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Boyfriend's female friends of facebook... would you contact them?

(136 Posts)
catbasilio Tue 20-Mar-18 16:28:30

Would you contact a boyfriend's female 'friend' on facebook if the number of increased likes between them would start to bother you?
I do have some worries that my boyfriend might be a bit of a player, but have no hard evidence. It is not really a friend - it is an ex of his male friend, he said she befriended him (I somehow think it might be opposite) few months ago, to my knowledge they have never met, but she started instantly liking his posts and he likes hers (see that from few public posts).

I just want to ask, if there is something, as his girlfriend, I need to know, as I might be worrying over nothing.

There is a lot of dignity to swallow.
I had contacted one of his FB "friends" in the past and he appeared to be seeking slightly inappropriate flirt although it was early days in our relationship. Some other female friends, including one of his ex, seem ok and nothing to worry about it.

SnipSnipMrBurgess Tue 20-Mar-18 16:30:12

Oh ffs. No you shouldn't do that. If you think he is cheating, talk to HIM and if you can't trust him, dump him. You don't need evidence or a reason to dump and meet someone better.

Aprilmightmemynewname Tue 20-Mar-18 16:30:48

Surely you should speak to your bf? If she is after him she is hardly going to be honest with you is she?

OnionKnight Tue 20-Mar-18 16:31:29

No, that'd be batshit.

Talk to your boyfriend if you are that concerned.

Teacuphiccup Tue 20-Mar-18 16:32:20

I have Facebook friends who are Male who I like and comment on their statuses and I’m not having an affair.
Please don’t contact her, speak to him.

restingbemusedface Tue 20-Mar-18 16:32:26


PrizeOik Tue 20-Mar-18 16:32:55

Please have some dignity. If you don't trust your boyfriend, deal with that directly, don't drag some poor woman into the drama.

NotTakenUsername Tue 20-Mar-18 16:33:37

Yea. This sounds like the sort of relationship built to stand the test of time...

it doesn’t

waterlego Tue 20-Mar-18 16:34:18

No. That would make you seem a bit unhinged. Do you have any reason not to trust him?

Chasingstars88 Tue 20-Mar-18 16:35:36

They're both disrespectful but she or he clearly don't care.
The only person you should speak to is him.
If you aren't happy about the way he carries on leave him.

catbasilio Tue 20-Mar-18 16:35:45

Yes I do have a reason not to trust him. He did similar thing in the past and admitted it was wrong. I am worried this might happened again.

RavenclawRealist Tue 20-Mar-18 16:35:54

No speak to your boyfriend! If you can't trust him leave him, your relationship seems to have massive trusts issues that yes you need to work on if you want to stay together but there is no need to contact this women!

FlyingMonkeys Tue 20-Mar-18 16:35:56

At best she'll think you're insecure. At worst she'll be massively offended and contact your bf to inform him you've asked her.

ShatnersWig Tue 20-Mar-18 16:36:29

How old are you both?

catbasilio Tue 20-Mar-18 16:36:55

Clear consensus then..

Qvar Tue 20-Mar-18 16:37:56

Don't act like a crazy person

dirtybadger Tue 20-Mar-18 16:38:05

Speak to him. Leave her out of it. She might like everything that pops up on her feed for all you know.

PrizeOik Tue 20-Mar-18 16:38:44

I am worried this might happened again.

Then the answer is really, REALLY not to contact a woman on facebook about her liking his pics.

Think about it.
Your problem is that you don't trust your bf.
Is the solution talking to some woman about it?

Try to think about what you could do that would actually solve the problem

AnyFucker Tue 20-Mar-18 16:38:46

What is the actual point of being in a relationship with him ?

Zeelove Tue 20-Mar-18 16:39:09

Oh please don't degrade yourself by doing that. If you don't trust him, chuck him. Gut is usually right.

MammaH2018 Tue 20-Mar-18 16:40:13

For the love of god! Get a grip. If you have worries or concerns that your boyfriend is being unfaithful then you need to talk to him about this, not contacting some girl over Facebook and dragging her into this. She hasn’t done anything wrong.

BerylStreep Tue 20-Mar-18 16:40:24

only if I wanted to look completely crazy.

You don't trust him, that's the bottom line. Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone you don't trust? As a pp said, you don't need to have hard evidence to end a relationship.

Whether the lack of trust is down to him being untrustworthy, or if it is down to your lack of self esteem is irrelevant really.

Please don't start contacting female friends. You will look completely unhinged.

Zeelove Tue 20-Mar-18 16:43:55

I liked this guys post the other day ( football related - we both support the same team). Have absolutely zero interest in this guy. His girlfriend who I've never met or heard of before added me straight away as a friend. I cringed inside. There was no other need to add me other than to see who this girl was liking her boyfriends post. I'd hate to be that insecure.

FlyingMonkeys Tue 20-Mar-18 16:45:40

Also 'liking' doesn't mean squat. If he'd been posting 'I think your boobs look great in that bikini'. Then yes you may want to bring that up with him.

catbasilio Tue 20-Mar-18 16:45:59

The thing is, that if I ask him outright he and if he lies, I would never know. He is too good with words.
But I see now that is better to leave her out. If anything’s going on it would be only Facebook/phone etc. He tends to woo women with his compliments. With old female friends is all matey. As I said before, he did something inappropriate before and I can’t seem to understand whether he is a well masked player, or not.

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