Dating Thread 134 - 50 Swipes of Tinder

[RunsforCake14]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
   
2. Develop a thick skin.
   
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
   
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
   
5. Trust your gut instinct.
   
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
   
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
   
8. If it's not fun, stop.
   
9. Loo update is mandatory.
   

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

[RunsforCake14]

I thought I'd better start a new thread as I filled up the last one. Apologies for the rubbish title.

[Xiolablueviolet]

It's hard when you have younger kids at home.

I didn't date for quite a few years when my son was younger. Now that was a barren season ;)

[dancemom]

Checking in ... feeling very sorry for myself tonight 🙁

[LeChatDeNuit]

Hello

[RunsforCake14]

I'm in that in-between stage with my kids. Early teens so can be left home alone during the day and early evening but I wouldn't feel happy leaving them if I was out late.
I've never had problems finding time for dates and my last LTR only met them briefly a couple of times. But I think a lot of men see "age 50 with kids at home" and think "no thanks"

dancemom sorry to hear you're not feeling great

[SpringtimeSun]

Just jumping into the younger/older debate.
I'm currently hovering around the smitten bench with a MUCH older guy. 12 years older to my 39. But you'd never guess he's that age. Fit, handsome, plenty of stamina and so very considerate.
Time rich as he's only got 1 adult child compared to my 3 very small ones but he's not put off by brood.
We've got so much in common and such a similar outlook that really the age isn't an issue.

We met on PoF, he wrote the best messages that I'd ever received. And I was his 1st ever OLD
I still like to tell him he got off far too easy with the whole process.

[MargoLovebutter]

Springtime he sounds like a keeper!

I had to block Mr Shiny, as he kept texting stuff like ‘I bet your voice is lovely’, ‘I bet you look good in a dress’ and it was creeping me out, so I blocked him. Was I being too harsh or is that a bit weird - given we’ve never met?

[Xiolablueviolet]

I don't go younger. I find under 45 they tend to be too immature unless you want a casual/fwb. Some exceptions obviously.

I don't think 12 years is too much difference. If it works it works.

Older ones have had other women sand off their blunt edges. Makes it an easier and more fulfilling experience overall.

[TomHardysBitontheside]

I agree xiola 45 is my lower age limit.

Runs I turn 50 this year, so I'd better hurry up and find someone before it all dries up! Just a thought, do you say your children live at home? I just say "Mum to two teenagers" in mine, and that's all I say about them.

[MargoLovebutter]

Another nearly 50 too. My DC are nearly grown up but still at home. No baby sitters required but they do still change the dating dynamic.

Last guy was 5 yrs younger than me. I really struggle to find 50 plus blokes I fancy, they don’t look like Chris Noth, John Hamm or George Clooney on OLD!

[RunsforCake14]

TomHardy I don't say anything about my kids in my profile. I don't even mention them unless someone specifically asks because I keep them separate from dating. But it shows in the options when you choose if you have kids and whether they are over 18.
I'm assuming that's what's putting men off. I've had some say they're not interested any more when they find out. Or maybe it's just me they don't like!

[SansaClegane]

I just signed up on Bumble and find it utterly disheartening. I'm muttering "Shit, no" to myself whilst swiping left about 200 times; of the few that seem decent only a fraction match (presumably because I'm too old as I'm the same age as them?); and then half of them don't message back. Am I doing it wrong? it just seems to be all arseholes and weirdos on there! Maybe I'm not made for OLD...

[GreyGardens88]

I'm getting barely any matches on Tinder anymore and I feel invisible in real life, absolutely no dates on the horizon t o contribute to the thread, though people tell me I'm good looking also feeling very down in the dumps tonight

[Writingfrighteningverse]

Hello all you brave and brilliant daters! Found your thread and hoping to find the courage to take the plunge in OLD inspired by your stories and advice. I've realised I've somehow carelessly let the last 5 years of my life slip by with absolutely 0 dating/love interest and time is seriously ticking... big love to those feeling fed up tonight, I'm with you. I really do admire your courage and they way you support each other here, hope you don't mind me tagging along...

[Chocmallows]

Date yesterday was Mr Tall, now renamed Mr Nice but dull
Today I had a drink with his twin brother in character, but he wasn't my type looks wise either. I have to let him down gentally.

I miss Mr Cute

[Chocmallows]

Hello writing time to try again and share your woe stories here. We will back you up.

[Chocmallows]

Think I've been ghosted by a man who was desperate for me to reply and talk about a date. My WA were read but ticks staying grey. V odd and I think he just likes the chase!

[MargoLovebutter]

Hi Writing, welcome!

Sorry to hear Mr Nice was dull Choc.

[Xiolablueviolet]

Ahh. Chris noth.
That bloody addictive programme that was so good but sold such a bunch of lies

[esk1mo]

just caught up on the last thread

my ex-iron from beginning of this year has been acting really...stalkery. i dont know
how to handle it. he’s giving me the creeps actually and making me feel quite uncomfortable.

other than that, dont have any irons so will live through all of you

[Chocmallows]

Margo I think I'll go on a second date as he was nice and I may have come across as dull too. We kept the conversation to a very safe - could have been stood at a bus stop - level.

The one today I just couldn't fancy or imagine him taking his clothes off near me.

[Jaxinthebox]

So tomorrow morning I have a date - not with Mr Snog - Ive not heard from him and I think Im done. I like him but we were FB with benefits...

Ive been chatting with this guy for a while and he wanted to see me before I went on holiday, but I had a chest infection (still friggin lingering around) so put him off, we chatted all holiday.

He is coming to mine tomorrow morning, not my usual 'meet for coffee in a safe place' but I feel ok about it. We have talked about everything and anything over the past month or so. So I feel safe.

He works nightshift and the only thing that is putting me off slightly is he has two primary school age boys. My kids are 18 and 15 and Im over that part of parenting. I will see how tomorrow goes before I make any major decisions though.

wish me luck please and lets hope one works out.

[HalfDutchGirl]

Finally caught up on all the posts since not being on here for a week.

From being full of hope with Mr Grill and having a fourth date it all went pear shaped when he decided he wasn’t good enough for me??!!

Got back on to OLD and met up with a guy who on paper was very nice but in person was the biggest kn** ever - drove half hour to get there he didn’t ask me one question, rang his daughter while we were out and after 50 minutes, yes 50, said he needed to go home. Never met anyone quite so arrogant and rude. I mean ok, I obviously wasnt’ for him but there was no need to be so horrid - was happy to get a lift home from me though!!

Joined Eharmony - what a waste of time!! Nothing, nadda, zilch after a week, no responses to any of my messages - big sigh.

Another date arranged for Sunday night (don’t take anything for granted anymore though!!), sounds like Mr NiceGuy so far but who knows?!?!

As for the age difference ... went out with my ex for 14 years and he was 8 years younger. Being mid 50s I find I’ve far more in common with those younger than older!!

[MargoLovebutter]

Good luck Jax - stay safe having someone come to your home.

[meowimacat]

@Iwouldmarrythebeast In answer to your post on the old thread, I think if a guy can't get the hint that you aren't interested after a date then yes block. Maybe just send a message saying how you had a good time but you're just not feeling it etc. That is the kind thing to do, however if you've said that or just have had enough you owe them nothing. A date doesn't mean you owe them anything, so just do what you want. I have honestly blocked so many guys now it's ridiculous haha.

My age on these dating apps is 29-40, I'm 32..will be 33 in a few months but I look about late 20's. I find with guys around 29-33 they want to just party and not settle down for the most part. Then with guys 33-40 they mainly seem like they want to travel the world, or very set in their ways. I'm actually not finding many single dads (who are hot anyway) that I could date. So am ending up seeing guys without kids.

Spoke to the guy i've been on a couple of dates with tonight about me having kids. I've been a bit closed off about it with him as on my bio it says I keep that seperate. I'm totally not into involving someone in that side of my life, unless it was really serious. I'm still not sure about him, but he was so sweet about it all. He doesn't have kids, but when I said I'm just not sure how people would take me being a mum he said 'Obviously some people have kids, and some don't. If you like someone, what's the difference.' So he gets extra points for that now. He has made a lot of effort, so I can't knock him for that.

I am meant to have a date tomorrow day time, but haven't heard from the guy since we matched 2 days ago so I guess that's not going ahead. Don't really feel like wasting the day tomorrow seeing him if he can't be bothered to even contact me tonight to arrange.