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Am I overreacting about H'd behaviour?

(58 Posts)
DancerPrancers Sat 17-Mar-18 14:43:04

DH is in an absolute twist about me eating chicken. He's a vegetarian, before we married I agreed to be one too. I ate chicken last week. He found out and isn't happy. I didn't tell him because I knew this would be his reaction but more of that later

He was clipping DS's nails because they're too long and needed doing. All well and good. DS isn't a fan of having his hands held and naturally started crying about it whilst DH was on the last nail.

I said please stop, he's upset. He said no, I've one more nail to do. All over within seconds but then he came up to DS's face in a kind of 'mock smile' and said "you're a wimp"

I said he's a small 4 month old child, wtf are you on about. He said "Well it's true" and then to smiley DS "stupid baby".

I said to DS, you're not stupid you're clever!

And H said "Yeah? If he was so clever then why's he so small?"

(DS is smallish for his age, but very healthy and happy). DH can't understand why he's so small because he's 6'3 and all the babies in his family are giants

Am I overreacting? Is my 'mummy mode' going into overdrive? I can't decide.

He's just gone to town and I feel raging. No idea why he's being this way towards DS.
He's been funny with me all morning.

I'm taken aback. He's never done a thing like this, it's so out of character. All because I've decided to eat chicken again shock

notapizzaeater Sat 17-Mar-18 14:46:05

Who is he to decide what you eat? You're an adult so responsible for your own choices.

The fact he sulking day slater and taking it out on your baby would have me out the door.

AJPTaylor Sat 17-Mar-18 14:48:44

odd if he has suddenly started being like this. is it totally out of character?

Eastersnake Sat 17-Mar-18 14:49:52

What a nasty man

Forevertired19 Sat 17-Mar-18 14:50:33

What he said about ds was horrible! Babies mature at their own pace.

Shame your dh hasn't had the chance to mature.

Sunnyjac Sat 17-Mar-18 14:50:50

He does realise that the size of the man plays no part in the size of the baby? Sounds like he’s being an arse

Thefutureisbright2017 Sat 17-Mar-18 14:51:02

I'd have myself a nice big roast beef dinner tomorrow too and feed your babe on some fish and chicken when you start weaning too.grin How dare he dictate what you can and can't eat! calling a 4 month old a wimp and stupid is ringing huge alarm bells with me.... not 'Mummy mode' at all.

Smeaton Sat 17-Mar-18 14:51:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DancerPrancers Sat 17-Mar-18 14:52:14

AJP Yes it's completely out of character!

No idea why he's being so nasty

I get he's annoyed with me and really I should have been truthful from last week but even so, this isn't about us

He's made nasty comments about our baby and I'm very hurt.

I texted him just now to say as much and he said "it was a stupid comment. I take it back. Obviously I don't think he's stupid"

BettyBaggins Sat 17-Mar-18 14:56:43

Is it possible that he has got in his head that the baby isnt his because its not big like him? He is bullying a 4 month old. Protect your dinky one. I feel really uncomfy about this. Making baby cry on purpose in front of you? What would he do when you werent there?

Sorry but am alarmed too! flowers

supersop60 Sat 17-Mar-18 14:57:45

Does he really believe that a baby can control it's own growth?
Sorry OP he sounds like a nutter. Be wary.

DancerPrancers Sat 17-Mar-18 15:02:14

He definitely doesn't genuinely believe that a baby can control its own growth, that was more of a chance to take a dig at me and my 'crap quality breastmilk'

I know he didn't make him cry on purpose but I'm still saddened that he didn't stop when he cried

Smeaton Sat 17-Mar-18 15:07:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fekko Sat 17-Mar-18 15:09:04

Does he expect the baby to be veggie too?

Collywobbles1984 Sat 17-Mar-18 15:09:08

Tell him your crap quality Brest milk would be all the better if you were allowed to eat meat if you so choose!wink

WhyBeDennyDifferent Sat 17-Mar-18 15:12:46

What a weirdo! Him, not you.
Why did you have to agree to go veggie? It’s something you decide for yourself.

Motherofstudent Sat 17-Mar-18 15:13:39

I do think this sounds very very strange OP. He seems really weird to me and I would not be comfortable with this at all. It's ringing all kinds of alarm bells although I'd have difficulty in articulating the reasons for it.

He's being extremely nasty to a defenceless baby...
If it's misplaced anger because you ate chicken the 'punishment' is out of all proportion to the 'crime'.

It's wrong on all kinds of levels.

AnyFucker Sat 17-Mar-18 15:14:24

Your 1st mistake ( after agreeing to marry this nob) was to decide you would try and please him by becoming vegetarian

Do you always pander to him like this ?

TERFragetteCity Sat 17-Mar-18 15:20:27

i am a vegetarian but in your shoes id tell him to fuck off and order a chicken curry in for tonight.

RavenLG Sat 17-Mar-18 15:24:16

I'd lock the door and not let him back in the house if he spoke to my child in that manner. Hisd behaviour is out of order and tantamount to bullying his own child. I'd be very wary about this behaviour.

stitchglitched Sat 17-Mar-18 15:26:55

He sounds like an absolute prick to be honest. You need to nip this in the bud now and tell him that as a grown adult you can eat whatever the hell you like and he is not to comment on it ever again or ever take his bad moods out on your child or he'll be out the door. Though I sadly suspect his behaviour will be an ongoing battle and will ramp up once weaning starts too.

KatnissK Sat 17-Mar-18 15:28:35

If my DH spoke to DS like that and criticised my breastmilk, I'd be livid. Not on. I would expect a proper apology (not just a text) and I would also tell him that from now on you are not a vegetarian, you will eat whatever you please and if he doesn't like it he can get to fuck. It's worrying he wants to 'punish' your DS for what he perceives as your 'bad' behaviour. I would keep a careful eye on that as it's ringing alarm bells for me.

TheSecretMole Sat 17-Mar-18 15:29:05

So did he ask you to be a vegetarian and you agreed? Did you want to be, or did you feel pressured into it?

fairylightsdown Sat 17-Mar-18 15:33:05

Red flags all over this. Controlling, sulking, verbally abusive to a 4 month old (wtf?!). Be wary if you stay with him. He's showing you his true passive aggressive colours

AJPTaylor Sat 17-Mar-18 15:33:10

its time for a proper conversation if this is genuinely out of character

you respect his thoughts re vegetarianism but will eat what you want outside if the home

you wont tolerate him acting towards the baby in that way. it has concerned you and shown a side of him you dont like.

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