I’m physically shaking, I don’t know what to do.
My partner is my carer (I have autism) and is an all round nice guy. Great with our dc, does the lion share of the house work and is very kind usually.
But tonight he was a bit mean all night, though he said it was my autism making me misunderstand and it was only jokes. It felt like he was listing an ll the things he doesn’t like about me.
Then suddenly he started wanting sex. But I was still annoyed and didn’t want to. He kept pestering me for reasons why. To be fair it is usually me that initiates sex as I have a higher sex drive than him, but I just didn’t want to. He’d upset me and I didn’t feel ‘in the mood’.
We’ve both had a drink (him more so) so I thought I’d pretend to be asleep. Just so he would stop bugging me about sex.
He didn’t stop. He pulled me into a lying down position on the sofa and took my pj bottoms off.
I feels so ducking stupid. I didn’t say anything at first. I didn’t move, I just froze. I thought he was lying me down to sleep at first.
When he took my pj bottoms off I panicked and said a random phrase (something about chickens) so he’d ‘know’ I was definitely asleep and would stop.
He didn’t. It went on for just under an hour and finished on a very degrading way that wouldn’t happen usually. At one point I said ‘no I don’t want you to touch me’ but I didn’t open my eyes so maybe he thought I was still aslee?
I don’t feel upset really, more detached, I do feel confused and violated.
I don’t understand why I didn’t move? I don’t know why he would do this?
I don’t know why I didn’t just get up and punch him in the face and walk out with ds. I feel like I should have done that. He’s never been violent, so I don’t know why I was too sacred to let him know I was awake.
He is sleeping now. He cleaned me and pulled up my pj bottoms again before leaving. He’s going to pretend this never happened isn’t he?
I don’t know what to do. I can’t just leave.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
My DH just did something awful
SOSfeelSick · 28/05/2018 01:05
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