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How to advice teenage DS to end his relationship

(11 Posts)
thatisnotanoption Wed 13-Jun-18 17:09:08

DS is 17 and been in a serious relationship for over a year (his first). It is clear that he thinks the relationship should end but he is not sure how to do it. As it is over 35 years ago since I was in this position I don't feel able to help.
I know it is down to him to end the relationship and I do not want to interfere but I do think he should talk to her face to face about it.
His girlfriend is lovely and I would like to minimise the hurt that I know she will feel.
Any advice??

mzsink Wed 13-Jun-18 17:10:39

Mind your own business. Seriously. He needs to figure this for himself. Part of growing up. Old enough for a relationship, old enough for everything that comes with it

MrsJayy Wed 13-Jun-18 17:13:31

I really think you should mind your own if he wants to break up with her he needs to be honest with her.

MrsJayy Wed 13-Jun-18 17:15:32

Btw she might not be as hurt as you think you don't need to be involved with her feelings it is nice that you care but you can't soften it for her.

Wolfiefan Wed 13-Jun-18 17:17:32

Misread the OP.
So you're not saying you think he should end it.
You're saying he wants to and you want to know how he should do it? Had he asked for your advice?
In person.
Someone neutral where she can leave easily if she wants.
Not too public. (Nobody wants to break down in Starbucks!)
Be clear and honest. Don't leave it unsure.
Bless you for worrying about her feelings.
Be ready if he is the one that gets broken up with next time. sad

thatisnotanoption Wed 13-Jun-18 17:38:27

Thank you Wolfiefan - yes he did ask for may advice and I could only think that it should be in person.

eightfacesofthemoon Wed 13-Jun-18 17:52:05

I think it’s good he’s asked for advice. Shows he cares how his actions affect others.
Only advice to give in person. And don’t pretend too much in the build up. By which I mean lots of people say “he said we should go on holiday in August and then the next week he dumped me”

mummmy2017 Wed 13-Jun-18 17:57:43

He needs to tell her he feels the relationship is going to fast and he wants to step back from going out as boy friend to just friends.

itbemay Wed 13-Jun-18 18:35:30

I had this last year with my DD and she broke up with her bf of one year, it wasn’t pleasant, tears on both sides and his Mum also contacted me as he was so distraught. All I can say is that he should be clear that it’s over, no having a break and be ready with hugs and tissues. I think it’s wonderful he’s asked for your advice. Good luck to you both

SuperSuperSuper Wed 13-Jun-18 18:38:03

In person, somewhere very quiet. Not your house, in case she gets very upset and denial-ridden and refuses to leave (this happened to me once, I couldn't get rid of him) - he needs to be in a position to walk away when the discussion is over, respectfully of course.

Also, timing. So, not the day before an exam, for example. I'd also avoid a Friday - I was once dumped on a Friday and I spent the weekend alone and brooding, wondering what he was doing.

BarbarianMum Wed 13-Jun-18 19:26:44

Ah now you see I'd have preferred a Friday so I could spend the weekend sobbing witjout having to go to work/school.

Yes to in person. Yes to somewhere neutral. Yes to being kind but clear that it's over. I'd warn him not to try and explain too much, something neutral about feeling they are drifting apart is better than the fact that he now finds her a bit dull fi - whatever the truth actually is.

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