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Partner just battered me in front of our 3 yr old

(60 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

Dolphin321 Wed 14-Mar-18 01:28:27

Dont know why im writing this as i already know answer but i am often
and keep taking this joke back
Tonight i had a go at my partner because he doesnt kiss me. I confronted him about his lack of love for me . Of course im.an idiot because hes hit me plenty times before.
As i was talking to him he was getting more and more annoyed and kept throwing my daughters toys at me. Quite hard. It was for a reaction and it worked. I chucked a plastic toy at him which bounced off him and just touched my daughters foot. I know i shouldnt have reacted but he was goading me and it worked
He then flew accross the room and held me up against the wall slapping me hard accross the head and face whilst shouting at me..i tried to fight him off me so he battered me around the head some more then held me down on my daughter's bed bruising my arms then held his hand over my mouth to point i couldnt breathe. Then he let go and kicked me in my leg. My poor child was screaming crying and trying to pull him off me. He then said it was my fault and went in.the kitchen to eat strawberries in an apparent attempt to normalise the situation and so he wouldnt have to leave as i was repeatedly asking for my house keys back
Hes done this b4 and says its my fault as i nag and go on
.i do go on and on when im.upset so in the past ive felt as if i deserve it somehow. I had implants due to a breast deformity and he constantly calls me fake during arguments and calls my mother names. We was together 8 years when i had his child he left me 4 another woman 3 months later..she dumped him and done him for harassment 4 constantly messaging her asking her back and like a dumb fool i took him back after she took him.to court. Hes now on probation doing a DV course called building better relationships. Which clearly hasnt helped. What response am.i expecting? I don't know. Most times he can be very charming and help with money and around the house, planning holiday with me and our daughter and being funny. Not romantic though and its ok. But he intermittently does this. Ive thrown him out but am reluctant to call police as social services get involved. He is gonna come back tonight most likely saying he is truly sorry and hes under stress ect and he is freezing cold sleeping in his car and shivering which is why i let him back.in last time as didnt want him telling his friends ive made him.sleep in his car when they dont knoe whats happened. .im at a loss as to how dumb i am

TolchockLovelyInTheLitso Wed 14-Mar-18 01:32:10

It's not ok, Dolphin. Please call the police.

MsMims Wed 14-Mar-18 01:32:26

Who cares what his friends think? Please don’t let him back in. He could so easily kill you next time. Do you need medical treatment?

PrizeOik Wed 14-Mar-18 01:33:08

Op you need to call the police. Please.

You can't carry on like this. Your DD will be taken off you if you don't get shut of him and report him.

Your DD could have been killed. You could have been killed. PLEASE phone the police instead of letting him back in... SS may get involved but it's only to support you so that you can keep your DD safe. She's in such terrible danger as long as this man is around.

Please OP. Think of your DD. You need support and to get away from him. Otherwise DD will end up just like you. Please phone police. I beg you for the sake of your poor little daughter x

NextIndia Wed 14-Mar-18 01:34:19

What are you waiting for? For him to kill you in front of your DD? She deserves better than this. If you can't leave him for a better life for yourself, do it for her. Please OP, contact Women's Aid. THEY WILL HELP YOU.

TanteRose Wed 14-Mar-18 01:35:09

call the police.
Now.

newyearoldme Wed 14-Mar-18 01:35:31

You know what you need to do. Call the police and get rid of this revolting fuck. Should be pretty easy if he's on probation for DV related matters.

Are you really saying that after your child witnessed all that you really don't know what you should do?

You need to protect your child and protect yourself. If that means social services are involved then so be it. Please get help and save your child from seeing this stuff ever again.

TanteRose Wed 14-Mar-18 01:36:33

he could end up killing you (even unintentionally) if you don't get some outside intervention.

Penguinsandpandas Wed 14-Mar-18 01:43:06

Its very important you call the police on 999 and get help. You need also to photograph any injuries but get safe first. Please also call Women's Aid. So sorry.

MonkeysMummy17 Wed 14-Mar-18 01:52:57

If you can't do this for you, please do it for your daughter. You need to call the police and get this vile excuse for a man out of your lives once and for all.

Assuming he doesn't kill you when it happens again, your daughter is going to grow up thinking this is how men treat women - this is the behaviour she will expect to receive when she had her own relationships and she will follow the same path.

Please, please call the police, let them help you and please don't let this vile person back into your life. His sleeping arrangements are not your concern, don't let him have this power over you and your daughter. What she has witnessed already is awful, you both deserve so much better

ThumbWitchesAbroad Wed 14-Mar-18 01:57:02

Call the Police NOW.
Your DD should never have to witness stuff like that.
Call them, and get him removed.
Then FGS get him out permanently - because if this carries on he could start on your DD too. Even if he doesn't, the emotional scarring that she will carry from seeing her mother being beaten like that will damage her forever.

Get the police, get him out, KEEP him out.

Dolphin321 Wed 14-Mar-18 02:03:31

I am going to call police . Thank you 4 replies shocked me into wat i need to do. Crying as i write this as am terrified of social services even though ive kicked him out and i have his keys . Hes gonna want to get his clothes ect? Im ok my leg has a large lump in it my nail has been torn off as had acrylics on and im pretty bruised but should be ok

Italiangreyhound Wed 14-Mar-18 02:03:56

Who is going to look after your child if he kills you?

Please do EVERYTHING to get this man away from you and away from your child.

People do have their children taken away, yes, but that is because they allow them to live in dangerous homes with dangerous people. Please do not allow yourself or your dd to be subject to this.

PrizeOik Wed 14-Mar-18 02:07:12

Sweetheart, do not think of his clothes. Police can help sort that. There is literally ZERO reason good enough to let him back in the house. I'm so massively relieved that you have his keys. You've done so well.

DONT let him back in. Please just don't. It will be a huge mistake if you do. The police can ensure he gets his stuff - and he does not need to get it tonight. There is no reason for him to get it. He will tell you otherwise but please for the love of God don't listen to him.

You've been incredibly brave, now for DDs sake keep going and get on the phone to police. Don't let this go, don't back down, do it for dd

Penguinsandpandas Wed 14-Mar-18 02:12:43

Call 999 and get the police round now. Do not let him in the house for anything.

Keep a record of everything and bruising proof etc. Women's Aid will be able to get you to a refuge or give advice on a solicitor to get him out of your house if you own it. SS will get involved but if you make it clear you are kicking him out permanently they will support you. The issue with SS comes when women won't leave and that's when they consider removing a child. Family Rights Group can advise about SS. My daughter's friends mother had them in and it is an incredibly stressful time but you need to get you and your child safe. If you don't call someone else may well report and that won't look good. Please be brave and phone now.

plominoagain Wed 14-Mar-18 02:14:15

Screw his clothes . He wasn’t thinking of them when he was beating seven bells out of you , was he ? Do not , under ANY circumstances , let him back in . Yes , social services might get involved , but the only people who lose their children over domestic violence , are the ones who try and bury it , hide it under the carpet , and deny it happens , and leave their children living with it . You don’t have to . Social services are not just some sort of bogey monster to live in fear of . If you lean on them properly , and use them for support , then they cannot accuse you of minimising the violence , and not being proactive in trying to stop it . They can , and will help you .

Police can standby while he gets his clothes , or better still , get him arrested . Well done for making the call .

WombOfOnesOwn Wed 14-Mar-18 02:46:29

I tell people this every time I see this level of DV in a post.

My best friend from when I was a little girl was murdered in front of her five-year-old son by a man who'd shown this kind of behavior. It took her some time to die, too, so her little boy watched as his mother bled to death on the front steps while the ambulance was still on its way.

Nothing is more important than protecting you and your child from my friend's fate. If sharing this story (over and over) can prevent even one of these homicides, I feel a little like her tragic, senseless death won't have been completely in vain.

PyongyangKipperbang Wed 14-Mar-18 02:47:16

RE his clothes, when this happened to me the police escorted him back and asked me to get together his stuff that he needed asap (work clothes, ID etc) and said that they would liase with me to sort out him picking up the rest of his stuff. He stayed in the police car the whole time and checked with me first by phone that it was ok for this to happen. By this point he had obviously been bailed to stay away from me until the court hearing.

PyongyangKipperbang Wed 14-Mar-18 02:51:11

womb that is awful, I am so sorry for you and her son....oh that poor boy sad

It would be good if you could write her story and then we could push MN to put it at the top of the board, and OP's like this one could be directed to it. What do you think?

beckieperk Wed 14-Mar-18 03:19:12

Did you call the police? You need to keep you and dd safe. How are you?

Angelf1sh Wed 14-Mar-18 03:25:27

DO NOT LET HIM BACK IN who gives a shit what his shitty friends think? Have you called the police yet? You need protection from this excuse for a man.

NeverTell9871 Wed 14-Mar-18 03:25:28

How awful! I truly do hope you're ok OP! You made the right decision calling the police. Try not to worry about social services. And most definitely do not be worrying about him!! We're all here for you thanks

ChickenMom Wed 14-Mar-18 03:32:43

OP do not let him back in. Yours and your child’s lives are in danger. It is not ok that he did this. You are terrified of SS but worried what his friends think of him sleeping in his car?!? Stop worrying what his friends think!! Start worrying about your child’s welfare. She was screaming and trying to pull him off you. That’s not ok. Please please get help. Call the police and get an injunction out on him. Don’t ever let him near either of you again

Pickapart Wed 14-Mar-18 03:33:48

Please call the police now. He is a dangerous and violent man and he will get worse, there's nothing surer. The next time he may injure you very badly, maybe even kill you. And next time what if he turns on your little girl when she's trying to pull him off? What if he injures or kills her? If you can't do it for yourself do it for her. Be strong.

MrsWhirly Wed 14-Mar-18 03:45:39

You must report him to the police for assaulting you - you must. You have to split up with him and never see him again.

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