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Can flowers say "sorry for being a shit friend"?

(9 Posts)
GavinStrong Fri 13-Apr-18 16:06:49

My friend's mum ied late last year.

She mentioned it in a message on FB (that's how we keep in touch) and I said I was sorry to hear it and we should get together soon.

However, we couldn't find a date so new year came and went.

She messaged me and asked if I wanted to meet up for lunch. Work was completely manic for me and I've had almost no free time between new year and now so I basically said I'd let her know.

I didn't get back in touch with her until last week. I apologised for being a shit friend and not being there when her mum died.

Anyway, now we're meeting in a couple of weeks for coffee. Would it be naff and rubbish and too-little-too-late to take her a bunch of flowers?

BabyBooDue Fri 13-Apr-18 16:08:24

I think it would be nice to take some flowers, and probably also to acknowledge that you feel like you should have been there more for her smile no dig from me there, I'm terrible for being one of those people whose life just gets in the way! And then feeling guilty for neglecting people afterwards.

privateporcupine Fri 13-Apr-18 17:52:57

Of course they can, as can just saying so, and not trying to skirt around the fact. She’s still meeting up with you, so she obviously wants to and isn’t holding a grudge. Don’t be so hard on yourself. flowers for you!

Goosegrass Fri 13-Apr-18 17:58:55

Do it. Definitely. But in some lovely cheerful colours. Her house may well have been full of those white interflora bunches at the time and it might remind her of that!

BackToTheUsual Fri 13-Apr-18 17:59:47

Yes it’s fine.

pompomcat Fri 13-Apr-18 18:03:52

That's a nice gesture OP. Hope your meetup goes well.

ADarkandStormyKnight Fri 13-Apr-18 18:09:52

Don't be too hard on yourself. People often get loads of support in the first few days and weeks after a bereavement and then it dwindles. The main thing is to be fully present for her now. Find out what she needs and try to follow up with something that helps eg a bit of company or diversion, or help sorting out practical stuff. Remember that there will be difficult anniversaries ahead and things like sorting out her effects and probate, or family niggles, which can be very draining for someone also dealing with loss. You sound like a lovely friend.

GavinStrong Mon 16-Apr-18 11:59:26

Thanks everyone. I will most definitely get her some bright, sunny flowers and an offer of help with whatever she needs now


guitarlady Fri 20-Apr-18 21:58:27

Flowers would be a lovely gesture. Agree with other posters - don't be too hard on yourself. Sometimes life just gets in the way! I often don't get to see or talk to my best mate for months because you blink and the weeks have flown by, especially when you are busy. You have already apologised for not being there when her mum died, so I'd start with a big hug and say it again at the beginning - you are sorry you weren't able to be there for her, but that you are here now and then follow up your meeting with a call or text to say how lovely it was to see her.

You sound like a good (albeit busy!) friend!

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