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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

It's starting to hurt now

28 replies

Puddingmama2017 · 23/03/2018 20:14

My partner walked out this afternoon after packing a bag. I was so angry at first but now it's starting to hurt.

There's been no contact so I don't want to message him. Need some help to be strong.

OP posts:

Report

Puddingmama2017 · 23/03/2018 20:15

Sorry posted in the wrong place. 😫

OP posts:

PeonyTruffle · 23/03/2018 20:15

What happened OP? x

VladmirsPoutine · 23/03/2018 20:17

Do you want to report to have this moved to Relationships?

Are you able to tell us more about what happened?

Parentingissotough · 23/03/2018 20:17

It doesn’t matter where you post. You know what’s right for you. If you don’t want to contact him then dont. Distract yourself. Can you speak to a friend / relative? Can someone come and be with you? Do you have a favourite film you can put on? Anything to stop you thinking about it.

Puddingmama2017 · 23/03/2018 20:35

He's been awful anyway but still.

I was trying to discuss the issues we had with him and he just stormed upstairs and packed his bag.

OP posts:

PrettyLittIeThing · 23/03/2018 20:35

How long were you together? Any DC? Ask this to be moved to relationships if you didn't mean to post on aibu.

NurseP · 23/03/2018 20:38

Is separation what you want? If so then this could be for the best If he is awful to you and behaves like this!

Puddingmama2017 · 23/03/2018 20:42

3 years, 1 DC.

I think it is. I just hate how he plays tricks with me. As soon as I tried to talk to him he said 'oh yes, I'm so selfish, well if I'm that selfish then I should just go as I don't make you happy' and went and packed.

OP posts:

Mxyzptlk · 23/03/2018 20:50

Sounds like he is pretty selfish. He probably expects you to beg him to come back.
Try to distract yourself and let your brain get used to the new situation.

Puddingmama2017 · 23/03/2018 20:54

Just feel so lonely, but truthfully I've been lonely a long time.

OP posts:

speakout · 23/03/2018 21:03

Another woman?

VladmirsPoutine · 23/03/2018 21:18

How old is dc? It's still all very raw. You say it happened just this afternoon. Your emotions will be all over the place.

But what do you want to come of this? Would you want him back and try to work on things or are you going to move on and let him go?

How entangled are you? Marriage, mortgage? That sort of thing.

dirtybadger · 23/03/2018 21:42

Lock the door and leave the key in 😠

Karigan1 · 23/03/2018 21:46

It may hurt now but a bet in time you’ll find someone better. Chin up shoulders back and fake it until you make it 💐

Puddingmama2017 · 24/03/2018 05:45

Dc is 10 months. No marriage or mortgage. A clean break.

Not heard anything.

OP posts:

LML83 · 24/03/2018 05:48

Must be hard OP. This is the hardest part though it will get easier.

Puddingmama2017 · 24/03/2018 06:04

I really hope so. It's hurting so much right now. I can't believe he's doing this.

OP posts:

Mouseville65 · 24/03/2018 08:07

Morning OP, how are you feeling?

WowLookAtYou · 24/03/2018 08:27

Sounds like he was looking for an excuse to leave. What you've related seems a pretty flimsy reason to go, and it does seem to be the case (judging from the many, many threads on here) that men in particular, don't tend to leave established relationships unless they've somewhere/someone to go to.

for you

eve34 · 24/03/2018 08:53

Hope you managed to stay strong. Wait for him to make contact. He will regret his decision when reality starts to kick in. I am sure you made Life very comfortable for him.
You can then decide if and how you move forward.

Puddingmama2017 · 24/03/2018 10:34

Feeling like shite. I've let people know he's not here.

He was in the pub last night and presumably went to a mates last night, though I can't be sure. I have a horrible feeling there's someone else.

OP posts:

Tatiannatomasina · 24/03/2018 10:53

Look after yourself, its a bloody big shock to the system.Do you have anyone you can talk to?

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Puddingmama2017 · 24/03/2018 11:04

Yes, sort of.

Only neutral people though.

Just so angry.

OP posts:

eve34 · 24/03/2018 11:27

I know how hard this is. If you can hold your nerve he will be wondering about you sooner or later.

So sorry you are in this position it is shit. Lean on people they will want to be there for you. Look after yourself and just take it as it comes xx

LeChatDeNuit · 24/03/2018 11:29

“well if I'm that selfish then I should just go as I don't make you happy' and went and packed.”

Is your partner my ex?! He was always saying things like this during a row before dramatically throwing his things into a bag and storming out. “Well obviously I’m just a horrible person then! I’m off.”

Does he say these sorts of things regularly? Has he threatened to leave before?

I agree, don’t make contact. It’s what he wants.

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