So, I came out last year and split up with my partner of 14 years (male). I met someone new, fell completely in love and we are getting married this year. My kids love my new partner and I’m fond of my stepson. So far so good.
My new partner also ended her 14 year relationship last year too. She has a very large closely knit family. I have a small family and am not close with them. I had quite a troubled childhood and my father was very abusive so I’m NC. I have to censor much of my childhood as it’s quite shocking to others, although it was normal to me.
The problem I have is, to my face my MIL is very complimentary and welcoming. I have craved a ‘normal’ family my whole life. She says she is fond of me and so glad that my partner has me. Behind my back though it’s a different story. She says I am not trustworthy and wants to know about my family, she doesn’t believe things I say. I find it hard to trust people because of
my childhood. I find her confusing and I’m worried about what I say all of the time. I don’t know what to do for the best. I would really like to rarely see her, and now I don’t want her to know anything about me.
I want my partner to still be as close to her family as she is, I’m sad that her mum doesn’t feel sure about me and I’m worried that maybe the things she thinks are true. I don’t want to ruin my relationship with my partner and I don’t want to get in the way of her family loyalties.
This is making me so depressed. I felt like I finally had it all sorted but now I’m back to square one.
Really, I would like some advice on how to make her mum more at ease and also if anyone else has been in a situation like this? Thanks in advance.
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Relationships
MIL and trust
15 replies
MildredSparkles · 25/05/2018 12:33
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