posts)
Felicityx01 Sat 23-Jun-18 19:08:43

Hi all,

Thought I'd post a positive thread on here for once smile I have been single throughout my pregnancy and DS is now 6 months old and love very second of it, there has been some challenges along the way but wouldn't change it for the world, I love spending my nights in with my son watch t.v. rather than going out, I love just focusing on myself and my son! If i got into a relationship id feel it be a chore! Anyone else love being a single mum aswell? Love to hear your positive stories grin

CloudCaptain Sat 23-Jun-18 19:13:18

Good for you. smilecake

offside Sat 23-Jun-18 21:07:55

A friend of mine has a 12 month old and a DH who isn’t very present, she’s often said to him that she thinks she’d be better off as a single parent, and has encouraged him to transfer jobs to another area of the country which would mean he would only be home 1 in every 3 weekends.

I get this to an extent as when our DD was a baby, if my DH was ever away for a work, I always found it easy sticking to a routine. I found that my routine went out of the window if he was working from home.

Now, however, I have so much respect for single mum’s, it’s the hardest job in the world and I think I would find it incredibly hard.

Well done to you and all the other single mums embracing and enjoying parenthood!

offside Sat 23-Jun-18 21:08:53

And by 1 in every 3 weekends I mean he would be away permanently for 3 weeks at a time. Just realised that didn’t read very well.

Caribbeanyesplease Sat 23-Jun-18 21:09:04

I don’t mind it at all.

I’m the boss!

Nottalotta Sat 23-Jun-18 21:15:11

I'm with you OP! I'm single mum to 2 dc under 3. Before my husband left (At my request) I often said it would be easier being single as I was doing it all myself anyway and would have one less person to consider. My house is cleaner, tidied, I am happier, dc are happier. It's easier without him being a constant disappointment to me in his lack of effort towards me and the children. I love my babies and am so thankful I've got them.

Rocinante1 Sat 23-Jun-18 21:19:10

My life is so much easier without their dad in the picture. The kids are calmer and more settled. All he did was mess them around and upset them, and then tell at them. And they were only 2 and 6 months when he left. The 2 year old changed within a few weeks of him being gone - no longer a crier, played more, laughed more. They are happy children and I really think they wouldn't be if he had stayed.

And my own life... I can plan things my way. I don't have to look after my ex, cook for him, pick up his clothes from all over the house. It sounds silly, but being able to live the way I want too has made me so much happier. I don't have to ask permission to do stuff - he didn't want to babysit, but u organise my own babysitter and do my own things. I love my life. I wouldn't love it if he were still here.

3istheMagicNumberr Sat 23-Jun-18 21:23:07

I'm a newish single mum of a 4 month old. It is hard at times but I feel strong that I'm doing it all when I never imagined I could. My OH just caused me more stress.
So much respect for any single parents, it truly is the hardest job

NC4Now Sat 23-Jun-18 21:23:48

I’m a newly single mum again for the second time. Only a week in but feeling really positive.
We’ve just moved into our new home, which I love, and the atmosphere is so much lighter. I’m slightly daunted about managing the finances and housework solo, but I will only have my own standards to live up to.
It feels good, so far.

Sevendown Sat 23-Jun-18 21:25:02

I’ve been a single mum and I think my life then was much better than most of the smug marrieds’

LiteraryDevil1 Sat 23-Jun-18 21:28:31

Me! Single mum of 3. Life was much better once stbexh left me with 2dc. Went into a new relationship and now have ds1 who is the best thing ever even though he's only seen his dad once. I love the freedom, the autonomy, the complete lack of make shit.

1moreRep Sat 23-Jun-18 21:31:46

i love it because:
3 days a week i don't need to worry about child care
the house is as i left it on my return
1/2 the washing
no man smell in the house
i get to be friends with their dad and they get 2 main families - twice the grand parents etc
no one can let me down as it's just me

it's tough sometimes because
the financial responsibility
no one will ever share your financial burden or truleynlove your child as much as a parent so ill never get to share my full life again if you get me/ sad but true

Selladoor Sat 23-Jun-18 21:32:46

Aww thank you OP, this brought me a massive smile! Me and DDs dad are divorced and have a fantastic relationship with DD. I've found out I'm pregnant with a casual relationship recently. I've been focussing on the negatives too much lately and this thread reminded me of the positives grin

dilly123 Sat 23-Jun-18 21:40:10

I'm resident parent to dd 15 her dad exh is not a great father she is very low on his list of priorities & sees her every few months this only bothers me when it bothers her other than that I like just getting on with it alone.. also have ds 6 who's dad has never even acknowledged him.. he ended our relationship when I was 8 weeks pregnant & I love it.. I get to make all the decisions & get 100% of the love.. ds is an amazing little boy I'm so proud of him & the job I've done so far.. I've been single 7 years & can't see that changing any time soon. Ds has not yet asked any questions about his dad, I am not looking forward to 'that conversation' because how can it not hurt him deeply that his dad doesn't want anything to do with him but we'll cross that bridge when we get there

Felicityx01 Sat 23-Jun-18 22:03:09

Thankyou for your lovely experiences glad theres other fellow single mum's doing it alone and staying strong for our kids! I feel the same way I love how I can bring up my child the way I want to without anyone's opinions, i dont feel lonely cause i have my son to wake up to, and yes the financial side of things are difficult but my DS gives me the motivation to work and earn the money so I can support him and spoil himsmile as this was my first child I haven't experienced what it's like to have a partner supporting you etc but I became used to it being alone while I was pregnant, it's great that we dont rely on men! It tore my heart out being dumped for another girl while expecting a baby was very hard to swallow but I've taken it in my stride and really love being a single mum I feel very proud of myself for being so strong

Donthugmeimscared Sat 23-Jun-18 22:23:41

I've been a single mum to three since last year they are 7,10 and 13. I wish I had ended it sooner as life is so much better. It can be hard some time as I never have time to myself (ex isn't aloud to see them) but life is alot more chilled out, the children behave better and I'm just happy.

Babyblue32 Sun 24-Jun-18 02:46:35

I'm soon to be a first time mum, and a single one.
Been told I'll be much better off without dad (he's been ghost since start of pregnancy) nice to read how people seem happier doing it themselves... 🙂 makes me feel positive for when it all starts xx

ilovepicasso Sun 24-Jun-18 06:52:16

This is a really encouraging thread. Thank you op for starting it.
I'm new at the single parent thing, super, sparkling new and scared shitless at the same time as feeling free, relaxed and relieved.
I'm scared about coping financially but you're all giving me hope that it will work itselfout. Thanks smile

Frouby Sun 24-Jun-18 07:01:44

I have been a mum in a shitty relationship, a single mum and now I am happily married.

I also loved being a single mum. It was very cosy with just me and dd. Hard but also lovely sometimes. Money was difficult and it was tough when everything came down to me. But better than being in a shitty relationship.

However it's nice being in a happy relationship too and not being a single mum. DH isn't perfect but he does do his share. So don't think that it's always easier to be on your own. It's easier and nicer than being with a knobhead tho!

Elusiveone Sun 24-Jun-18 07:07:03

Ive been a single parent for 10 years as ds is now 18. Its been hard but ive enjoyed it and raising my ds to the young adult she is now. I have enjoyed the time wish i could do it all again smile

SoddingUnicorns Sun 24-Jun-18 07:09:40

I loved it. I was a single mum for 4.5 years, it was just me and DS1 (his dad was violent and abusive), I always said I was happiest on my own and I really did enjoy it.

When I met DP all that changed but I wouldn’t have given up my single Mum status for anyone but him, and I’m glad I did because we have DD and DS2 now, but I relished those years on my own because it gave me the time to rebuild my confidence and prove to myself that I can do it on my own. It was very empowering.

TeachesOfPeaches Sun 24-Jun-18 07:14:53

Sat snuggled up with my 2 year old watching Postman Pat. No pressure to get up or do something we don't want to do. Been up since 5.30 and he sleeps in my bed so we're almost attached at the hip!

TeachesOfPeaches Sun 24-Jun-18 07:18:14

So many threads on here about DPs not pulling their weight at the weekends and the huge arguments about who gets to stay in bed late and who gets up with the children. We don't have that so the home is very calm.

SnapAndFart Sun 24-Jun-18 08:14:09

Oh god yes. I became a much better parent when I left my ex, because I was no longer dealing with the stress of living with him. I should have left years earlier.

My kids and I have an amazing relationship. They see their dad a couple of times a year, as that's as much as he can be arsed to make the effort to get in touch.

Fluffiest Sun 24-Jun-18 08:25:45

I'm not a single mum but my DH was raised by one, and I can trace a lot of his awesomeness to how she raised him. He's kind, hard working and doesn't see the housework or childcare as my work. I am very grateful for my MIL for raising a great human being, so kudos to you single mums. You're doing much more than the media gives credit for.

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