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Should the mother pay 50/50 towards bills when on maternity leave?

(136 Posts)
Rachelone Mon 12-Mar-18 06:59:23

I have discussed this with my partner and he would like me to continue to contribute half towards the mortgage and bills while on maternity leave. To do so I will need to use a redundancy pay out that I was given during the first stages of pregnancy. He earns a very high wage.

Aldilogue Wed 14-Mar-18 23:13:46

OP. just so know, your post was just on a morning talk show in Australia!! They showed your post and the panel discussed it.

windchimesabotage Wed 14-Mar-18 23:20:16

No not in your case! I would be highly dubious about a man who earnt far more than me yet expected me to contribute equally whilst I was on reduced pay due to maternity leave. It would not bode well for how supportive he was going to turn out to be in the long run. As a team you may need one or the other to step up sometimes in a way that is not exactly equal but is fair. You are carrying his child, taking that risk on your own body for both of you. If he is earning far more than you he ought to be at the very least contributing slightly more when you are unable to work due to having his child.

Maybe he would understand if someone mentioned to him that if you left him youd probably stand to get more financial support forced out of him. Also if he had to pay someone other than you to care for the baby he would be paying more than hes actually contributing for you now. That isnt right is it? That you suffer financially because you love and are in a relationship with him. He shouldnt be skanking you to make a profit which is essentially what he is doing by not covering the shortfall from your maternity pay.

Viviennemary Wed 14-Mar-18 23:22:52

What a waste of time having a child with somebody like this. It's totally pointless. IMHO.

InionEile Wed 14-Mar-18 23:24:05

Add up whatever your 50% of the six months(?) maternity leave costs would be and then tell him that that is the fee for nine months' rent on your uterus. Bill him with interest.


Meau Thu 09-Aug-18 22:12:39

I moved into my partner’s house the month before I had our son. My partner pays the mortgage and bills, whilst I do all chores/cooking/shopping for the house and everything for our son. I have offered on numerous occasions to pay half of bills and he doesn’t want me to. However, he frequently reminds me that this is his house and I’m lucky to not have bills to pay. In the past, he has laughed at how little I had saved or how little I earn. I know I have been fortunate to not pay bills but I spend a lot of time and money on the house and shopping. I go back to work in sept after a year off, so I’ve been on maternity pay. I’ve also worked evenings from home since the beginning of June. Now, he has transferred all money I had saved from the joint account back to me, and we are going to have a formal arrangement of what we each pay for bills (minus mortgage), things for our son and food shopping.
I’d really like your opinions on this, please.🤷🏼‍♀️

Birdinthetree Thu 09-Aug-18 23:54:35

Maybe he is just hard of thinking but I'd seriously consider leaving him if he doesn't buck up his ideas - are you supposed to bear all the childcare costs

Cawfee Fri 10-Aug-18 04:14:30

This is an old thread Meau. Start up a new one and you might get more response

Meau Fri 10-Aug-18 06:36:04

Thank you. I have just started a new one.

user1499173618 Fri 10-Aug-18 06:44:05

So he expects you, the mother, to take the full hit for having your joint baby?!

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 Fri 10-Aug-18 07:10:26

My money with H has always been shared so there is no 50:50 split. Very mean of your partner to insist on this

Flightbite Fri 10-Aug-18 08:54:39

@InionEile that's genius!

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