My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

I’m desperate for a boyfriend

4 replies

notturningintopowerranger · 10/06/2018 16:21

I am in my 30s with two kids, my looks are fine. I have a wonderful job - it’s very busy though and I work from home most of the time. I have every other weekend to myself but spend the nights I have off with lovely friends (all women), so it’s not easy to meet people. I’ve tried online dating, but I’m not getting much luck at all.

I am feeling quite low about this today, I haven’t had sex for ages, and I’m considering a one night stand which I know would leave me feeling emotionally conflicted. How the hell do I meet men? Any online dating tips? Any ideas to meet men in real life? How do I know if I’m coming off desperate? What do other people do?

OP posts:
Report
Walkacrossthesand · 10/06/2018 21:16

Other people soldier on like you're having to, trying to keep socially active, maybe online dating if you've the stomach for it (it's not easy, that's for sure) and trying to be happy with the life you've got because 'meeting someone' is luck, and not to be relied on for happiness. HTH!

Report
tabularasa35 · 13/06/2018 05:14

I am in a similar position. 2 DC and no time for myself. I have spent the last three years working on myself and strengthening my friendships. I have had 3 guys from work ask me out (the only place I socialise with men lol) but it is a terrible idea. Finally I feel I am in a good place myself and decided to sign for OLD. I am very selective, I know what I want. It was difficult to find an interesting man but I did! I have only messaged one. We have had two dates so far and luckily will be a third. No fireworks or future planning, both taking things calmly. But it is nice. Desperation is not going to help you find a worthy partner. I am glad I have said no to attractive guys. I am glad I dated a man who has nothing wrong with him, but I didn't settle. I really like the guy I am seeing now, and I am just enjoying his company. Rome wasnt built in a day.

Report
stressedandskint · 13/06/2018 20:29

I'm in a similar situation. All my friends are in couples and don't like going out at all anymore even though we're only in our late 20s. I need to make new single friends to go out with and have fun. I need a stable job first so I can hopefully expand my social circle and maybe get a hobby.
My friend met her partner on Tinder. I tried it for ages and chatted to a lot of guys. They were all happy to chat but quickly disappeared when I mentioned actually meeting up. In all the time I was on Tinder, I only met one guy and he wasn't my cup of tea at all. I just want to meet someone in real life!
I think if you're serious about meeting someone, the key is to have some form of plan such as going out more or changing where you go out or who you go out with. But what do I know, I'm still single myself!

Report
BitchQueen90 · 13/06/2018 21:21

In short - I don't. I'm a mum in my late 20s, single for 4 years and I enjoy the single life.

I think you need to learn to be happy with yourself before you look for a man because the women I've known who are desperate for boyfriends end up settling for any old bloke who will have them. OLD is shit anyway in my opinion, too many users and losers on there. I'm happy with my work, my friends and my family. A partner wouldn't add anything to my life right now.

I have a casual FWB arrangement which suits my needs but I'm not the type who gets emotionally attached easily and I know it might not work for other people.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.