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Please help me to be rational.DH working away

(16 Posts)
QueenOfMyWorld Wed 13-Jun-18 08:26:55

My dh has got to work away for a month(poss longer) to another country and I've took it hard.We have a ds4 and are all v close.I know I should suck it up and im being ridiculous but im going to miss him so much.He's worked away before but not abroad,feel like a pathetic school girl getting upset.Any understanding words from people who have experienced partners working away would be v much appreciated.tia

hellsbellsmelons Wed 13-Jun-18 09:06:17

So do you work?
And will this still be OK when he's away.
Think of it as about 0.1% of your life that he will be away.
That's nothing.
Is he doing this for money?
As long as your relationship is stable and loving then you have nothing to worry about.
You will miss him loads.
But he will be back.
Make the most of the time before he goes.
You are not pathetic either.
It's gonna be hard but you can and will, do it.

offside Wed 13-Jun-18 09:31:57

Can you not fly out for a long weekend in the middle of his time away?

My DH works away often and even if he’s only away for a week I try to fly out for a night (so long as it’s not too far away) to have a special date night.

We have a DS3 and we’re lucky that our parents love having him stay so if you have the same support you could do the same once or twice maybe.

QueenOfMyWorld Wed 13-Jun-18 09:36:32

Thanks for replying.I can't fly out as no-one to have ds,yrs he's doing it for money and good money at that.Hes working away in Scotland at the mo but back fri pm to sun and that's just about doable.Im worried about ds missing him they are v close

QueenOfMyWorld Wed 13-Jun-18 09:36:55

I'm a sahm

mindutopia Wed 13-Jun-18 09:37:18

See it as a time for you and your son to bond and do things together. Plan some special things for the weekends or go away and visit family. If your ds isn’t already in school or preschool, get some help during the week so you get a break.

My dh only works away for about a week at a time, but I had to be away for about 3 weeks once and my dh had a wonderful time with our dd. They really bonded and did lots of fun things and it was nice for us to have some time to ourselves as well as it’s easy to not appreciate each other when you see each other every day.

TheFifthKey Wed 13-Jun-18 09:38:32

If you’re going to miss him I’d see that as a really good thing - it’s great to miss someone and look forward to seeing them again! I think it adds to a relationship and helps avoid being in too much of a rut. So try and embrace it as a positive - you get to relive some of the early on longing to see one another feeling - quite fun really!

offside Wed 13-Jun-18 10:01:52

Could you fly out with your DS for a long weekend half way through?

Waitingonasmiley42 Wed 13-Jun-18 11:03:58

My husband works a month on and a month off, so is basically away half the year. He is almost always out the country when he's working. He's done this since before both our children were born and it's our normality.

Just keep busy and make plans. See friends or family you haven't seen in a while. Pick out films or tv series you want to binge watch. Organise days out with your DS. It's only 4 weekends which isn't much when you are busy.

Canwejustrelaxnow Wed 13-Jun-18 11:07:32

I'd plan for you both to join him for a bit. Gives you something to look forward to.

PsychedelicSheep Wed 13-Jun-18 11:22:17

Come on love, it's only a month! My partners been away with his band for 9 weeks so far and many people have partners in the forces who are away for months at a time.

Do what everyone else in this situation does and make lots of plans to catch up with friends and enjoy full control of the tv remote!

QueenOfMyWorld Wed 13-Jun-18 13:10:21

Thanks everyone Im trying to get a grip lol

cafenoirbiscuit Wed 13-Jun-18 13:16:11

Ohhhhh think of the lovely evenings when your little boy is in bed and you can watch whatever you want on TV., catch up on box sets etc My DH has always worked away a lot, I have 3 DCs and although I miss him when he's away, I love having some me-time too.
I think you'll enjoy it - make a plan for what you want to do, who you want to see, what you fancy watching or reading etc - the weeks will fly by.

critiqueofeveryday Wed 13-Jun-18 13:18:34

I understand completely, and I'd be upset too. To be honest, I get upset when DH is away for a week!

I know it's pathetic and wrong and that other people deal with way more. But I do really struggle when he's gone.

problembottom Wed 13-Jun-18 13:34:45

My DP works abroad at sports events, he's just gone away for a six week stint. All I can advise you to do is make plenty of plans. I've got two long distance friends coming to stay separate weekends and my parents who live abroad are coming over for a week and a half. Every one of my weekends is booked up. My local friends are a great support too. Oh I make sure I enjoy binging on the shit TV that DP hates (thank god for Love Island, on every night!). It's honestly not too bad.

SunnySomer Wed 13-Jun-18 13:38:09

If he’s not in a crazily different time zone you can skype/face time him regularly
As others have said - plan lots of activities for your weekends, do some really fun stuff with your DS. We make a point of speaking once a day (my DH is normally away during the week).

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