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Relative forgot my baby’s 1st Birthday?

(208 Posts)
PasstheStarmix Sun 25-Feb-18 09:47:47

Hi, my sibling forgot my baby’s first birthday. I’m disappointed in said sibling. Said sibling has no dc and plenty of free time to be organised. Has this happened to you or anybody you know? I just seem to have a really poor family.

DextroDependant Sun 25-Feb-18 09:52:03

My brother forgot my nieces birthday this weekend. He is also childfree which is why I think it happened. He is just out of touch with these things. When I mentioned it to him he hadn't even realised her birthday was yet and actually had to ask if she was one!

Try not to take it personally, I know it's not personal with my brother.

SandyDenny Sun 25-Feb-18 09:55:42

My siblings have DC and so do I, I often forget birthdays and so do they. None of us take it personally, we've all got stuff going on.

Your baby is too young to know, it's just life, I wouldn't give it a second thought

PasstheStarmix Sun 25-Feb-18 09:56:00

Said sibling knew the birthday was coming up. What annoys me the most is she will remember her friends birthdays and her ex partners siblings birthdays (some of them are kids.)

Gah81 Sun 25-Feb-18 09:57:22

This happens in our family lots. I wouldn't take it personally - people's babies are rarely as interesting to others (including their aunts and uncles) as they are to their parents.

It may improve over time once the child can talk/has more of a personality - this is what happened in our family.

TokenGinger Sun 25-Feb-18 09:59:07

My dad and brothers forget my birthday every single year. I have to phone my dad ahead of of my brothers’ birthday every single year.

It really is not a big deal. Some people just don’t remember dates. That doesn’t mean they don’t care about your child.

PasstheStarmix Sun 25-Feb-18 09:59:29

SandyDenny When you’re busy and you have kids I can understand it abit more. My sister has no children and enough time to be organised and remembers everybody else’s. She recently bought hee ex partner’s young sister a birthday card and gift. I think if it was just any birthday it wouldn’t have been as bad but it’s the fact it’s the 1st one. It shouldn’t come as a surprise really as my family haven’t been great the whole year.

Justanotherzombie Sun 25-Feb-18 09:59:32

I love my sister and am so happy to have my niece. I even have my own children. But I honestly have to think a minute what date my own kinds were born on let alone my niece! I'm terrified I'll forget the timing some year.

Does your sibling love and care for you and your child? That's he important thing.

PasstheStarmix Sun 25-Feb-18 09:59:44


PasstheStarmix Sun 25-Feb-18 10:00:50

Token I wouldn’t be arsed if it was my birthday people has forgotten

PasstheStarmix Sun 25-Feb-18 10:00:57


PasstheStarmix Sun 25-Feb-18 10:02:23

Justanotherzombie she has no dc and has only 1 nephew (my ds.)

user1493413286 Sun 25-Feb-18 10:02:24

I’d be upset if my sister forgot, especially a first birthday as Id like to think my DDs birthday is important to my sister

Gah81 Sun 25-Feb-18 10:04:10

I am sorry you are upset, especially if your family have not been great generally. But I have some sympathy with remembering friends' birthdays over a niece or nephew's: you share good and bad times with your friends, they have personalities, there is give and take and there are shared memories.

Again, one's own baby is important to oneself, but it is often just this cute (and faintly forgettable being) to lots of other people.

PasstheStarmix Sun 25-Feb-18 10:04:12

user1493413286 Exactly. That’s how I feel, I would have liked to have thought my ds’s firsts were important to me sister. I’d had have been her child I would have been so excited for all of the milestones.

PasstheStarmix Sun 25-Feb-18 10:04:49

If it has been*

BelindasRedPlasticHandcuffs Sun 25-Feb-18 10:05:48

It's the first birthday...quite likely she remembers the other birthdays because they come around every year and they've. Even drummed in by repetition. This is literally the first time she's had to remember it.

It's a bit of a shame, but it's hardly a massive deal.

PurplePotatoes Sun 25-Feb-18 10:07:14

Wait until its your second child, we didn't even get a card when he was born from half the family!

Bluedoglead Sun 25-Feb-18 10:08:09

in The nicest possible way. It’s a big deal for you. It’s not for anyone else.

Also, if she’s child free she won’t understand why it’s a big deal to you.

sirlee66 Sun 25-Feb-18 10:09:03

Being child free or not doesn't make a difference in remembering important dates or being organised.

Most people have calendars on their phone that can remind them in time to post a card. Adding a reminder takes less time than sending a text message. So having children isn't an excuse to 'forget'.

Or... buy them a calendar to put up in the kitchen and write important dates on there. Mind you, if they're already lazy, they'll probably forget to look / change the month anyway.

Some people are naturally disorganized.

Maryann1975 Sun 25-Feb-18 10:09:26

Bil (so husbands brother) has never even acknowledged dc3arrival, no congratulations you’ve had a dd, no christening, Christmas or birthday presents, he didn’t even write her name on the Christmas card he sent the first year she was born, although he has done in subsequent years. He stopped sending Christmas presents to the other 2dc the year she was born, despite us having the same number of kids each (so not that he thought we were taking the piss by having too many dc). We’ve provided the (often expensive) gifts that have been asked for year after year for his dc.
I’ve distanced myself from him recently, it’s all about him and his and I can’t be doing with it. How do you forget you have a niece at Christmas?

PasstheStarmix Sun 25-Feb-18 10:09:40

Belinda I see your point but when it was his partners (now ex) young sister’s first birthday since he’s known her he didn’t forget.

allthegoodusernameshavegone Sun 25-Feb-18 10:10:36

it’s not a big deal is it? I must be a bad aunt

Joysmum Sun 25-Feb-18 10:10:56

I forget my own birthday! It’s not just remembering the date but often not realising what date it is today.

In my family we realise we are all human with busy and distracting lives so we make sure we remind people and also tend to raise and discuss ideas to celebrate in good time which also helps.

For my DD’s first birthday, I’d discussed with my family in advance how we’d celebrate because it gave others a chance to get involved and give input.

PasstheStarmix Sun 25-Feb-18 10:13:00

Maryann1975 Dh’s brother hasn’t bothered to even see his nephew once (not even when he was first born.) I can completely relate, my sibling conveniently fogets and I’m getting abit sick of her selfish ways and me me me attitude.

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