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DP says I dress like an old lady!

(82 Posts)
ironbrew Sat 21-Apr-18 11:29:19

Help! I need some dress advice!

DP says I dress like an OAP - I dont - but does anyone know where the good dresses are these days? Im a slim size 10. Any suggestions??

AttilaTheMeerkat Sat 21-Apr-18 11:34:44

Its not a change of dress you need, it is a new DP. Why are you with this person who puts your own self down like this?. He probably does not look or dress like an Adonis himself.

AuntieStella Sat 21-Apr-18 11:35:22

If you want clothes advice, I suggest you repost in the 'Style and Beauty' topic, stating what sorts of things you are looking for to update your look. Be aware that suggesting that only certain ages wear certain stuff will probably get you short shrift there. So decide what you actually want in a makeover, and ask for that without preconceptions about age.

From the relationship POV, this doesn't sound great. OK it's fair enough to have a view on appearance, but kind and tactful partners would express it in term of saying what looks terrific and hoping the other person gets the hint. Asking for change is always high risk, as are making changes that you might not have considered other than the trivial.

The way DP's put it is unkind. Are they unkind in other way too?

shitwithsugaron Sat 21-Apr-18 11:37:54

Is your 'D'P this man? If not, he has no business criticising you!

Ryder63 Sat 21-Apr-18 11:39:37

Dress to please YOU not anyone else! if DP doesn't like the way you dress, get a new DP who does! grin

Ryder63 Sat 21-Apr-18 11:41:51

Shitwith how come you have a pic of my current bf? angry grin

Sn0tnose Sat 21-Apr-18 11:43:36

Who died and made him Gok Wan?

Before you go changing anything about yourself, I think you need to have a sit down and a think about whether there are any other areas where he puts you down and belittles you. The fact that you've chosen to post in relationships rather than style suggests that there might be.

If not, and he's just being a little bit of a twat in this area only, then put your purse away. If it's okay for him to critique your appearance, then clearly it's a free for all. Tell him you've made an appointment at a barbers for him and that you want him to join a gym. Make him an appointment with a personal shopper and give him a leaflet about teeth whitening.

Blaablaablaa Sat 21-Apr-18 11:49:40

I had one of those...a DH who had an extremely strong opinion on what wore. It then seeped into how much I weighed, what i ate, how my hair looked , how often I went out......

It's not a healthy way to live. I'm still dealing with the self esteem issues 5 years on.

JaneJeffer Sat 21-Apr-18 11:50:02

Tell him to fuck off. The cheek.

c75kp0r Sat 21-Apr-18 11:51:06

Own it. I dress like an old lady... I just try to be a fabulous one. Probs dont suceed on the fabulous bit, but what’s wrong with wearing what you like?

Guiltypleasures001 Sat 21-Apr-18 11:52:43

It's a bit of a sweeping statement op

Maybe you could expand on what he meant? What does he see as old looking?

Snog Sat 21-Apr-18 11:54:28

How old actually are you?

DarkPeakScouter Sat 21-Apr-18 11:56:56

Do YOU like the way you dress? Then, unless he’s looking to pinch frocks out of your closet, I can’t see what your personal style has to do with him.

AnnieOH1 Sat 21-Apr-18 12:01:17

Is it that you're wearing

A) more modest clothing where he would prefer something a bit shorter (because that what he finds sexy)?

B) normal clothing but he wants you to dress like a hooker?

C) ultra modest clothing for religious or body issue reasons (so like dresses to ankles, high necks and long sleeves with no shape)

D) something from Mrs Doubtfire's wardrobe?

PinkSkyAtNightAngelDelight Sat 21-Apr-18 12:03:08

Why does he think that?

DumbleDee Sat 21-Apr-18 12:05:03

@shitwithsugaron smilegrinsmile

SpringNowPlease2018 Sat 21-Apr-18 12:07:26

not his business how you choose to dress.

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom Sat 21-Apr-18 12:08:40

What is it you are wearing for him to say that & also is he Gok?
If you are happy in how you look then tell him to fuck off.
If he isn't Gok, tell him to fuck off.
If you do want a fashion overhaul then I suggest a post in Style & Beauty.

Scribblegirl Sat 21-Apr-18 12:08:41

This is a running joke between DH and I because I'm quite into vintage stuff and he reckons some of my dresses look like his nan's curtains grin that's normal banter for us though and I certainly give as good as I get. Your DPs comments sound hurtful. How do you feel about the way you dress?

justanotheruser18 Sat 21-Apr-18 12:09:43

You dress however you like. How dare your partner make you feel like you need to change your wardrobe.

tishhope Sat 21-Apr-18 12:10:04

I wish I was size 10.

I do remember years ago when I never had much money, I bought a new dress and I was enjoying walking along the road wearing it when I spotted this elderly woman walking towards me wearing the identical dress! Put me right off.

But yes, you wear what you want to wear, OP.

montenotte Sat 21-Apr-18 12:10:53

get yourself on pinterest and choose some "looks" you like and go from there.

jigsaw, whistles great for easy to wear dresses (tho not easy on the wallet, suggest your dp takes you shopping)

montenotte Sat 21-Apr-18 12:11:35

i had a dress i loved
then GAIL BLOODY PLATT had it on in corrie.

ArcheryAnnie Sat 21-Apr-18 12:11:50

I can say with my hand on my heart that one of the nicest side-effects of my divorce was taking a big bag of clothes I hated, but which I'd bought to try and appease my ex's idea of the way he thought I "should" dress, down to oxfam. I am so much happier, I dress how I bloody well like now, and I am in retrospect also horrified at the thought that I'd lost myself so much in that relationship that I paid so much attention to this kind of controlling fuckery from him. (And I also recognise that it's not my fault, as this is how emotional abuse works.)

Wear what you like, OP.

blueskyinmarch Sat 21-Apr-18 12:15:04

Do YOU think you dress like an old lady? Describe your style?

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