I'm posting here for the first time......Im a man....not sure how relevant that is to mention, but thought I should,
I have a real issue with trust with my wife, and Im unsure if I am being unreasonable, or if my wife is being unreasonable. I'm feeling slightly deflated...if not devastated by a lack of trust.....which is why I am seeking impartial advice.
I am a governor at our school. I recently observed some behavior in class which I felt was quite bad.....and was representative of adhd. I mentioned this to my wife in strict confidence....as she knows the mum of the child in question.
I asked my wife to not mention this to anyone...specifically not the parent of the child.
A few days later my wife told me that she had told the parents of the child.....as she thought it was in her best interest. My wife is very good friends with the child's mum.
I feel totally betrayed....as this is the 3rd or 4th time I have asked my wife to keep something private which she has gone on to reveal.
I dont know if I am unfair asking my wife to keep things secret....but on the flip side there are some thing which you feel the need to talk to your partner about....without fearing it is going to leave your own household (I know that sounds selfish).
I recently told my wife about a medical issue which I felt was quite personal, and found she had told a friend.
A while ago I told my wife about a very serious disciplinary issue with a member of staff..I asked her not not to tell anyone else.......and she then told her friend about it (who was also an employee).
I've told my wife other very personal things which she has then told her friends.....who I know.
Am I being unfair to expect if I tell my wife something she she could keep it to herself....? If I raise this topic with my wife she tells me that I am unfair to her for telling her....and that I shouldnt tell her anything which relates to friends.
We live in a small village,,,,,news thavels fast.
Id just be interested to know if I am unfair asking my wife to keep secrets.....is that not the norm in marriage? I want to talk about things....but I want to know that they wont leave our household......it seems such a basic ask.
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Relationships
Unable To Trust Partner
18 replies
hamd01 · 21/05/2018 00:32
OP posts:
Drifting1908 ·
21/05/2018 17:20
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FightorFlight2020 ·
21/05/2018 19:22
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