Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

He's gone back to her again!!

(137 Posts)
youloveitorhateit Mon 11-Jun-18 19:36:48

A month ago I found out my boyfriend of 3 years had been sleeping with someone else, she had no idea about me (apparently) had heard from a friend he had a girlfriend and then messaged me on Facebook, she said he texts and calls her all the time and sent me screen shots of messages of him even saying he was in love with her, how he misses her so much and wants to be with her. He’s been seeing her at least once a week for a few months.

I forgave him because I’m an idiot. Yesterday I found out he has been seeing her again, and even after all the trouble of her finding out about me even delivered flowers at her front door. I know I probably shouldn’t of but this afternoon I’ve text her a load of abuse but I can’t help feeling like such a mug, we spoke on the phone weeks back and she promised never to speak to him again. He’s coming home from work and refusing to talk about it because he’s “tired” he just doesn’t give a shit does he? I’ve asked him over and over if he loves her and he smiles and says “not really”. It hurts more the fact it’s the same girl he’s going back to!

I’m going to have to leave him now aren’t I sad someone give me a kick up the ass before I end up making myself look even more stupid!

AnneLovesGilbert Mon 11-Jun-18 19:41:18

What’s your housing situation?

Tell him not to come home tonight as you’ve had enough of his shit, he can find somewhere else to stay tonight as you don’t want to look at his stupid face.

Don’t lower yourself to ranting at her. Block her and remember you had no reason to trust her and you’ve both been putting up with him and his lies.

It’s over. He’s treating you like an absolute mug and you need to find your self respect and tell him to fuck off.

KateGrey Mon 11-Jun-18 19:43:43

Although what she’s done isn’t great he’s the cheat! Bin him! You’re worth a whole lot more than this

SparklyMagpie Mon 11-Jun-18 19:44:28

In short - No

He doesn't give a shit about you, but you need to think about what you're going to do.

This won't stop. If you have to keep bringing her up and telling him to stop, that's no relationship!

Don't be a mug!

Get rid

Vanillamanilla1 Mon 11-Jun-18 19:44:50

You need to get a spine and some self respect and sling him out ... For good
You're actually giving him a free pass to continue with his behaviour by taking him back .. he's literally having his cake and eating it ..or her

Bluntness100 Mon 11-Jun-18 19:49:35

Ah cmon now. He's chasing her, tells he he loves her, misses her, gives her flowers, but she's the one you text the abuse to? Because if she said no, that would be alright then?

Cmon. Really? Dudes cheating on you, repeatedly. It's over. Get some self respect here and tell him to fuck off. Because it's only a matter of time before he walks.

youloveitorhateit Mon 11-Jun-18 19:50:13

I’m currently living with my parents saving to buy, he lives near by but is here every single night. I can’t believe I forgave him and how he can leave for work give me a kiss says he loves me then is on the phone to her as soon as he’s left.

He even had the nerve to say to me “all you pair go on about is eachother” says it all!

He’s ringing non stop and I’m ignoring his calls, he’s told me to block her number but that’s because he doesn’t want me contacting her and finding out what he’s up to I’m guessing

category12 Mon 11-Jun-18 19:52:12

Just block him. You don't live together, you can easily just ditch the fucker. So do it.

eightfacesofthemoon Mon 11-Jun-18 19:52:24

You need to block him and get some self respect. You’re obviously young. You want a lifetime of this shit.
Let them be together you’re much better out of it.
If you let him back he just knows you’re so fucking desperate he can do ANYTHING TO YOU

Bluntness100 Mon 11-Jun-18 19:52:27

Well of course it is. He's telling her to do the same thing.

Cmon, you don't even live together. It's only 3 years. He is in a relationship with someone else. End it.

expatinscotland Mon 11-Jun-18 19:52:28

Get some self-respect. Tell him to fuck off for good. 'There's no need to discuss anything or talk since you're tired. I'm tired of you fucking around. This relationship is over.'

expatinscotland Mon 11-Jun-18 19:53:33

Block him to fuck. Don't let him in your folks house. Just ditch him. He's a cunt.

TheCraicDealer Mon 11-Jun-18 19:58:10

Why is this even a cause for debate? His attitude is almost gleeful. He's not choosing between either of you because he knows his golden cock is so attractive to both of you neither you or OW is making him choose, lest he goes for the one who makes his life less difficult. That or (and I have seems this quite a few times) neither of you want to be the one that "looses" him, like it's some weird competition.

Give your head a wobble and tell him to fuck off.

youloveitorhateit Mon 11-Jun-18 19:58:55

@Bluntness100 I’ve seen so many of the messages he’s sent saying all of that, he even messaged her best friend telling her how he was in love with her. I am just in shock really. He’s saying she was nothing but a bit of attention. It’s the fact I said to her please if he contacts you again let me know, I asked her to block him on fb and she ignored it too. We don’t live together but he is at my house every single night.

He will either flat out deny it all when I have proof or refuse to speak about it all. I do believe he does want to be with me and he’s saying she’s the one chasing him.

youloveitorhateit Mon 11-Jun-18 19:59:20

Reading through what I’ve just wrote makes me feel such a fool sad

earlybyrd Mon 11-Jun-18 20:01:13

What advice would you give a good friend about this ? Then take your own advice.

foodiefil Mon 11-Jun-18 20:01:37

If you go back to him again you ARE a mug

Fool me once, shame on you
Fool me twice, shame on me

Get rid!!!!

earlybyrd Mon 11-Jun-18 20:01:38

What advice would you give a good friend about this ? Then take your own advice.

youloveitorhateit Mon 11-Jun-18 20:03:08

The first time I found out I went in a relationship on Facebook with him, yesterday the day it all came out he had apparently promised her he was deleting it all of his Facebook but it’s still there.

I cannot believe this, today I have been texting OW and she’s said to me she wants to get back with her ex, I told DP and she has now sent me a screenshot of him texting her “are you really going to try and make it work with your ex” he wants her doesn’t he. How am I supposed to get over this I can’t eat and feel like I’m about to throw up.

SleepFreeZone Mon 11-Jun-18 20:03:18

Do your parents know? There is no way in hell I’d be letting him stay if I knew he was pissing my daughter about the way he is pissing you around.

youloveitorhateit Mon 11-Jun-18 20:03:49

@SleepFreeZone No they don’t, last night he was ringing me up begging me not to tell them for that exact reason.

Brakebackcyclebot Mon 11-Jun-18 20:04:12

Throw him out! You don't live together, and I presume you don't have kids? You are allowing him to treat you like shit and he's going to carry on. He has shown you what your future with him would be like - full of mistrust & cheating.

She is NOT the problem . He is.

Bluntness100 Mon 11-Jun-18 20:06:19

* I do believe he does want to be with me and he’s saying she’s the one chasing him*

Oh cmon you don't really. You can't? You've seen what he's saying to her, don't you think she thinks the same thing?

And you know he's lying, he's chasing her. You've seen the texts,

End it, honestly he can't have any respect for you allowing this to go on and your only question is do you love her. What the fuck difference does that make, he's involved in anothe relationship. He's even telling other people he loves her ffs.

SleepFreeZone Mon 11-Jun-18 20:06:37

Tell your parents and let them help save you from yourself.

Maelstrop Mon 11-Jun-18 20:07:35

He even had the nerve to say to me “all you pair go on about is each other

Jesus Christ, sounds like he’s loving this! Why are you allowing him to do this to you? Get rid, OP!

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: