I don’t really know why I’m posting this here just to get it off my chest and rant I suppose. I’m 11 weeks pregnant first baby and we have dogs. I’m feeling very much annoyed at DP just now. I’m at home much more than he is so I’m doing all the housework which is fine I’m at home until being pregnant, early pregnancy has killed me I’m so tired all the time yet there’s not been one single offer to help with housework. If I ask him to do something he says he will but then doesn’t do it. I’m not walking the dogs alone at the moment I can handle one but not two so the idea was we would walk them together in the evenings but nope if I won’t walk them on my own they’re not getting walked which is not fair on the dogs at all and also causing them to be restless at night. Tonight he says he’ll get up with the dogs in the night(they wouldn’t need toif they had a walk )anyway one dog starts crying clearly desperate for the toilet and he just pretends he can’t hear her!! I even gave him a nudge and said take the dog out and he continued to pretend to be asleep. I Know this seems pathetic but I’m having a baby i can’t be the one todo all the nightfeeds and looking after a baby plus all the housework and looo after the dogs feeling really angry right now! I think he’s being utterly selfish !!
I’ve decoded to sit down and have a chat with him tonight. I don’t think he’s doing in on purpose I think he’s actually oblivious. I’ve always done most the household jobs because I’m at home more and that’s fine but right now I need some help it’s a bit much x
Rehome the dogs then rehome the man. Never underestimate how much resentment can build up when you are exhausted with a new baby . I had one like this , he's now an ex. Funnily enough I'm thinking of replacing ex with a dog now ds is older !
Perhaps my own fault for having a rant but I can’t believe how unbelievably judgemental to people are!!! Thanks for jumping to conclusions about my partner and my relationship and suggesting that my dogs who are my family get rehomed! Incredible. I certainly will never post anything like this again 🙄
How are people jumping to conclusions about your partner?
You've described extremely selfish, unpleasant behaviour, some of which sounds deliberate. You've labelled it as selfish already.
People have agreed, and observed that unless he shows the capacity to change now - and does actually change - then it is likely to get worse. Where will you be if he is still behaving like this when you have a newborn?
That's not being judgemental, that's just how these things play out.
Although I do think talk of rehoming the dogs is missing the point somewhat.
Early pregnancy sucks, but so does mid and late pregnancy, babyhood and toddlerhood when also responsible for dog-care too. For grown dogs not to be able to go all night without needing the loo they must be getting very little time outside let alone walks. It's not just your partner who is being selfish it is you too. Discuss the situation and come up with a feasible solution or find the dogs a home where their basic needs are met. I have a baby, older children and dogs, have walked at 5am before husband leaves for work, walked in torrential rain with morning sickness, walked at midnight after his 12 hour shift - he has done plenty too but they are OUR responsibility not just his.
I suppose all you people have never done anything selfish in your relationships ? I certainly have! The reason I am unable to walk them is due to a medical condition which is temporary and will get better but for now I simply can’t do it. I did get up and let the dog out your missing the point there. The point of this post was a simple rant to get it off my chest so I could sleep and be able to have a conversation with my partner today once I had cooled off, I’m a firm believer of not talking it out when your angry it achieves nothing. You all assumed that my partner deserves me to leave him and that’s judgmental! Thank you for making me realise what this forum is really like!
OP, you're having a rant and that's fair enough. We've most of us offloaded at some point or other on here.
But.....a few of the comments are quite right. Until you have a baby who demands your attention every forty minutes for 3 months solid, neither you nor your partner have any idea what sleep deprivation is like.
You really do need to talk to your dp and get him to understand that in those circumstances, if you ask him to do something in the middle of the night, he doesn't waste time and energy pretending to be asleep - or arguing - he just does it. All joking aside, if he doesn't understand that, and won't work as a team, your next year could be a killer.