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Found him on tinder, only been 1st date

(16 Posts)
starlightsweet Wed 13-Jun-18 20:45:41

Ok so had a first date the weekend
Went great, been talking loads and arranged another one for Friday day time

I found him on tinder
Ok yes I went on there I admit but purely coz my friend said I bet he is on there! Curiosity got the better of me and yep he is

So I feel fine with it, we've had one date ?! But my friend said I shouldn't go on the next date ?
Just wanted to ask what everyone's thoughts are ?

People that are on old and can help? This is my first experience on old after being single for ages after. A really nasty relationship

Thanks peeps

stressedandskint Wed 13-Jun-18 20:49:40

It's been ONE date! He's not going to delete his dating profiles and make it official after one date is he? Why would he?

Ignore your friend. She either means well but is a bit weird or she's deliberately trying to meddle and mess things up for you.

Go on the date and have fun. Go on a few more dates and see if you like each other first.

AllStar14 Wed 13-Jun-18 20:49:47

Why does your friend think you shouldn't go on the second date if the first went so well?

Dieu Wed 13-Jun-18 20:58:44

Ok, so if I have understood correctly, you met through a dating site (not Tinder) but have since seen him on Tinder.

I think you should definitely meet him again, if the date went so well. I personally wouldn't remove my OLD profile on the strength of one date. It's too soon.
I've had guys take down their profile immediately after meeting me, but then they went cold afterwards, so it's definitely not a surefire sign of commitment, or of liking you more.
The only exception would be, is if you had asked him on your date if he was on any other dating sites, and he said no. This would be disingenuous and would put me off.
Beware of your friend's intentions, by the way. Sometimes people can sabotage things - perhaps unintentionally or subconsciously - for a variety of reasons. Jealousy, own love life not going so well, don't want to be left behind, etc.
Listen to your own voice/gut, and not that of anyone else.
Good luck!

AllStar14 Wed 13-Jun-18 21:01:59

Oh sorry I misunderstood. But you should still go on the date.

datingdisaster41 Wed 13-Jun-18 21:02:37

Absolutely agree with others. It doesn't mean anything that he is in tinder. Go on the date, enjoy it and if you get on so well that you become exclusive, I would then expect him to freeze/whatever his dating profile on whichever sites he is on. Good luck x

Butterflykissess Wed 13-Jun-18 21:16:38

its been one date! taking it you slept together? and thats why your feeling annoyed?

starlightsweet Wed 13-Jun-18 21:50:34

God no i didn't sleep with him?!
It was a pub drink.

You didnt read my post - I said I was fine wit it - no where did I say I was annoyed.

No I didn't meet him online, it was through a mutual friend on Facebook - he knows a friend of a friend and we got talking on FB

It was just purely my friends advice

My ex boy was on tinder and pof and after 2 weeks he told me he came off them, I remember thinking that was soon but this was 5 years ago and as I've said I'm rusty. So it's all new to me again

I'm not going to mention it to him Friday

Just wanted your thoughts

Thanks x

starlightsweet Wed 13-Jun-18 21:51:53

Responses I'd hope I would get
Just trying to be careful this time and read a lot on here of the red flags that's all
X

SoapOnARoap Wed 13-Jun-18 21:53:20

Your friend sounds like a complete tool. I’d ignore her

Butterflykissess Wed 13-Jun-18 21:55:36

im just wondering why your were bothered by it then. its very weird

YeahCorvid Wed 13-Jun-18 22:13:26

As everyone else says - ignore your friend.

Here's another piece of (unsolicited) advice. Be careful about online snooping. Sometimes it's justified and helpful, sometimes it's a bit weird and sometimes it's fucked up and borderline stalkery. (I've done all of the above - not proud) Obviously borderline stalkery isn't fair to the person you're snooping on, not really (although someone will come on and say "People need to know that what they put online is findable" - yes - but that doesn't mean combing the internet for details about someone you know is a great thing to do) - but also it will cause emotional difficulties for you. Finding out things about someone in secret puts you in a strange situation towards them, emotionally. It's best not to do it.

I've learnt the hard way that it is usually best to take a deep breath and step away from the keyboard - certainly in the early stages where they don't owe you anything.

Have a great second date!

starlightsweet Wed 13-Jun-18 22:14:09

'Why your were' ? Sorry I don't understand x

YeahCorvid Wed 13-Jun-18 22:14:11

PS just for clarity I think seeing someone on tinder is fine. you're single, he's single, you're both on tinder. It's when things go further and more furtive that it gets weird

starlightsweet Wed 13-Jun-18 22:16:05

Yep that's very true and good advice
I won't be doing anymore snooping lol
I really like him and so looking forward to our next date
X

eightfacesofthemoon Wed 13-Jun-18 22:16:56

he can be on tinder as long as he's single
currently...
he's single
i'm amazed you even have to ask the question as an adult.

it's also fucking odd you or anyone else would go looking after ONE date

if i was him i would run for the hills

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