Regular user but name changed so as not to out myself.
Please don't flame me for this... I'm desperately trying to do the right thing.
Married 6 years, 2 DC under 6, no sex for over 3 years. There's no spark... I don't want him to touch me and he doesn't seem bothered, although he does say he loves and fancies me... But he's really passive and doesn't ever try anything.
I met someone at the beginning of the year who made me feel things I didn't realise I could. Once I realised I couldn't go on living a lie, I told DH that I wanted to separate.
He was devastated, and begged me to stay for the kids and to keep the family together.
We "separated" for a few months, still under the same roof but me on the sofa and spending the occasional night at a friend's or relative. We had some counselling, and agreed to try and give it another go, but the moment I agreed to it, my heart sank and I felt trapped all over again.
I've tried not to see the OM, but I miss him, and he misses me. I tried to block him, delete his number etc, but bumped into him the other day and my heart just exploded (I'm well aware of how cheesy that sounds...! )
So I don't know what to do. DH will be devastated if I leave, and I'm not financially viable to go anywhere - I can't afford the rent and deposit on anywhere, let alone somewhere that the kids can stay. And if I'm the one that leaves then he'll be in a much better place to take custody of the kids.
But do I sacrifice my possible happiness with the OM for the sake of my kids, and live a lie with my DH? I'm completely stuck and could do with some good advice.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Sexless marriage...trapped...think I love another man
StayorLeave · 22/05/2018 16:00
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