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Husband and live chat porn

(26 Posts)
Nicolesx Thu 24-May-18 14:13:55

Basically I borrowed my partners phone to make a call and ended up just having a snoop through his history out of curiosity not because I don’t trust him, I’m 39 weeks pregnant and admit he hasn’t been getting much attention in the bedroom department, anyhow I found that he’s been visiting the same website repeatedly watching live solo girls and you can also chat with them.. I have no issue with porn I watch it myself however I feel it’s different for women as I don’t admire the actors it’s the act that gets me off and they are videos I’m watching however he’s watching live girls which I find a bit of a different story .. not sure how to feel about this what do people think? Would love to bring it up with him however I shouldn’t have been snooping

Adora10 Thu 24-May-18 14:15:46

Personally I find that rank and I'd also find it hugely disrespectful and would not tolerate it in my relationship, we are all different, but for me, interacting live with porn stars wouldn't be a man I'd want to be around.

Nicolesx Thu 24-May-18 14:18:18

That’s understandable however I have no proof he’s talking to them which I definitely don’t approve of however I believe he must be as why would you want to watch them live when you can just go and watch a video

Storm4star Thu 24-May-18 14:18:53

I think what he is doing trumps your snooping! He is actually interacting with these women. For me personally, it would be a deal breaker. This isn't the same as watching porn. He's paying (I can't see that they're doing it for free!) other women to "perform" for him. However, yes it is your relationship and your decision as to whether it's an issue or not.

Nicolesx Thu 24-May-18 14:20:29

I’ve visited the site myself and you can chat for free you just need to sign up

Morgan12 Thu 24-May-18 14:22:24

Personally I think watching porn is ok but think actually chatting is a step too far. I would be furious.

Adora10 Thu 24-May-18 14:22:41

OP, I'd imagine he is interacting if they are live videos, it's to get them to do more and more stuff, he might also be paying a subscription as I doubt they do tricks for free. Chatting may be free yes.

Storm4star Thu 24-May-18 14:22:53

I think the thing is, you will get a lot of people here saying they wouldn't tolerate it, but you don't seem bothered. That's not a criticism. It's entirely up to you how you feel about it. I just think your unlikely to get many comments saying "yeah that's fine, no problem".

Frosty66612 Thu 24-May-18 14:23:21

Interacting like this would be a deal breaker for me. Watching porn wouldn’t be too much of an issue but if he was actually chatting to them then i’d See that as crossing boundaries big time

Nicolesx Thu 24-May-18 14:24:43

Again I have no proof of this I am assuming he is as I can’t finf any other explanation for wanting to watch live girls instead of porn videos. That’s my other issue the fact he’s watching girls on their own it’s made me feel slightly insecure instead of him getting off on the act of watching porn actors have sex in the vids..

IlikemyTeahot Thu 24-May-18 14:24:53

could they be ads op?
only ask because my partner and I sometimes watch old shows/movies online and these kind of pop ups seem to infest these movie streaming/gaming forum sites. Our history was full of them but from dates times we had been watching the tv shows together.

If not then he's a bit of a mug...these women do this for a profit

ElMarineroBaila Thu 24-May-18 14:25:43

Was there a lot of history on this website? These live chat ones are often pop ups.

Nicolesx Thu 24-May-18 14:26:24

I’m not looking for people to say it’s fine I’m just looking for some different views on it as I’m not sure how I feel as I can’t prove he’s talking to them otherwise then yes it would be a different story and it’s not something I’ll tolerate

Nicolesx Thu 24-May-18 14:27:04

Yes a lot of history on same website just different channels of girls on multiple days

Newerversion Thu 24-May-18 14:28:06

This would ring massive alarm bells for me, watching and chatting to live girls is just a step away from paying for sex. I know that may sound a bit far fetched but believe me it is a very commonly trod route.
Does he have a paypal account?

Nicolesx Thu 24-May-18 14:28:20

Appreciate all the responses keep them coming still intrigued to see what people think

LiitleAce Thu 24-May-18 14:29:41

Usually the feee bit is just a chat and they play flirty etc...
Then you can pay for a private session which means it's just the two individuals on cam to each other. He can make requests etc and she usually obliges or vice versa.

I'm totally okay with porn but the intimacy created in these chat rooms is a bit too close for comfort to me. I know guys who convince themselves they're in a relationship with these actresses and it's a slippery slope...

Adora10 Thu 24-May-18 14:29:43

I think you will struggle to actually find the truth, he will not admit it, he will tell you he merely watches, just like porn.

If it's the same website with the same girls, ideally girls turning tricks, I'd assume he is interacting, as you say, why keep going to that one, there's zillions of free porn vids on the web.

Still don't think he will tell you anyway.

PS: lack of action in the bedroom would not be an excuse I'd accept either.

Nicolesx Thu 24-May-18 14:34:04

They’re different girls each time the website is rampant tv just for some extra info

Nicolesx Thu 24-May-18 14:35:15

I won’t be mentioning anything to him as I don’t want him to become sneaky and start deleting stuff and I will keep having a nose to see if it’s anything more. Whether I should or not I don’t know and don’t care lol can’t help it now I’ve found that out

Storm4star Thu 24-May-18 14:36:12

Ok, the fact that you say "repeatedly" suggests to me he's been going there a lot. If that is the only porn site he's visiting, then yes I think it is likely he's talking to them as otherwise I would expect it to be less often, mixed in with other stuff etc. If he's using mainly that site and going there a lot, I think he's developed a compulsion to that specific type of porn. In which case, yes then I think that could be a big problem. You being pregnant is really not an excuse.

Porn can be a bit like alcohol. Some people can dabble and never have an issue. For others, there can be an escalation. Generic porn becomes too "tame" so people go looking for bigger thrills, and it can go down some very dark paths then.

I personally would talk to him about it. Ok, you were looking on his phone but you can just be honest about that and apologise for snooping if you feel you should. But I would want to get it all out in the open.

Nicolesx Thu 24-May-18 14:46:25

Thanks

MMmomDD Thu 24-May-18 15:07:16

OP - I am with you on porn, although i don’t think that it’s, somehow, more acceptable for women to watch it because we watch is differently from men. (Something you said about admiration...)

As to why a live people are more exciting then recorded videos of porn - it’s also not a mistery. Because it’s happened at the very moment of watching, it’s easier to imagine and fantasise to.
And there aren’t many places where live couples porn is streamed on demand - I presume. (I am sure they exist). While there are a lot of places where women are.

No - as to what i’d do.
Personally i’d leave him to this given that my interest in sex at 39wks was non existent. And him getting by without bothering me would have been welcome. And checked in later when my libido picked up.
(In the end of the day - this is still a made up and superficial interaction - if in fact he is chatting, and not just watching - which is totally possible)

Or, maybe - i’d have mentioned what I saw and said - I am Ok with regular porn - but this other kind is making me uncomfortable.
He may not think it’s a problem for you. Many men won’t see it as different as it’s not really personal and is free.

Nicolesx Thu 24-May-18 15:23:41

Thanks for the explanation on live porn that’s made me understand that aspect a bit more

AgentJohnson Thu 24-May-18 18:01:31

You’re spending far too much time and headspace trying to work out his behaviour and not enough time working through your own. Stop the amateur detective work and extricate you and your son from this mess asap.

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