Two days ago I left 'dp' after many months of planning with my 2 dcs. Hr has been verbally and emotionally abusive. We are at my parents and leave for our new accommodation tomorrow.
I (serendipitously) lost my old phone, so my father has kindly lent me one of his with a different number. However whilst I was out at the shops with my dcs (having a great time) my father sent a text to my ex-dp telling him my new number, and that this was a temporary loan.
AIBU to be really annoyed about this? Surely this is crossing a boundary. If anyone should be letting him know how to contact him, it should be me.... mega annoyed.
perhaps he was thinking of contact with the kids, but its up to me to arrange that. I feel he's massively overstepped the boundary and am really angry... all my mum can say is 'well he's spent ages reconditioning that phone for you'.... as if that makes it ok then
I don't actually mind talking to the ex about child or house related issues, but wanted it to be on my terms. There was no need for him to take matters into his own hands.... No wonder I have boundary issues....
I would put a new SIM in it and explain to DF that I would choose how and when I contacted ex. Can you say to him, 'I cannot face telling you everything I have been through. I don't want you to know. But I need you to take my side unconditionally - not be having contact with Ex behind my back or I do not feel safe with you.
Does your father know the details of the split? If not, he might not have inferred the problem here. I can’t quite understand why he’d have done this unless he had limited knowledge of the details of your relationship, and simply thinks he’s being helpful on a practical level.