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He’s just not that into me, is he?

(104 Posts)
CandiedPeach Thu 26-Apr-18 17:56:06

Went on a date with a guy last week, we got on really well seemed to have a connection and enjoyed a rather nice kiss at the end of the night.

Anyway the few days afterwards quite a bit of messaging (mostly started from him) then he said he was really busy over the weekend and that he’d message Monday or Tuesday and would I like to do something next weekend (so this weekend coming).
Then nothing.......

Really not looking for anything serious but still my egos a bit dented as I thought he was quite into me and I was quite looking forward to seeing him again.

FluffyWhiteTowels Thu 26-Apr-18 18:21:45

You could message him about the weekend and ask if he still wants to meet up?

halfwitpicker Thu 26-Apr-18 18:23:26

Sorry but no, I don't think he is.

IamHappy1976 Thu 26-Apr-18 18:29:29

There could be a 101 reasons why he's been busy. In his head you might already have agreed to "something". But i wouldn't be hanging about. Make your plans as normal and if he does suggest something and you're free, cool. "That's great, I'm doing x and then I can see you". If you're busy, "I'm so sorry. You didn't mention a day/time. Maybe Tuesday evening?" (Be specific!). Either way, go about your life! It's too short too um and ah waiting.

something2say Thu 26-Apr-18 18:52:35

It is a shame yes and I'd say that no, if he hasn't bitten your arm off, he may not be that bothered about you. But to be fair, in your OP you also seemed a bit meh? Why not keep looking?

CandiedPeach Thu 26-Apr-18 19:17:58

I don’t want to message him *Fluffy *as I’d messaged him and that’s when he’d said he was really busy and he’d get back to me Monday or Tuesday. So I think it’s firmly in his court now.

I’m definitely not waiting around IamHappy and he already knew I was only possibly free on Friday, so even if he messaged now or tomorrow he can’t really be that bothered, can he?

He has commented on a photo I put on instagram yesterday though confused

I like him something but only as a casual short term thing. We got on and had a laugh and I’m definitely attracted to him, but don’t see him as a potential long term thing.
But that would suit me just fine right now.

CandiedPeach Thu 26-Apr-18 19:22:09

And I got the impression he felt the same. But I’m thinking maybe I read it wrong.

FailingTheBoyfriendExam Thu 26-Apr-18 19:22:30

The irony is, if you told him you liked him as a casual short term thing, you're attracted to him but don't want a long term thing - I suspect he'd suddenly get less busy......

CandiedPeach Thu 26-Apr-18 19:33:17

The irony is that I did Failing pretty much anyway. Which is probably what stings the most, it feels like it’s just that he didn’t really get on with me or he’s not really attracted to me. It just felt differently, but never mind.

Justmuddlingalong Thu 26-Apr-18 19:36:07

You could be out dating this weekend. It doesn't have to be with him.

CandiedPeach Thu 26-Apr-18 19:36:30

But then he’s commented on my photo but not sent a message since last Friday.

Justmuddlingalong Thu 26-Apr-18 19:40:15

He's keeping his options open. Is that all you think you're worth? You've had 1 date, so don't waste any more headspace on him.

ScreamingValenta Thu 26-Apr-18 19:40:33

Instincts are usually correct in these situations. My guess would be that he's keeping his options open and going on other dates.

FailingTheBoyfriendExam Thu 26-Apr-18 19:46:49

Ok, then if you told him that it could simply be that he wants more from a relationship. When I was on a dating site I was looking for a relationship. A casual relationship - even with an attractive girl - would have complicated that. So in all honesty I probably would have come the same thing, although it wouldn't have been a reflection on the girl.

CandiedPeach Thu 26-Apr-18 20:19:46

That’s what I was thinking Justmuddling and Screaming.
But.....he’s just messaged ‘are you still on for tomorrow? Was thinking we could get something to eat and a few drinks’.
Still nothing for 6 days and he messages the day before. I guess he could have lost track of days and just realised it’s Friday tomorrow and we’ve not sorted anything or I’m his second or third option and the others are busy.

Not really sure what to do!

CandiedPeach Thu 26-Apr-18 20:22:51

I don’t think it’s that at all Failing. I got the sense he’d be happy with casual. And maybe this is just what casual is?

CharlotteCollinsneeLucas Thu 26-Apr-18 20:24:43

Aren't you giving him rather a lot of thought for someone you just see as a potential bit of fun?

Justmuddlingalong Thu 26-Apr-18 20:25:53

He didn't lose track of time since last Friday. He liked your photo yesterday just to keep you interested. Not messaging for nigh on a week is lazy. Why messages, and not phone calls?

Aridane Thu 26-Apr-18 20:26:06

Go,for the drinks!

Aridane Thu 26-Apr-18 20:26:37

Have a bit f casual fun and stop over thinking

Justmuddlingalong Thu 26-Apr-18 20:28:15

...And don't be led by your ego. That way you'll put up with less bullshit.

CandiedPeach Thu 26-Apr-18 20:30:54

Ha probably Charlotte but I only want fun with someone I also get on with as well as the attraction and we just seemed to have that. Good conversation, common interests and same sense of humour.

I’m not wanting a serous relationship but I’m not looking for just a hook up either.

NC4Now Thu 26-Apr-18 20:34:03

I don’t fully understand modern dating etiquette (I sound like my nan) but if you aren’t exclusive maybe he’s got other dates? Is that acceptable these days? Or to you?
I wouldn’t like it, but I’m old fashioned like that.

CandiedPeach Thu 26-Apr-18 20:35:48

He commented on the photo today Justmuddling he sent a follow up text saying he’s been really busy so sorry he’s not been in touch earlier.
I tend to message most people not call.

CandiedPeach Thu 26-Apr-18 20:39:39

I think it’s generally acceptable until you’ve had the exclusive chat NC4. I haven’t dated much though and despite all my friends saying it’s the norm (I’m early 20’s) I don’t like the idea of dating multiple people at the same time.

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