Im fed up with this relationship

[Charley34]

Ive been with DP for 11 years he never wanted kids marriage or live together we have a DS each he has ex wife.he is so secretive not allowed pw to his 2 phones wont add me on facebook says dont like it but has a look at DS etc daily we havent had sex in a year kiss is a peck nothing there anymore he wont come to bed with me stays up-says lets me get head start as im unwell with heart pm and other stuff.
He had to move out of house landlord selling so staying with me yet never wanted to live together getting room soon he is rude to me even if i fart he moans half joking half serious he lies alot used to phone sex lines found out years ago even lies about little things like lunch or if he went out for work hides paperwork even reduced my money i get if he dies from £30.000 to £10.000 son in charge of will not me im not his emergancy contact at hospital sister is who lives miles away.....i just dont get it we never go out or away once in 11 years ! Books holiday with his DS not us all we have had family holidays in past been 3 years now keeps me at arms length all time

[Galaxyfarfaraway]

Why are you with him? What positive things does he add to your life? What does your DS think about him?

[rollingonariver]

Leave him? You're not happy, he's not happy. It's no life.

[ShatnersWig]

You haven't asked a question so don't know if you're just venting or wanting advice.

My advice to anyone who says "I'm fed up in a relationship" is
a) chat with your partner and see if you can sort it out;
b) end it.

b) often happens even after you've tried a) so often you may as well just go straight to b) and not collect £200.

[hellsbellsmelons]

I can't believe you have to ask.
That is very worrying.
End it.
You aren't happy.
He brings nothing to the table.
Why would you even bother trying?
Time to throw this one back and get out there and enjoy yourself.
Kick his arse out and move on with your life without this deadweight around your neck.

And then get some counselling for yourself.
Try to understand why you are willing to put up with this.
Look at your self-esteem issues and your co-dependency issues.

But initially, get him gone!

[Zaphodsotherhead]

That's not a relationship. At present it's a lodger you share a room with.

It's not working for you, he's detached and unemotionally engaged...why don't you just tell him you want him gone? Why is it so hard, if you really don't have any feelings for him?

Just treat him as you would an unwanted house-sharer. 'You've got a week to pack up and be gone.'

[Onemansoapopera]

Ugh no that's not a relationship. You're massively shortchanging yourself tethering yourself to this bloke, because he is in no way interested in being tethered to you. End it and give him the 100% freedom he probably wants. He's giving you nothing and you deserve more, we all do.

[TuTru]

You know you deserve better than that.
Being single is better than that xx

[FizzyGreenWater]

Wtf?

There is no relationship.

Just dump him.

[GreenFingersWouldBeHandy]

Why are you even questioning this?

Just finish it.

It doesn't sound as if either of you care about the other one. Pointless.

[Cawfee]

This isn’t a relationship! He’s phasing you out. Get rid and get back some control in this!

[mmmccccccxxx]

What are you getting out of this really ??

[NotLinkedIn]

Sounds awful!
Just treat it like moving house.

[Beaverhausen]

Good Lord kick the wanker out, it has been 11 yrs too long and the mere fact that you are not allowed on his Facebook screams - WARNING!

Kick him out!

[Charley34]

Thank you everyone xx
Im just about to start threapy abused by stepdad and mum for years.
I suppose im always hoping it will change got no one else no friends of family..my DS gets on ok never been allowed to call him dad DP said at begining it may upset his DS no mayjor role in DS life no school parents eve etc all about themselves tbh.

[Thingsdogetbetter]

While all your effort is going into the non-relationship, you'll never have the energy to try to make friends. This man is sucking the life out of you.
Take the opportunity of counselling to begin a new phase of your life. You are nothing but a vague add on to his.
11 years and you never go out? 11 years and you're not even on his fb friends? 11 years and your lives are still completely separate? 11 years and he lies about lunch?
There is nothing to indicate he likes spending time with you, let alone loves you. Time to love yourself and when he moves out, move him out of your life permanently.

[Charley34]

Yes thank you i just need a push x

[Raindancer411]

From what you said, no much would be any different without him in your life. Leave him and find someone they will make you happy