Sorry this is so long but I'm trying to avoid drip feeding.
I've been with my boyfriend for 6 months. He left his wife over a year ago, he hadn't been happy for a while, there was nobody else involved, they have no children. She didn't want the relationship to end and tried to persuade him to come back. His family and friends put him under quite a bit of pressure to try again. It's almost like because there wasn't anyone else then there was no reason not to try to make a go of it.
He and his wife used to live in the same small town as his parents and brother and they had/have lots of friends in common. She still lives there. When he left he moved about an hour away from there and I live about an hour from him in the opposite direction. So, we are unlikely to accidentally meet any of them.
It took him a while to tell his family that he was seeing me and I have only recently met them. He felt they would disapprove. They seem to have been fine about it though.
He doesn't want his wife to know he is seeing someone because it might possibly cause upset and drama (and he says it's none of her business). I'm fine with that but...
...my issue is that when he occasionally socialises with the guys in their old circle, along with his brother, he pretends I don't exist so that it doesn't get back to his ex. We went away for a long weekend abroad recently and they think he went on his own (I don't know if he outright lied or just ommited to say). Btw His family have warned him against letting his ex know that he is seeing me.
I don't expect/want to be included in his old social circle nor do I expect him to stop seeing them but it makes me feel a bit sht tbh. I don't know if that's reasonable.
I sometimes feel that he isn't really ready for a relationship if he can't be honest about us. It bothers me that he and his family are pussy footing around the ex. I want him to be proud to be with me and not give a fck what everyone else thinks. It's a shame as I really think that in every other way our relationship 'has legs'. I don't want to end it but I don't want to live in the ex's shadow either.
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Relationships
Boyfriend keeping me a secret
21 replies
ThingsThatMakeUGoHmmm · 19/06/2018 23:29
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