Would you report ex for this?

[ForgetfulFish]

Ex h and I don't get on. He refuses to co parent or communicate with me.

He sea our 3 young DC eow and drives them 200 miles to his house then back again the next day.

AST weekend he told DS (13) that that he couldn't go on fairground rides with him as he has been diagnosed a heart condition which means he could have a heart attack at any time.

I am mildly concerned that he is driving the dc in the motorway for long journeys and presumably hasn't told the DVLA... I have asked him about it but he refuses to respond.

What should I do?

[Confusedwife84]

Was he maybe just saying that to avoid going on the ride? Or exaggerating the condition he's been diagnosed with? Sounds a little far fetched

[Azadewow]

If you are so concerned about the strenuous trip you should usual with r to do drop off or pick up... But, driving and fairground rides are different. People with heart problems, stroke history, pregnancy etc are not allowed on such rides as it's high risk situation. Maybe he hasn't responded to you cause he thinks your asking is not coming out of concern for his health/safety of the kids, but out of trying to stop him seeing the kids? Not saying you are, just offering an insight

[PatriciaHolm]

It sounds more like an avoidance tactic for going on fairground rides to me...

[ForgetfulFish]

He'd promised DS they could go to Alton Towers for his bday a year ago, DS asked why they couldn't go and Ex said that. He suggested they went somewhere else. Ex loves Alton Towers and that kind of thing so I really don't think he'd lie.

It says on the DVLA website that they need to be informed.

It's very frustrating when ex won't even speak to me about it.

[ForgetfulFish]

He always had strange bubbling sensations in his chest and would go into weird trances for a few seconds. The doctor brushed it off at the time but I'm assuming it's been happening again.

[Azadewow]

Do you know if he has actual heart problems or conditions? If he does, then regardless how minor going on rides can be potentially deadly, especially i it involves rides with high speeds and/or height drops. If this is the first you are hearing of heart issues then maybe he is just avoiding. I wouldn't report to dvla though, driving isless risky for heart issues and what if they take his licence (worse case)? U get stuck with kids not seeing dad, or you doing all the transportation

[VivaKondo]

wouldn't report to dvla though, driving isless risky for heart issues and what if they take his licence (worse case)? U get stuck with kids not seeing dad, or you doing all the transportation
Errrr are you saying that

• you, as a non professional HCP, can make the decision that ‘it’s not so bad’ and ‘not so risky’ even though the DVLA is listing heart problem as something you need to report?
  
• what is important is the fact the consequence for the op (incl the fact she might have to drive all that way) but not the fact he can be a real risk for people around him and his own dcs. What if he has an accident because of that illness and kills someone?
  

OP thé difficulty is that you don’t know if he has or hasn’t a heart condition. Nor do you know how serious it is.
Reporting him would mean they would look and investigate. If he doesn’t have a serious problem (or has no issue at all), then they won’t do anything.
If he does, he will be stopped from driving with all the issues that can come.
But I think you also need to be aware that he might well guess it’s you who reported him and that could make your already strained relationship even more difficult.

Personally, I wouldnt let him take any risk with the lives of my dcs. I would report him just in case.

[Azadewow]

I was just pointing out some consequences of reporting. I still wouldn't report without actually having any knowledge/proof of his health condition. Dvla also want you to report a change of adress, does that mean that you would go report someone if u thought they hadn't declared a change of address?

[ForgetfulFish]

Knowing him, I cannot imagine he'd willingly tell the DVLA if it risked him potentially losing his licence or having restrictions placed on him.

[ForgetfulFish]

I think someone having a medical condition that could potentially kill a lot of people (my dc included) on the motorway is slightly different to a change of address

[Spanglyprincess1]

If your worried for children regarding the drive could you offer to do one of the pick up or drop off?

[CocoaGin]

If he has been diagnosed, surely his GP would have informed DVLA?

[ForgetfulFish]

I don't know how it works

[Azadewow]

From gov website

Car or motorcycle licence
You don’t need to tell DVLA if you’ve had a heart attack (myocardial infarction) or a heart, cardiac or coronary angioplasty.

Only need to report if u drive busses, lorries etc

[sleep5]

Yes, presumably the doctor would inform the DVLA if it was that serious as per their guidance:
www.theguardian.com/society/2015/nov/25/doctors-have-duty-to-inform-dvla-if-patient-is-unfit-to-drive

[Azadewow]

So as I said going on rides more risky than driving....