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Partners twitter

(244 Posts)
TheRoadToEverywhere Thu 22-Feb-18 17:39:57

Fairly new-ish relationship, around 4 months. It's got quite intense, quite quickly and is going well.
Just had a random glance through his Twitter (out of boredom, nothing stalky) and have discovered he follows a large number of porn stars, glamour models, girls/women who have accounts to basically pose with nothing on.

It has really, really bothered me. I know he is entitled to follow whoever he wants to but its left me feeling absolutely shit. I didn't think he was this type of man.
I look absolutely nothing like the women in these profiles, and now feel horribly inadequate.
For some reason it feels different to me to porn, as that's an outlet and and means to an end.

Is this my problem? Do I need to get over it?
I have crap self esteem anyway, this really isn't helping.

Joinourclub Thu 22-Feb-18 17:47:05

You don't have 'to get over it'. You're finding out a bit more about who he is, and you don't like it. What would you have done if you'd have seen this in week 1 or 2?

TheRoadToEverywhere Thu 22-Feb-18 17:51:35

I honestly don't know.
I just wanted opinions really on whether I'm being overly sensitive or not. I'm not great at trusting my own judgement blush

I just know I feel awful now, the thought of him scrolling through Twitter several times a day with all these posts of women with perfect bodies and faces that are obviously his type has made me feel dreadful

pog100 Thu 22-Feb-18 18:01:22

your emotions are yours and can't be wrong or right. If it makes you feel shit, it does and probably best to end it. However, I would say that you are almost certainly wrong that he's comparing you to the girls he follows. Men are good at compartmentalising that stuff and I think he probably genuinely likes and fancies you.

timeisnotaline Thu 22-Feb-18 18:01:36

I wouldn’t feel inadequate, but i would judge him and think we probably don’t have enough in common to justify a relationship.

yetmorecrap Thu 22-Feb-18 18:05:15

Yuk. In my opinion twitter is mainly about 'words' and god knows why you would follow these women on twitter if you had a brain

TheRoadToEverywhere Thu 22-Feb-18 18:07:11

Oh god. I'd started to fall in love with him. We'd made plans. What the fuck am I supposed to do now?

LexieLulu Thu 22-Feb-18 18:07:12

Does he ever tweet any of them?

Could you bring it up "I was on Twitter today and seen you tweeting Tits McGee?"

TheRoadToEverywhere Thu 22-Feb-18 18:08:46

Not as far as I know. There's nothing actually on his feed with these women, no communication as such

TheRoadToEverywhere Thu 22-Feb-18 18:10:28

I have messaged him and basically said I wouldn't have got involved with him if I'd known he was the type of person to follow trashy stuff like this.
His response was that he 'used to be trashy'

MyRelationshipIsWeird Thu 22-Feb-18 18:11:50

I wouldn’t feel inadequate, but i would judge him and think we probably don’t have enough in common to justify a relationship.

This ^

I would think that as he was quite shallow and also not afraid to splash his sexual fantasies around the place that he wouldn’t be a good fit for me.

I may make the odd comment on Facebook about Idris Elba or something but I don’t share photos of half naked firemen with kittens or follow male models or strippers, so a man who did would be odd for me. I’d like someone who used Twitter for fun, enlightenment and entertainment, not for fluffing himself for the world to see.

AthenasOwl Thu 22-Feb-18 18:11:54

I had Twitter a number of years back and these porn bots would turn up on my contact or follow list I don't know what it's called..if I left it and didn't delete them they'd just collect on there, I deleted it so I don't know if that still happens ..is he an avid twitter user?
For what it's worth it would bother me too.

TheRoadToEverywhere Thu 22-Feb-18 18:18:01

I think this is what's bothering me as well. It's just so blatant, does he not care that people can see that he's following stuff like this??
The majority of his posts are surrounding politics and social issues, so I'm confused as to why there's so many of these types of women he's following

jelliebelly Thu 22-Feb-18 18:19:27

Talk to him about it - he’s following them on Twitter not sleeping with them!

Flimp Thu 22-Feb-18 18:25:05

I think you've found out you have fundamentally different values. It's unfortunate, but that's how it is. You're not as compatible as you thought you might be.

MyBrilliantDisguise Thu 22-Feb-18 18:26:49

In my opinion someone who used to be trashy continues to be trashy wherever they can.

TheRoadToEverywhere Thu 22-Feb-18 18:28:42

Fucking hell. Part of me was hoping I'd be told I'm being really silly.
We've just booked a holiday. What a mess.

StringOfGoldStars Thu 22-Feb-18 18:36:42

I would end it.

But then I have a zero tolerance on being with anyone who makes me feel bad about myself.

TheRoadToEverywhere Thu 22-Feb-18 18:45:53

Would it matter if he said he's not like that anymore?
I can't think straight

Thistlebelle Thu 22-Feb-18 18:49:03

I wouldn’t feel inadequate but I’d think that he was.

If this is just a hangover from his younger days then when hasn’t he deleted?

StarlightSparkle Thu 22-Feb-18 18:49:13

I wouldn’t be impressed. I might be able to cope with someone following one or two ‘hot’ women they particularly fancied but not loads of them. I don’t like the idea of someone following women simply to see gratuitous snapshots/ selfies, etc, which is presumably what he’s doing. It would make me reconsider the relationship I think.

foodiefil Thu 22-Feb-18 18:51:03

I'd be upset too. Don't know what to suggest. Depends how strong your feelings are but I'd definitely see him differently

Ploppymoodypants Thu 22-Feb-18 18:52:09

Maybe use this as an opportunity to find out a bit more about him and his options on women and equality etc. For example have you ever discussed what happens when he is out with his friends? Would he visit a strip club on a stag do? On a business trip? As part of a normal night out. Would he have a private dance. Would this bother you?
Have you discussed what constitutes cheating to you both etc. Then you can make a more informed decision. The twitter thing might be a stand alone thing that’s not a big deal, or it might be the tip of an iceberg. Have an adult non judgemental chat.

He is free to behave how he chooses and you are free to decide whether or not you want to be in a relationship with him. His answers can help you make an informed choice.

CharisMater Thu 22-Feb-18 18:52:41

You can get turned off. You don't have to struggle through it finding your way to acceptance.

It turns you off. If women do something that turns men off, hurts them, disappoints them, humiliates them, they don't usually stick around battling through the feelings.

TheRoadToEverywhere Thu 22-Feb-18 18:53:10

I think its about 30 accounts out of over 2000 (yes, I'm sad enough to trawl through all 2000)
He did go through a particularly bad break up several years ago where he reacted quite badly and went off the rails a bit so perhaps its all from then?
I just don't know what to think

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