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Would you be annoyed by this?

(16 Posts)
downbutnotout2018 Sat 24-Feb-18 20:15:09

Two days ago I left 'dp' after many months of planning with my 2 dcs. Hr has been verbally and emotionally abusive. We are at my parents and leave for our new accommodation tomorrow.

I (serendipitously) lost my old phone, so my father has kindly lent me one of his with a different number. However whilst I was out at the shops with my dcs (having a great time) my father sent a text to my ex-dp telling him my new number, and that this was a temporary loan.

AIBU to be really annoyed about this? Surely this is crossing a boundary. If anyone should be letting him know how to contact him, it should be me.... mega annoyed.

KinkyAfro Sat 24-Feb-18 20:18:20

Hell yeah I'd be annoyed, very, what made him do that?

downbutnotout2018 Sat 24-Feb-18 20:20:26

perhaps he was thinking of contact with the kids, but its up to me to arrange that. I feel he's massively overstepped the boundary and am really angry... all my mum can say is 'well he's spent ages reconditioning that phone for you'.... as if that makes it ok then angry

Aprilshowerswontbelong Sat 24-Feb-18 20:20:42

Has your df reason to think you would go back to dp? Does he know the facts surrounding your relationship? If not tell him the truth and say you need his support and loyalty right now.

ScabbyHorse Sat 24-Feb-18 20:21:40

I think it is crucial you explain why you're angry to your dad. How dare he?

Scullerymaid Sat 24-Feb-18 20:21:57

Yes I would be very annoyed about it - why would he do that?
The floor shifts under your feet when this kind of family betrayal plays out.

downbutnotout2018 Sat 24-Feb-18 20:22:22

would rather not discuss the full, gory details with df....

mineofuselessinformation Sat 24-Feb-18 20:23:19

Can you block the number if you need to?
It's annoying your ex has your number, but you don't have to answer the phone to him if you don't want to.

downbutnotout2018 Sat 24-Feb-18 20:25:50

I don't actually mind talking to the ex about child or house related issues, but wanted it to be on my terms. There was no need for him to take matters into his own hands.... No wonder I have boundary issues....

ObscuredbyFog Sat 24-Feb-18 20:31:00

Buy a cheap PAYG and give DF the other phone to keep for himself.
As well as letting him know he's been a complete plank.

BlessYourCottonSocks Sat 24-Feb-18 22:14:29

I would put a new SIM in it and explain to DF that I would choose how and when I contacted ex. Can you say to him, 'I cannot face telling you everything I have been through. I don't want you to know. But I need you to take my side unconditionally - not be having contact with Ex behind my back or I do not feel safe with you.

SandyY2K Sat 24-Feb-18 22:39:43

YOU can buy a sim for 99p. Put that in the phone.

SandyY2K Sat 24-Feb-18 22:40:19

...and I understand why you're annoyed. Your dad had no business doing that.

MsGameandWatching Sat 24-Feb-18 22:42:01

Has he explained his reasoning? I'd be livid. I'd like to hear what his thought processes were though.

gamerchick Sat 24-Feb-18 22:46:42

Change the sim or get a cheapy phone to tide you over. Tell your dad that under no circumstances is he to give this number out and if he does then he won’t be getting the new number.

If you can’t share the details with your dad then could you with your mum and ask her to help you hunker down?

Dissimilitude Sat 24-Feb-18 23:02:52

Does your father know the details of the split? If not, he might not have inferred the problem here. I can’t quite understand why he’d have done this unless he had limited knowledge of the details of your relationship, and simply thinks he’s being helpful on a practical level.

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