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Taking ex back to court

8 replies

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 27/05/2018 20:50

To make things short: ex-Idiot is a dick. We have fought through court regarding access and maintenance.

There is an order in place that stipulates he must pay half of the children's educational costs. We have already been back once because he accused me of overspending ( I did all my shopping for generics in Aldi fss). At the time he gave me E200 to cover uniforms, bags, school fees etc. He felt that I was overspending if I spent over E400: this is to return 3 kids with fees of E150.

I took the Idiot to court and won.

Now Im in a situation where I have to find E64 for school trips by Tuesday. I dont have it. I have sent him the relevant documents that detail cost and the date to be paid by.

I wont let him take the kids outside of the court order for an event he wants them at. I think this is petty revenge.

Ive blocked him because he wont stop calling me names, and yelling 'fuck off' to me on the phone with DC.

Would I be unreasonable by simply filing the paperwork for court when Tuesday passes and not giving him any notice? I'm fed up to my back teeth. I have to drag him through court to get anything. The judge is probably as sick of me as I am being in his courtroom.

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BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 27/05/2018 20:51

school fees were 150 each. Apparently I was making that up

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Joboy · 27/05/2018 22:59

Go to state school. If you cant afford school trips kids don't go .
Forget about court . Get on with your life on your own.

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BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 27/05/2018 23:06

I suspect that the OP is not in the UK Joboy, since she's referring to Euros. The school system is different in other countries, for instance my DC's state primary in Ireland has a 'voluntary' contribution of about €200 per child plus a charge for sundries like photocopying and art supplies. Plus we buy all the books, most of which are workbook style so can't be bought second hand, generally about €60-€90 per child. I really doubt her DC are in private school, which would surely be several thousand per term in fees.

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MotherisourSlave · 27/05/2018 23:07

Presumably you are in Ireland, and the fees are book fees rather than school fees?

Will it not cost far more to take him to court than the €64 you need for the trip?

Have you spoken to the school? I know schools here in the UK have funds to allow children whose parents can’t afford trips to take part in some of them.

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BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 27/05/2018 23:08

If you're in Ireland OP I would just go back to court, the system seems quite favourable to the resident parent here. My friend had a non-paying exH and the judge got his employer to deduct the maintenance from his wages.

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BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 28/05/2018 13:43

I am in Ireland, my kids have the book fees of E100 each per year and the 'voluntary' contribution of E30.

To file the papers to summons him to court wont cost me anything if I am representing myself (which over a breach of the maintenance I am capable of doing).

I will be able to pay for the trips next week, but its embarrassing to have to explain to the school that yet again, because of the Idiot, I cant pay on time.

I think I will just file the papers if the money is not in tomorrow as he has had two weeks notice, knows the deadlines. Im just sick to death of this constant going back to court, it makes a mockery of having a court order in the first place!

@BlackAmericanoNoSugar I would love nothing more than to have it deducted at source, I am going to request this in court.

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nevermind89 · 28/05/2018 13:50

Maybe controversial - but is there a reason you won't let him have the DCs for the event he wants? Maybe if you're both more flexible it might make things to easier? Apologies if that's not possible or I've misread. I just know that we used to be like this, tit for tat - and it's got a whole lot easier since we started being more flexible.

Having said that, we never went to court. I know from my partners experience that can make things very difficult.

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BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 28/05/2018 17:34

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3237583-Not-allowing-my-daughters-to-attend-a-wedding

That was the thread I posted in AIBU regarding this event. Ive had hassle non stop regarding it, including his sister texting me. If there wasnt the history we have, plus a childcare plan in place I probably would have agreed- but he just constantly wants things to be changed and rearranged to suit him not the kids or anyone else. I have plans that day and he would have me cancel mine to suit his.

Im just at the end of my tether. He has no respect for the Court or any orders, so I cant see that I have any option than to enforce it the second he breaches it, as unless the Court have a pattern of behaviour they may be reluctant to make financial orders attached to his earnings (spoke to my solicitor today who said 'oh not again!').

This would be the best scenario I think.