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Crush ... mutual? Help I feel like a teenager!(10 Posts)
Ok this may read like something from sugar magazine (remember that?!!) but please bear with me! It's all very teenage and tbh that's part of the fun but I also need some friendly advice and/ or someone to tell me to get a grip 😬
Bit of background: I have 2 kids (8 and 5) and spilt with their father around three years ago - we were together 15 years, married for 9 but we'd grown apart. He'd become very complacent and I just wasn't happy so I ended things however we have remained friends (he's now with someone new, she's lovely and we get on well) and co parent very successfully.
I was then with someone else (not super serious) for around 18 months but that ended a few months ago (that's a whooooolllee other thread - cba going into details and it's fairly irrelevant to my current dilemma!)
Anyway a few months ago my sister decided to set me up a dating profile on a website. Mainly as a bit of a joke on a drunken night out and I didn't have any intention of using it. However one bored night I was having a browse and realised I'd unintentionally "matched" - as in we'd both said we wanted to meet - with a dad from school (his girl is one of my girls best friends and his boy is in my boy's class) at this point I assumed he was still with his wife so I was a bit shocked to see him on there (I've known him around 5 years, always chat to either him or his mum in playground etc and get on quite well) but have since found out he actually has spilt from his wife a few months ago.
Anyway it became the elephant in the room for a week or 2. Bit awkward conversation wise, he seemed a bit nervous round me and I didn't realise why at first until I saw the match (think I'd swiped after one too many g&t's!) but at the same time he began liking everything I posted on social media (been friends on fb/insta etc for about 3 years but he's never really interacted with anything I've put on there until this) I decided to diffuse the awkwardness as I didn't want to keep avoiding him (we tend to have the same little circle of playground friends) so I broke the ice and carried on as though nothing had happened and we're now back to chatting away as before.
I'd never really thought of him in that way previously as I just assumed, as you do, that he was happily married but he's good looking/ funny/ easy to chat to and and we do have quite a bit in common. Basically since all this has come about I seem to have developed a small crush on him 🙈 The thing is I can't really tell if the feeling is mutual or if I've created some kind of fantasy here 😂
We chat over text occasionally but only ever regarding kids eg parties/ play dates etc. These conversations used to be very straight and to the point but recently (instigated by him mainly) they've become a little more flirty (well, I say flirty but it could just be friendly???) and he seems to want to keep the conversation going for a bit. A couple of Mums from school have jokingly commented to me how much he likes my pics/ posts on fb but he's not actually making any real moves to say he likes me as any more than a mate?
Honestly, I know how utterly pathetic this all sounds but I haven't actually been single since I was 17 until recently and it's suddenly dawned on me that I haven't a clue how to read the signals!
On top of this he'd shared a jokey post the other day on fb and a woman had commented on it followed with hearts and kisses so now I'm thinking maybe he's dating someone? I don't want to make a tit of myself (although I am VERY GOOD at making a tit of myself 🤔) by trying to push things in that direction if he's seeing someone. Any words of wisdom other than shut up you silly woman you're 36 not 16? 🤦🏼♀️
Just keep being really friendly and flirty enough and be patient to see what comes of it.x
Thanks for replying That's kind of what I'm thinking, suppose I'll just have to stay in the friend zone if nothing happens! 🙄
Crushes are not just for teenagers. Continue as you are and up the enthusiasm. If you become frustrated with the situation be more direct. Good luck
I'm just concerned that I'm mistaking general friendliness with something else and may make a fool of myself so I'll proceed with caution! But thanks for not making me feel stupid ☺️
He’s definitely interested OP. He wouldn’t like you on a dating site just to be friendly. Or facestalk you and like all your stuff.
Up the ante with the flirting I reckon.
Thatcherscold do you reckon? I deleted my dating profile after a couple of weeks (it became an annoying distraction and I ended up offending half the male population) So not sure if he's still on there or not but I suppose I have nothing to lose...... apart from all my dignity .......but I think dignity's overrated anyway 👀
I shall up the flirting as much as playground politics allow and see if I can get any feel for whether he's taken.
I get on with his ex wife quite well too when she's around although she rarely does the school run ... maybe i could ask her🤔😂
Dont ask her.
And let him do the hard work. Dont make a fool of yourself.
Ferriswheel ... the part about his ex wife was a joke don't worry!
I'm happy to see how things go, mainly just wanted peoples take on whether I was being ridiculous or not
Update: he's definitely seeing someone
Not gonna lie I'm a bit gutted cos I did think there was something there but maybe I'm imagining it. Ahhhh well
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