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Colleague Cheating

(24 Posts)
WW86 Thu 24-May-18 19:13:56

Evening all

I have been on annual leave for a week and whilst I was away a colleague of mine used my computer to check my emails etc (arranged) anyway, I went on Facebook earlier on my computer and left himself logged in so automatically brought up his page. Along the bottom there was a conversation with a woman... because I'm a nosey cow (sorry) I clicked on it... slightly sexual, him asking her for pics etc... so I click on his messages, there were at least 4 women there in the conversations, I haven't read then I'm in depth but they are all recent and one did mention having sex.

Anyway the guy is engaged to be married soon and has 2 little kids under 5.

I know this has absolutely nothing to do with me but I haven't stopped thinking about his
Poor fiancé who by he looks of it he is cheating on with more than one person...

What do I do?

Ignore it / forget I saw it? And stop being nosey?
Tell him I know?
Tell his fiancé he is cheating?

Anyone else been in this kinda situation?

Thanks!

TattyCat Thu 24-May-18 19:21:50

None of your business, however distasteful it is. You shouldn't have looked I'm afraid. He's a colleague and his personal life is none of your business. How do you know he doesn't have an 'open' relationship?

pisces7268 Thu 24-May-18 19:28:03

That's a tricky one. I usually tend to stay out of these things as I don't like tempting fate and would worry about it coming back on me, have you met his fiancée?

WW86 Thu 24-May-18 19:32:08

Yes I am thinking I should keep out of it... I wouldn't want it coming back on me but I can't help but think that I wouldn't want to marry this kind of guy.

I've met her a couple of times but only at work events, she seems like a very nice lady.

Although I don't know they aren't in an open relationship, I'm almost certain they aren't, the's said before in office chat that she would kick him out on his ear if he was to ever cheat...

jemr2345 Thu 24-May-18 20:22:45

Goodness no, of course you shouldn’t tell him or her. Absolutely none of your business and you shouldn’t have been snooping. Reading the messages was a massive invasion of his privacy and I should imagine it could get you in trouble at work if it came out. Not to mention how awkward your working relationship with him would be.

sonjadog Thu 24-May-18 21:29:40

What on earth were you thinking checking out your colleague’s private messages like that??!

pisces7268 Thu 24-May-18 21:33:38

I don't think you could get in trouble if he's left his Facebook logged in on your computer, for all you knew it was your Facebook you were on and didn't realise until you read the messages wink
I have been in this situation a few times and it's frustrating not being able to do anything but find that karma usually happens in the end!

MyKingdomForBrie Thu 24-May-18 21:36:24

Wowwww you really can’t say anything after the way you found out. It’s really sad that he’s being such a twat but there’s just no excuse or defence for deliberately reading the private correspondence of a colleague.

NotAnotherNoughtiesTune Thu 24-May-18 21:42:18

I wouldn't say anything but I'd definitely be thinking less of him.

Karma has a lovely way of working her magic.

Human nature to snoop if it's on your own computer. If you'd read it on his I'd say it was disgusting but it's asking for trouble to keep yourself logged in on Facebook on someone else's computer.

Obviously not OK to do but understandable why you did.

Your punishment is knowing he's a filthy sleaze and not being able to say anything.

MegFlyAway2 Thu 24-May-18 21:46:09

Sorry but as I’d want to know if someone I was with was cheating I would say tell her, even if anonymously. Doesn’t seem to be the popular opinion but I bloody hate cheating and I hate how people get away with it and people know about it yet all keep a secret! I wish to god someone from my STBXH workplace told me what was going on!

twattymctwatterson Thu 24-May-18 22:10:41

It's none of your business. Plus I find the way you found out to say a lot about you

Puttingthefootdown Thu 24-May-18 22:12:46

I'm afraid I'd have to tell her..

Dirt bag!

confusedorrepressed Thu 24-May-18 22:21:49

while it wasn't nice what you did, he's a complete dirtbag but I wouldn't be surprised if other people at work knew about it. i would stay out of it.
There was a manager at my work who openly had an affair with a girl his daughter's age, unfortunately for him his wife worked at a hospital near me and I kind of knew her a little bit. i wanted to tell her but I didn't know her like that and I'm just not that type of person, so one day I was talking to a guy at work about it and he mentioned 5 years earlier he'd had an affair with another girl and his wife had been told but she chose to ignore it and stay with him.
you never know she may know what he's capable of anyway.id stay well out of it.

confusedorrepressed Thu 24-May-18 22:22:31

sorry that was long.
i couldve simply said stay out of it and next time don't snoop.

CaledonianQueen Thu 24-May-18 22:34:48

Sorry but I would have to tell her, I would maybe take photos of the chats and write an anonymous letter to his fiancé so she doesn’t end up married to that asshole! I am sure you could edit the text so not to look like it came from your work computer.

Alternatively if you know a friend of hers, I would perhaps say that office gossip was that he had several women on the go.

If there was no other option I would either confront him or tell the fiancé in person.

TroysMammy Thu 24-May-18 22:38:16

You should have put an out of office on your emails. Suppose your colleague had done something that breached GDPR then it would be you in the shit.

ahouseofleaves Thu 24-May-18 22:42:36

No, no. He's an idiot.

But you clicked on the message after you realised it was his profile, and you clicked on further messages and read them. It's really not OK.

There's no way this won't come back to bite you if you do bring it up. There could be consequences at work for you.

He's a fool, but this is knowledge you will have to keep to yourself.

BoobleMcB Thu 24-May-18 23:14:52

Forward the chats from his FB to her. That will keep you out of it and he'll have no idea how it happened

hellsbellsmelons Fri 25-May-18 11:39:35

Yeuk - please tell her.
She's about to marry this creep.
What a wanker!

amateursleuth Fri 25-May-18 11:43:41

Anonymous letter to his fiancee telling her to check his Facebook messages.

ShatnersWig Fri 25-May-18 11:55:48

Does this guy look like Brad Pitt? Or Tom Hardy? Trying to work out why he's so special he manages to have a fiance and four women on the go unless he is seriously incredible looking

yetmorecrap Fri 25-May-18 11:56:48

I was once in the horrible position of being asked as a PA to check a female bosses emails every day whilst she was on business and one came up where she was clearly having regular dirty chats with another woman, ( trail of emails in the email) must admit I was a bit taken back as she was married, I said nothing but always felt very very awkward as she must have known I had seen it.

QueenOfAccidentalDeathStares Fri 25-May-18 11:58:50

i'd send her anonymous screenshoots . if it is an open relationship - no harm done.

WW86 Fri 25-May-18 14:06:31

Thanks all - still haven't made my mind up on what to do! This is what I get for being nosey. I'm in shock!

Ha he certainly isn't Brad Pitt which makes it even more shocking for me, but he has the talk if you know what I mean!

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