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DP just did this

(91 Posts)
ShakingAndConfused Sun 13-May-18 01:01:27

I came to bed an hour ago, pretty tipsy from drinking pimms and lemonade all night. I left DP annoyed downstairs as he though we were going to have sex (despite my policy of no sex when drinking). He came upstairs and got into bed. I was on the verge of sleeping. I said sleepily no babe I'm sleeping - more than once. He said he doesn't want sex he just wants to feel. I don't know why but I froze. He had sex with me while I laid there Not responding. He had to have known I was asleep, he can't have imagined I was conscious?! I'm still a bit woozy but lying here wide awake. I pretended to wake up, told him I hadn't agreed to that, that I remembered saying I was sleeping and I made him leave the bedroom.

I know I have to leave. Please don't like tell me that. Tell me HOW. We have 3 DC asleep in their beds. I have no money or access to money. He is downstairs. I need to get through the night here. Please tell me what to do in the morning.

ShakingAndConfused Sun 13-May-18 01:05:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BastardGoDarkly Sun 13-May-18 01:06:03

What a cunt.

Wait until the morning and make a plan I guess.

Do you think he will leave rather than you and the kids?

BastardGoDarkly Sun 13-May-18 01:06:59

Name change fail love, you might want to report that post?

SoWakeUp Sun 13-May-18 01:07:16

Did you mean to name change?

BastardGoDarkly Sun 13-May-18 01:07:43

As for how he could, I've no idea, but it's much too common on here.

I'm so sorry flowers

ShakingAndConfused Sun 13-May-18 01:07:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoWakeUp Sun 13-May-18 01:09:07

Do you have any family close by?

PrizeOik Sun 13-May-18 01:09:09

Oh my love. I can only hold your hand. I am in a different time zone and will be here if you need to chat.

BastardGoDarkly Sun 13-May-18 01:11:05


Have you got family you can stay with? Clear your head?

People much wiser on the financial side will be along in the morning.

Do you think there's any possibility that he thought you were awake and participating?

ShakingAndConfused Sun 13-May-18 01:11:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShakingAndConfused Sun 13-May-18 01:14:50

I don't see how he could have. Honestly I never thought he would do this

category12 Sun 13-May-18 01:15:35

Why don't you have access to money?

ShakingAndConfused Sun 13-May-18 01:16:55

I mean at this moment - couldn't stay elsewhere tonight as couldn't pay for it or borrow it

ShakingAndConfused Sun 13-May-18 01:18:30

All tge family is driving distance away, I've had too much to drink to drive. Although I fell very fucking sober right now

WitchSharkadder Sun 13-May-18 01:21:02

Oh, love. I’m sorry this happened to you.

You are right you need to leave. Why don’t you have any access to money? Can you gather financial documents, bank statements etc? Don’t put yourself at rush getting them, just if they’re to hand.

Is there any family or friends you could stay with tomorrow? If not, contact women’s aid as soon as you can.

Any chance he’s going out for a while tomorrow so you can make calls, formulate a plan?

WitchSharkadder Sun 13-May-18 01:21:35

*at risk.

ShakingAndConfused Sun 13-May-18 01:26:26

He'll be out for a bit tomorrow with my Dad. What do I do though? I cant really stay with family as no one really has space for us. We rent our house jointly. Can I tell him to leave?

ShakingAndConfused Sun 13-May-18 01:27:33

I feel so sick. He's going to say I was too drunk to remember agreeing to sex isn't he?

Littlechocola Sun 13-May-18 01:31:23

You tell him to leave now

Littlechocola Sun 13-May-18 01:31:46

And you call your dad and tell him that tomorrow isn’t happening

Petitepamplemousse Sun 13-May-18 01:33:50

I’m so sorry this happened to you but you don’t NEED to leave or do anything right away. You can take some time to think. Don’t feel pressured.

bottleblue Sun 13-May-18 01:33:53

I'm so sorry to read this. If you were too drunk to remember agreeing you were too drunk to agree. You can call the police although I know that may not at all be what you want to do. You should also be able to get an exclusion order to make him leave instead of you. I agree you can tell him to leave now.

Ginkypig Sun 13-May-18 01:50:42

He can say that all he wants the fact is you remember and not only that you started this thread in the middle of the night not long after it and you described what happened so this is proof to you when he says that!

bottleblue Sun 13-May-18 01:55:38

You could try calling this number - 0808 2000 247 - it's Refuge/ Women's Aid 24 hour line - they might have advice about your financial stuff, and things you need to know about how to leave.

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