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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Caught wanking over FB photos

95 replies

NutCase82 · 25/02/2018 10:00

My friend has text me this morning outraged that she caught her BF and father of her child having a wank while looking at photos of a women on FB. She grabbed his phone and seen (by pressing back button) that he had been going from woman to woman and eventually taking her to the search bit where numerous women's names appeared.

This guy is not a nice guy anyway and she puts up with a lot of shit from him.

AIBU to think though, don't all men do this?

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demirose87 · 25/02/2018 10:01

No they don't.

Bluntness100 · 25/02/2018 10:05

Eh. No I don't think all blokes do this. No. Why would you possibly think they do?

windchimesabotage · 25/02/2018 10:06

Many men might wank..... but in general to pictures of women who have made those pictures in the knowledge that they will be wanked over.

Very different from wanking over pictures of people you may know who are oblivious to it. Thats not okay in my opinion. Shows complete lack of respect for womens wishes and autonomy.

You say hes generally a shitty person so this only adds fuel to that really.

'All' men may wank or at least the majority, but they dont 'all' do it in a rapey invasive way like this man is doing.

Bluntness100 · 25/02/2018 10:08

Well of course most men masturbate. As do most women. I don't think that was the question. The question was do they masturbate over women's pics on face book, and the answer to that would be no.

newdaylight · 25/02/2018 10:09

Hell no

Sullabylullaby · 25/02/2018 10:10

What sort of creep wanks over FB pics?

windchimesabotage · 25/02/2018 10:12

bluntness my post was in reply to the OP not to you! I agree with you!! Its not normal to wank to random pics on facebook.
Its a very different thing to wanking in general or even over actual pornography. It implies he thinks all women are there for his sexual kicks all the time regardless of their intention. Which is pretty disgusting.

MrsElvis · 25/02/2018 10:15

There's so much free porn out there with far more explicit pics... so it's fucking weird he would choose Facebook photos of presumably women in his network. Not normal NO

NutCase82 · 25/02/2018 10:20

Ok so if this was you in this situation WWYD?

She obviously confronted him and he turned it around saying that SHE had the cheek to accuse him (she actually caught him so no accusations required) when it's HER that's been cheating on him (totally untrue, not only does she not have the time or energy with a small baby, she just isn't cheating and never has cheated on him!).

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Munchyseeds · 25/02/2018 10:23

No they dont, he sounds delightful and SUCH a catch....I couldnt stay with someone like this

aftertheevent · 25/02/2018 10:25

He's obviously nuts and an abusive gaslighter. She needs to think about leaving him. Bet there's more going on.

Idontdowindows · 25/02/2018 10:34

She needs to get the fuck out.

category12 · 25/02/2018 10:35

Over FB photos? Jeez.

fantasmasgoria1 · 25/02/2018 10:37

No all men do not do this! My oh doesn’t wank either! Unless he does it at work lol even when single he wasn’t a prolific wanker! It sounds like he is a twat regardless so she should probably ltb!

MistressDeeCee · 25/02/2018 10:40

I've never seen anything remotely near a wankable photo on FB. I've not lived, obviously. No, not all men trawl through FB seeking out photos of women to flog their log over. He's an odious creep, that's all.

windchimesabotage · 25/02/2018 10:40

Id leave as quickly as possible because hes abusive. Accusing someone of cheating to deflect from whatever you have done and to make them doubt themselves and feel guilty, is massively manipulative and controlling.
Id get as far away from this man as possible.

Thymeout · 25/02/2018 11:03

How on earth are pps so sure they know what men wank over or even that their man doesn't wank at all? Doesn't he use the bathroom or the shower? How do you know what he does there? I'm sure he wouldn't come out and tell you. It's private.

I don't know either, but I'm sure there's been research on it. Most men wank whether they're in a relationship or not. And why not over women they actually know and might have a bit of a fantasy about? It doesn't mean they're going to make a pass at them. Or that they find them more attractive than you.

It's creepy to think they might be doing it over a photo of you, but they could be doing it over anyone who's caught their eye at the school gate. That's just life. Disrespectful not to bother to make sure it's private, sure, like picking his nose or farting, but it sounds as if there's a lot more wrong with this bloke than what his gf has just found out about him.

TheNaze73 · 25/02/2018 11:06

Well said Thymeout

Cleavergreene · 25/02/2018 11:12

Yup. Common wanking material.....gardening monthly, home and garden and indoor furniture magazines.

That’s a joke btw, so settle down you lot.

No, no man I know would come close to wanking over randoms on fb. And accusing you of cheating because he got sprung is just a piss weak excuse. He sounds like a catch.

ClaryFray · 25/02/2018 11:43

No. Creeps do that.

My DS dad had photos of me saved on his PC for that very same reason before we got together. Ewww!

italiancortado · 25/02/2018 11:55

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MistressDeeCee · 25/02/2018 12:08

The question isn't whether men wank or not tho, is it? It's whether it's normal for them to do it over FB. & No - I don't think FB as wank fodder is a norm. That's not the same as saying men don't wank...does anyone really give af if a man has a wank?

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Thymeout · 25/02/2018 12:40

But how do you know FB as wank fodder is not the norm? Have you done a survey? Would they even tell you the truth? What people choose as sexual stimulus is personal taste. I can easily believe that some men prefer pictures of real life people than some generic pin-up. Women, too.

Yes - it probably is more upsetting for their partners if they find out, which makes it more likely that it's not talked about. But all this stuff is buried deep in our lizard brains and not something we can be held responsible for, unless it progresses from fantasy to making a direct approach. I'd be more worried about just one woman than a selection.

MistressDeeCee · 25/02/2018 13:42

Whilst I can't say men don't wank over FB in no way do I believe it's a norm.

Norm is the operative term here.

For men who are into porn id say porn films, yeah. It's 2018 sexual habits are discussed to the absolute enth all over Google, if it were a thing for men then it'd be a strong mention. As it is whilst some men wank over FB or the most random things/images - No its not a norm.

You could spend all day saying yes it is no it isn't about most things couldn't you.

NutCase82 · 25/02/2018 14:29

I'm thinking the general census is it's not normal, it is creepy and she should LTB because it's quite unacceptable. Not to mention the fact he tried to turn it around on her, also a reason to LTB!

So...if she caught him looking at porn, would that be more acceptable?

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