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What can you expect financially in a divorce ?

(17 Posts)
SteelyPanther Sat 09-Jun-18 18:56:11

This is my first post so please be gentle !
Posted earlier this morning but couldn't see it, so trying again.

Married 24 years. Gave up my career to care for the kids/home as he was a big earner, I worked occasionally for my sanity. He's got a good private pension, mine is laughable.
DD on a 15 hour contract (actually works more like 30+ when available) and another still in school at home.
Hubby off work sick at the moment and I'm working 4 days but temporary.
Hubby turning into an old man. Drinks a bottle of wine every night, goes to bed late and gets up late.
I feel like we're growing apart and can't see what we'll have in common when the kids have gone.
You only get one short life and I don't want to stay because I'm financially tied.
What could I expect to get in a settlement?

OP’s posts: |
lifebegins50 Sat 09-Jun-18 19:54:39

How old are you both? As a starting point look at 50:50 split of assets for housing and cms at standard rate.
Do you know cetv of his pension and any other savings? Pensions might need an assessment, usually costs around £1500 to determine how to fairly split.

Its best to work on a conservative settlement.

expatinscotland Sat 09-Jun-18 19:57:18

You need proper legal advice because it varies a lot with circumstances.

awishes Sat 09-Jun-18 20:14:50

If it is of any help to you our agreement had to be settled at the second financial hearing as we could not agree.
The starting point is always 50:50. Circumstances will move this one way or another, mine were similar to yours. I found solicitors either made me think I would get everything or almost nothing! Try to get as many free 30 minute appointments as you can ince you have your financial affairs on paper and prepare questions beforehand.
All assets go in to the pot, cash, equity and the value of each persons pension (cetv for divorce purposes).
Any children under 18 need to be looked after, the judge told me that DC1 who was just 18 and had months of school left did not need to be taken in to account when I asked for sufficient housing ie 3 bedrooms! So only my other DC needed a roof over her head. If there is enough money in the pot both parties would be housed equally. Pensions can be split, in my case I was told an approx split of the total of both our pensions would be 65/35 in my favour as a wonan is expected to live longer. I was also told a 55/45 split of equity in my favour due to having to house DC2.
You will be advised to go to financial mediation before court.
In the end we didn’t split pensions so I had slightly more equity, I will probably regret that in future but my priority was to give the DC stability at a crucial time in their education.
Please remember however sensible things start off they often deteriorate when the finality of divorce hits the pocket! But life isn’t just about money we all strive to be happy.
Look after yourself💐

oldfatandtired1 Sat 09-Jun-18 20:18:42

Long marriage, big disparity in earnings. Same as me. (He earned almost 100k, I’m on 30k). My ex walked out on me for OW and told me I’d get ‘half the house and that’s your lot’. I got 90% of house and 250k of his pension which has allowed me to buy a lovely cottage - mortgage free - and get on with my life.

Do get proper legal advice, every case is different. Wikivorce is a good site - if you can detail ages, salaries, kids, length of marriage etc the legal people there can advise.

But don’t stay in an unhappy marriage - life’s too short.

ComedyBoobs Sat 09-Jun-18 20:34:16

I agree with previous posters - you need to get legal advice.
I don't know how old your DCs are, mine were pre school - teens when I got divorced. I was told by the courts that I should be working full time. I got 10% of ex's pension & 50% of the properties that we owned.
If your unhappy in your marriage, I'd say leave - don't base it on finances.

Somanymistakes Sun 10-Jun-18 02:40:46

I've been told to expect 60/40 split.
DH is late 50s
Me 43
I gave up work to be sahm on his request but had equal earning career at that point. One kid has disabilities (SN). Kids early teen and pre-teen. Not back to work due to teen being unpredictable

DH was also told would be 50/50 split. I brought 90% of money to marriage. All from before our marriage. He going to get half. It doesn't seem fair. He also said I need to take minimum wage job and tough luck. I want to retrain for better job as think need to be able to support kids independently in a couple of years.

How come everyone has such large settlements? DH said he will fight and prepared to use up money in solicitors fees. I also have no access to money.

Somanymistakes Sun 10-Jun-18 02:41:34

Was a long marriage too

awishes Sun 10-Jun-18 22:56:37

Please don’t worry, I self repped and it turned out ok.
We started in similar salaries, after being a SAHM I went back to work on min wage, there was no allowance for that or Loss of pension contributions but I have to live with that.
I still feel slightly hard done by but the relief of getting out of the marriage and regaining my financial independence is immense.

Dowser Sun 10-Jun-18 23:22:33

I’d been a stay at home mum while ge built up his career
I got 72/28

lifebegins50 Sun 10-Jun-18 23:58:02

Might be useful to know when the settlements were as I think recent settlements might be different to those from a few years ago.

oldfatandtired1 Mon 11-Jun-18 00:52:09

My settlement (90% equity, substantial pension share, kids grown up, long marriage) was at the end of 2015. We were in Hampshire. Judge told H it was a ‘needs case’ and that I needed to be mortgage free while H could get a mortgage. H was also told that any less equity to me would result in my getting maintenance until state pension age hence more equity for a ‘clean break’.

SoapOnARoap Mon 11-Jun-18 07:54:52

I think you’ll do very well out of this. Most people tend to, where there’s a big pension pot & house involved

messiejessie Fri 15-Mar-19 17:37:57

Did you get maintenance as well?

adulthumanwolf Fri 15-Mar-19 17:44:27

This is a zombie thread, you may not get a response from OP.

SteelyPanther Sat 23-May-20 09:11:10

Sorry for not replying.
Still with hubby, I’ve a new post if you’re interested.
Solicitor told me to start with 50:50 but would get more due to long marriage and cohabiting before. Also as gave up my career and pension.
He would need to pay maintenance for DS and I would get tax credits.
I asked about spousal maintenance, told probably not but could be used as a bargaining tool.
Also told that he would be asked to pay costs.
Shocked that in this day and age you still need to find a reason for divorce, just not wanting to be married isn’t enough !!
Also told to be the one to petition for divorce as it puts you in a better position.

OP’s posts: |
Oopsiedaisyy Sat 23-May-20 09:38:36

Currently going through this, been told its based on 50 50 split and needs, ex refuses to believe this.

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