Weird situation with friend

[LittleMissedTheSunshine]

I met Friend B through Friend A. I've known Friend A for quite a long time and used to be very close although more recently we haven't been quite as close although i'd say we were still friends. Friends A and B don't live locally but I have gone to visit them on several occasions over the past 3 years.

I went to stay with Friend B and ended up falling out. I was accused of doing something I hadn't done and Friend B ended up shouting at me in quite an abusive way. I left her house decided not to continue being friends and have had no further contact apart from a few text messages where I was clear that the friendship was no more. B didn't apologise in any way just tried to blame me for everything so I decided I didn't want to be friends.

Friend A was aware of the fall out and offered me a place to stay at hers when I left Friend B's house. I told Friend A what had happened but knowing she was friends with B I didn't involve her too much.

After I'd returned home I started to get strange messages from A saying to leave B alone despite the fact that B was sending me messages herself, not particularly nice ones. I said to A can you tell her to leave ME alone and A then didn't want to speak further so I thought I'd leave it a while to blow over.

A couple of months later and A is not speaking to me, or responding to any messages. I literally have no idea why! I can only assume that B has told her some shit that isn't true to make A turn against me. I just think it's strange that A can turn her back on a longstanding friendship without any sort of explanation or wanting to put whatever B has said to me to see my side.

I know no one has a right to anyone's friendship and it all feels pretty dysfunctional so I'm better off out but I just feel like I need closure and I'm not going to get it.

Being ignored like this when I don't know why is terribly frustrating and I would never turn my back on someone like this without some sort of explanation. I think B must have told A some whoppers, what do you think?

[ChickenMom]

I think you’re right. Why not write her a letter explaining everything that happened. At least you’ve then done everything you can

[SnowGoArea]

Assuming is a right/wrong sort of a thing rather than something where opinion/perspective plays a part, then it sounds like B may well have lied.

I'm not sure about writing a letter as it may feel like another big kick in the teeth if you lay yourself bare like that and hear nothing. You'd be waiting a long time with it on your mind before you could be sure that enough time had passed to forget about it (at least I would). But maybe it would be cathartic. And it's clearly playing on your mind now... Hmm, I'm not sure!

If you did, I'd be careful not to make the tone blamey of A. Maybe a 'sad to lose the friendship but understand what a difficult position you're in' tone would be right.

Sounds rotten for you though

[LittleMissedTheSunshine]

I did text A the other day to say I don't understand why we're not talking very sad way to end a friendship of 13 years, did you believe everything B told you?

I'm so angry with her for not having the decency to put the lies to me to at least hear my take on it, and then just cutting me off like this.

I was talking to my counseller about whether its worse to be shouted at (like B did) or ignored (like A is) and the counseller reckoned being ignored is worst. I wasn't sure at first. as shouting seems so violent, but at least then there's a dialogue and you understand where you are even if you don't agree with the other person. Radio silence is just awful.

I have been thinking today that I'm better off with them both out of my life and whilst it hurts, at least I know I won't have to put up with this poor treatment from them again.

Why are people so cruel sometimes?

[fcekinghell]

why were you staying with B and then A? I'm sure this is relevant? Perhaps it was felt you were taking the P*ss, not helping around the house, over staying your welcome, not contributing etc.

[LittleMissedTheSunshine]

Couldn't stay with A as she had moved into her boyfriends recently and didn't want to impose on him.

[LittleMissedTheSunshine]

But when the fall out with B happened, A let me stay there as an emergency situation as my train home was not until the next day.

[fcekinghell]

but why were you staying with B in the first place? I suspect that's the reason - you may have been taking the p*ss. Without further information, we can't help and we get bored of the thread.