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Too nervous about OLD

(5 Posts)
EbonyJade Wed 21-Feb-18 21:39:21

I'm 41, I'd like a boyfriend with a view to a long term relationship.
I always wanted a partner & children but developed serious MH problems in my early 30s and although I'd still love to have a baby I accept that probably won't happen.

3 years ago I joined Tinder & met a nice man who I dated but he wasn't right for me. I then gave up dating for nearly 3 years due to weight gain, more depression etc etc.
Recently I met a man at work who liked me a lot, we dated then I discovered he's married!! So that finished.

I've lost weight, and I'm fairly well now so I've joined Tinder again; I kept it to a 50 mile radius with an age range of 30 - 49.
I will try POF too as it's free, but can't afford a paid site.
I've matched with a lot of men & received lots of messages mainly from men who are looking for a girlfriend rather than just a hook up.

The problem is that I'm so nervous my stomach is actually upset today.
I hate the whole process of messaging & going on dates.
I can fake confidence on a date luckily but just messaging the men back is stressing me out.
If I don't message back fast enough they seem to get a bit unpleasant, also some want me to chat on WhatsApp & I don't know how it works so they get arsey about that.

I've got schizo affective disorder which doesn't help my confidence as I can get paranoid really easily.

How can I become more confident at dating?? I'd still rather meet a man in RL eg at work or the gym, but it's unlikely to happen.

FabbyChix Wed 21-Feb-18 22:39:19

Sounds like you aren’t ready. I’d like to make new friends I’ve a profile on pof but I just feel anxious signing in so don’t bother

Cricrichan Thu 22-Feb-18 00:23:28

Have you tried joining local bike clubs/badminton clubs/running clubs or doing a course to get you meeting people?

EbonyJade Thu 22-Feb-18 09:09:40

I do have a good social life but haven't joined any clubs as I do shift work

forumdonkey Thu 22-Feb-18 10:24:43

Concentrate on your life and make yourself happy. Dating should be fun and treat it like a night out and meeting new people. I only used to dip in OLD when I was bored or didn't have much on. My friends were heavily involved in my dating life and there were many funny stories to share. There's nobody more surprised than me to find myself completely in love with an amazing man I met OLD. It's took us both by surprised. I can honestly say that I wasn't looking for a serious relationship but here I am.

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