At a crossroads and have no idea which way to go. My marriage had been in bad shape for some time and we had come seriously close to splitting a couple of times in recent years. We had some time apart earlier in the year with him staying elsewhere while we decided whether to split or try again. I was brutaly honest with him about how i had been feeling/what i felt was missing. We agreed to try again slowly on the proviso we get some counselling. Other than the initial session we've been put on a waiting list. Meanwhile he has gradually come back home and we both made great efforts initially in making changes. In recent weeks we have lost some of the connection we had started to regain again and I have voiced concern that we have returned to old habits that I believe will lead us into that same old place. I can see he's trying in his own way but I'm wondering if it's too little too late? There are so many reasons to stay with him and work through things but I'm not sure how much I'm looking at things through rose tinted glasses at what could be vs reality. I've had my head turned a bit recently by someone I'm associated with through work which I can't help feeling isn't a good sign. We've been for coffee a handful of times and we've been getting to know one another. We've not had a deep conversation about where things might be going or where I stand in my marriage but he has made his interest clear and I've not discouraged. I'm digging myself a hole here. Nothing physical has happened beyond a couple of quick hugs goodbye. I can't tell if I'm just flattered by the attention because he seems so patient and eaay to be with or genuinely interested. I'm genuinely not the sort up for affairs and alike. This has completely confused me. I don't want to hurt anyone. I was ready to loose H a few months ago and couldn't see us bouncing back, when he left initially I got my head into a different space - no one else involved. Despite being a bit happier with H than i was because alot of tension is gone I'm wondering if actually I am open to moving on? or whether H and I have a chance and stupidly comtemplating throwing it away because of my reaction to this guy! How do I trust what I'm feeling?
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