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To give the ring back or not?

(41 Posts)
jessicasmummy04 Wed 25-Apr-18 21:57:22

My ex wants my engagement ring back bit I really want to keep it. I know he's be furious if I did and has TOLD me in no uncertain words he wants it back but I'm just not ready to give it up..

FailingTheBoyfriendExam Wed 25-Apr-18 22:00:11

Why? Apparently you don't want a future with him.

Angharad07 Wed 25-Apr-18 22:00:12

If he gave it to you the it’s a gift. Traditionally, even if the marriage doesn’t go ahead then the woman keeps the ring. He shouldn’t have given it to you in he first place if he wanted it back.

jessicasmummy04 Wed 25-Apr-18 22:01:29

I do want a future with him but he's broke off the engagement because I didn't say sorry after I made a joke that pissed him off..

category12 Wed 25-Apr-18 22:01:33

If it's a ring that was his granny's or something, then giving it back would be the right thing to do. If it's one he bought for you, then keep it.

NC4Now Wed 25-Apr-18 22:02:39

@category12 said what I was about to

NC4Now Wed 25-Apr-18 22:03:04

And it sounds like you’ve had a lucky escape....

jessicasmummy04 Wed 25-Apr-18 22:03:05

If it was an family ring I'd 100% give it back but it's not.. it was brought for me.. it's not worth much but I want to keep it...

BennyTheBall Wed 25-Apr-18 22:03:12

I think you should give it back.

UndomesticHousewife Wed 25-Apr-18 22:03:44

You should throw it at him and run away.

MyKingdomForBrie Wed 25-Apr-18 22:03:52

Well I’d keep it but technically you shouldn’t I don’t think - it’s a conditional gift and the condition (marriage) hasn’t been fulfilled.

greendale17 Wed 25-Apr-18 22:07:30

Have some decency and self respect and give the ring back.

category12 Wed 25-Apr-18 22:08:19

Keep it then as it's not an heirloom.

Also, because he called off the engagement, he forfeits the ring. If it was the other way round, giving back the ring or flinging it in his face is the thing to do.

Sounds like you're dodging a bullet.

kissthealderman Wed 25-Apr-18 22:09:32

Judge Judy always makes women return it. grin

2anddone Wed 25-Apr-18 22:12:25

Never give back the jewellery (unless it's a family heirloom) it's a gift. He gave it to you it's yours to do what you want with (mine went towards holiday spending money wink)

Gemini69 Wed 25-Apr-18 22:15:22

He called it off... Keep the Ring flowers

lifebegins50 Wed 25-Apr-18 22:51:29

Sometimes its better to cut your losses, don't let this become a power struggle.

It all emotional now but in a few months you are likely to look at the ring and wonder what to do with it.

pinkdelight Wed 25-Apr-18 22:52:50

I'm with Judge Judy on this. It's given in contemplation of marriage. If that marriage doesn't happen, for whatever reason, it goes back to the guy. It's not a gift and if you're not marrying him give it back. Mind you I don't understand women going nuts over engagement rings anyway. If you've split up why on earth would you want a ring to remind you of it. It's not what's important. Be glad you didn't marry him and buy yourself a ring if you want one.

BMW6 Wed 25-Apr-18 22:55:16

I'm with Judge Judy on this issue.
An Engagement ring is given in expectation of Marriage, so if the Marriage is not to proceed then the ring should go back to the giver.

You should give it back.

Dimael Wed 25-Apr-18 23:03:23

When my first ex and I split up I offered him the ring back as it was the decent thing to do. He then said no you keep it. Maybe if you offered it him he will be surprised and let you keep it.

SandyY2K Wed 25-Apr-18 23:04:13

Give it back to him and be done with the relationship. If he's breaking an engagement because your joke pissed him off, then do you really need a constant reminder of the relationship.

Buy yourself a similar ring if you like it that much.

It can't be worth the hassle.

jessicasmummy04 Wed 25-Apr-18 23:17:31

You are right.. I guess I'm just not ready to face up to the break up yet.. It's my daughter's birthday party Saturday I'll be seeing alot of my friends if I take the ring off they will notice and I'm not ready to tell anyone... I'm sure most will be pleased anyway!

blossomy Wed 25-Apr-18 23:23:27

“it’s a conditional gift and the condition (marriage) hasn’t been fulfilled.”

That’s not how/why engagement rings came to be.

Traditionally, OP, you are supposed to keep the ring in this instance... I would smile

TinyPawz Wed 25-Apr-18 23:26:50

No way would I give the ring back. But I am a stubborn witch

Angelf1sh Thu 26-Apr-18 00:47:52

It’s your ring as a matter of law if you’re in the uk. You don’t have to give it back if it’s not a family heirloom (you do have to if it is). It doesn’t matter who ended it, it’s still yours, but as a matter of manners he’s a total shit to dump you and then demand it back. If I were you I’d sell it and use the money to treat yourself.

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