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NC (No Contact) Thread #12: Realising our self worth and reclaiming our lives free from fuckwittage

(477 Posts)
LiteraryDevil Sat 12-May-18 14:17:18

A thread for anyone going/maintaining/struggling with/succeeding in going NC with someone for whatever reason. No judgement, just lots of support. All different situations welcome.

Many of us have found www.baggagereclaim.co.uk useful, worth a look for helpful articles and podcasts

LiteraryDevil Sat 12-May-18 16:23:14

Shameless copy and paste from Belonger there blush

Welcome all and here's to emotional freedom from our NCs. Keep up the amazing strength and support we have been showing each other thanks

Babyblue32 Sat 12-May-18 16:31:20

@WheelyCote thanks bub

@meowimacat @pineappleeyes
I know it's not a step back to start, it just feels like it. I knew that messaging him was something I needed to do, and I knew nothing would change with his attitude I'm sorry to go on. It's just I feel annoyed and pissed off.
Like he didn't reply I message and he sends a gif saying have have a great weekend? Then reads another message I caved and sent. I can't stand being ignored especially when I'm trying to be grown up.
That's just it too, I let hope invade me and I thought he would be all like I'm on my way, or he would ring or tell me what I really needed to hear.
I hate it.
I'm sorry to go in. I'm venting. Because I'm the type of person that will text and text and text. I've sent three messages. He read them and never replied so I'm trying really hard to not message and be like you said you loved me? What the actual fuck!

meowimacat Sat 12-May-18 16:43:39

Babyblue32 I know hun, I know. You want answers and you want him to give a damn...and sadly he just doesn't seem to. He is cruel and nasty to dangle hope in front of you when he can be bothered, and clearly his mask has fallen off now. He's not worried about showing who he truly is any more because he got what he wanted. Vent here as much as you like. Sending more messages only shows him that he's got a reaction from you, which he probably loves. Be dignified and rise above it - he doesn't DESERVE your messages. He is not worth it. He is a total tool and we and you know that. You are not alone we all have your back on this.

I just saw my NC on Tinder...he's updated his profile and changed his song, so clearly back on it as I expected. I couldn't swipe him either way so just changed my settings so he disappeared from my feed. Hate himmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Dimael Sat 12-May-18 18:14:40

@Babyblue plenty of space for you in my suitcase!! Seems like you also need a holiday after the head f**k from the NC! Stop messaging him now! You made the effort to open up communication and give him a chance with his child and it’s up to him now to do the right thing. The next and only message you will send is to tell him baby is here and well. No more! Really it’s up to him!!

@Meow again avoid looking for him at all costs online. I realised I had to stop this when I saw his followers had gone up - luckily it was just a fast food place and not some woman! Haha!

I went out and spent a lot of money on a purse - a bit silly but I wanted to treat myself. I might go get a KFC for myself tonight, cannot be bothered cooking for one again!! So lazy of me I know!!

Tictactic Sat 12-May-18 19:23:12

marking my place on the new thread. it's me me and ds today. Been to another museum. I'm lonely sad as I'm sat here tonight I feel disconnected from the world. Like everyone has someone. I'm quite quiet natured. I'm remembering NC telling me how we were going to have to great times together, talked about holidays layer this year and when we were going to tell children on both sides. Then he's gone confused
Sorry for the downer all

LiteraryDevil Sat 12-May-18 20:00:29

Tictactic the loss of the holidays gets to me too and the general loss of all those future plans. I miss our trips away. Don't miss his snoring keeping me awake though!

I've been made to remember how shit it is when blokes don't message you and you're going they will. Not heard from OLD guy at all today which is shit. I can't be doing with it at all. Too much like hard work.

Dimael Sat 12-May-18 20:02:54

@Tictactic We are all allowed our down moments. That was me last night - miss negative Nancy! If I could come round with some wine I would! Yesterday I was seeing couples/families everywhere. But truth is they might look happy but are they? Is it better to be alone than with the wrong man? What looks idyllic is not always.

Babyblue32 Sat 12-May-18 20:30:04

@Dimael make room 😂
Deffo need a holiday, have asked friends if they'd want a long weekend away when little man is about a year old. Long way off, but something to look forward and get body motivated for lol
I've given in a few times and messaged again sad I think it was all little to much.
The NC starts again.

@meowimacat
I know, I just slipped and wanted him to say all the things I wanted, even if he did say them I'd feel better for a bit and then realise it was all lies. That's why when he said some stuff yesterday I didn't believe it. I know he doesn't mean any of it.

Seeing them on OLD is always a hard one. Especially tinder because you can't just ignore it.

I really do valve having you lot to turn vent too, I feel like I owe you all bottle of wine and a takeaway 😂😂

@Tictactic lonely days come and go, the lonely days always bring memories of things they wanted to do and the things they said they would do. In time you'll make those plans and follow through with them, with someone that really does deserve your time.

@LiteraryDevil was going to ask if you've heard anything, you gave him your number right? Some times they don't always contact via phone straight away, they don't want to look eager, but if he has messaged... just give it until tomorrow? See if he says anything

I've cried a lot this evening again sad
I'm in bed already, just want to forget it all.

LiteraryDevil Sat 12-May-18 20:55:19

God I'm irritable today. I have a beer which is helping slightly but my kids are driving me insane today. I haven't had any time to myself since the end of January. Think I moaned about that already the other day blush I view ten minutes to nip to the shop alone a luxury. Makes me all the more mad that NC used to complain and couldn't cope with his 2 kids who he only had for half the year angry Little one is relentless today. I need a break before I crack.

WheelyCote Sat 12-May-18 20:56:04

Marking place

LiteraryDevil Sat 12-May-18 20:59:41

And yes, I'll give OLD til tomorrow then give up. He might be dating others I suppose but only been on the site 5 days he said. I've no patience at all for any messing about.

Dimael Sat 12-May-18 21:03:45

@Babyblue his none response is really getting to you! To be fair it would me and please vent away! We all need this thread to do just that!! Be strong - turn your phone off if you have to!

@literarydevil it is a Saturday so give him until tomorrow to come back to you he might be busy and it’s only talking for now. That’s why I am scared to start dating again because I can’t deal with the waiting around now.

Think we all need a girls night. Wine, takeaway and trash tv!

LiteraryDevil Sat 12-May-18 21:27:06

Dimael yeah I know but the app said he'd been online in the last 24 hours and then changed to online now this morning after I'd sent a message so he knows I've messaged. He does tend to wait a while to reply but I think over 12 hours is taking the piss. His second to last message was to prepare myself for loads of messages from other guys in response to me adding new photos so he must be thinking I have other irons in the fire. Really can't be arsed with the drama of it all. Life's too short.

Dimael Sat 12-May-18 21:42:57

@Literarydevil erghh I would hate that too! Probably best to put him to the back of your mind and forget it. He probably will reply tomorrow but if he has seen that you sent a message and not replied I am not down with that.

pineappleeyes Sat 12-May-18 21:56:32

Place marking.

Hope everyone is getting through the weekend.

I am tempted to do OLD but worried I'll come across NC and it will set me back so laying off it. It's so unfair.

Jenasaurus Sat 12-May-18 22:01:55

abandoning NC for a while, his DM has just died and he needs support, would be unkind not to be there for him atm.

LiteraryDevil Sat 12-May-18 22:18:30

Jen so sorry to hear that. Were you close to her too? Just make sure you still put yourself first thanks

LiteraryDevil Sat 12-May-18 22:33:04

Goodnight all, hope everyone feels brighter tomorrow.

I briefly considered contacting mine today then gave myself a mental slap and remembered all his bad points and how I'm far too good to put up with any of those things. Ugh. Disgusting man really.

Dimael Sun 13-May-18 01:42:03

@Jen unavoidable to break NC for those circumstances and quite rightly!

Goodnight everyone! Not that I can sleep 😂😂

Iwouldmarrythebeast Sun 13-May-18 06:08:41

Jen so sorry to hear.
Literary any contact yet from OLD man yet? If not, get back on the horse and start messaging other men

WheelyCote Sun 13-May-18 08:31:26

This one may have out up before....

Pixikitten0123 Sun 13-May-18 08:42:59

Marking my place here too. Something doesn’t quite add up with my NC. I feel he’s given up on his family far too easily. I know what my gut is telling me, I’m not stupid. Anyhow he should receive my divorce petition this week, he’s asked me to change 3 reasons - I’ve refused so let’s see if he signs/contests it. As far as I’m concerned I’ve done nothing wrong and to be honest I think he thought I’d agree to anything he asked for. It’s not happening. I’m at the stage where even though I have sad moments that there’s no way I’d take him back. He’s treated me and the kids appallingly and there was no need for that. Hugs to those that need them x

Iwouldmarrythebeast Sun 13-May-18 09:03:52

I want to text him this morning. I don’t know if I can stop myself

Dimael Sun 13-May-18 09:11:00

@Iwouldmarrythebeast don’t do itttttt!!!!!! Won’t make you feel better! You are stronger than this!

@Pixi good morning and well done for standing your ground with him! Anyone who can treat their children badly deserves all they get.

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