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Husband left me for his social life....

(77 Posts)
SJD80 Wed 21-Feb-18 14:50:23

He'll deny it, but my hubby left me and his 5 yr old daughter 4 weeks ago for his social life. He has these single friends who i have a huge dislike for (in their 30s, live in a bedroom at parents/grandparents, out every weekend, stick powder up their noses, crap jobs) and hes started boxing... all of this started taking priority over me and the little one. When i questioned it, he left me, his excuse being he is fed up. Everyone has told him hes making the biggest mistake ever. In the mean time he got sacked from his job by his mouth running away with him. Ive also found from itemised phone bills that he is texting his single mates (one im particular) all day every day from about 6.30am. Am i right that this is strange? Hes always lied to me throughout our marriage and previous relationship and i still dont trust him. Im so stressed i have been signed off work. Despite it all, i want to make my marriage work.

Can someone please tell (convince) me im better off without him and should move on.

CircleofWillis Wed 21-Feb-18 14:53:21

Any suggestions that there is someone else on the scene? More usual to leave because there is another person when it is out of the blue like this.

CircleofWillis Wed 21-Feb-18 14:54:30

Just reread your post. Is his single friend female or gay?

MorningCuppa Wed 21-Feb-18 14:56:24

I'm sorry but any man who picked his social life over his family wouldn't be coming back to me! Who is this single Friend he has been texting all day?

Grumblepants Wed 21-Feb-18 14:57:37

Could he be having his midlife crisis or suffering from depression? I'm not making excuses for him as he's obviously being a prick. But for him to suddenly want a party lifestyle and just leave may be signs he isn't himself.

MyBrilliantDisguise Wed 21-Feb-18 14:57:49

Did you post about this a day or so ago? Guy who was fighting and went abroad with a woman from the gym?

LIZS Wed 21-Feb-18 14:57:53

Frankly he doesn't sound worth any effort. His priorities clearly lie elsewhere.

MorningCuppa Wed 21-Feb-18 14:58:02

By the way I don't mean a normal social
Life, but I'm gathering this isn't normal, from your description I'm guessing he wants to go out and "play" all weekend every weekend with his mates instead of acting like a family man with a child?

Smeaton Wed 21-Feb-18 14:59:14

I'd say good, change the locks before the loser wants to come back.
Get the solicitors to file the divorce papers before he changes his mind.

Helpimfalling Wed 21-Feb-18 14:59:49

I’m so sorry your not alone keep us updated how you feeling has he left the home

It’s horrible when you feel alone but we’re all here x

FilledSoda Wed 21-Feb-18 15:00:24

The person he is texting all day every day from 6am , that's who he is leaving his family for .
I'm so sorry op , he's being a dick.

dreamingalwaysdreaming Wed 21-Feb-18 15:03:12

people with families don't usually have a single person social life like that - you're so much better off without him, he's lost his job, he's taking drugs and partying - sounds like he's heading for some sort of breakdown, you don't want your DC witnessing that at first hand. I've yet to see drugs and partying lead to anything good happening to anyone.

I've also never seen a feckless wanker turn around and go what 'you know what, you were right, I've been a dick' and then really change without first losing a lot. He's already lost his job so help him on his way with stage 2.

SJD80 Wed 21-Feb-18 15:06:32

His friend is male... as far as i know, not gay. But then neither was Elton John. I have thought about a crisis, depression, but it just comes across to me as playing games. Wants his lads life but then makes put its me when i accuse him of that. I initially thought affair, but i really dont think so. I really will be a mug if it turns out he is.... im just lost..

StormTreader Wed 21-Feb-18 15:08:23

Your sure its his male friend, and not someone else he has saved under that name as a cover?

SJD80 Wed 21-Feb-18 15:08:26

No wasnt me. i did see this... sounded familiar.

Finola1step Wed 21-Feb-18 15:09:03

He has lied to you throughout your marriage and you want to try to save it Why?

PipGirl404 Wed 21-Feb-18 15:09:51

My ex did that too, blamed his 'mental health', said he wasn't in a position to be with anyone until he worked on his own mental health, and a month later he was with someone else. Fab!

What he actually wanted to do was go out drinking every weekend/during the week with his mates and not be at home with a 3 year old...

Luckily enough I met someone who is amazing and have since gotten over his little manchild syndrome.

SJD80 Wed 21-Feb-18 15:10:44

I also am thinking he could be covering it up. Only one way to find out i the number

dreamingalwaysdreaming Wed 21-Feb-18 15:11:16

he doesn't have to be having an affair for you to walk away from what sounds like really shit behaviour. He's certainly not putting you and your DC first, he's not taking his financial responsibilities seriously either.

You could boot him out and see if he promises to reform. I'm not sure what he IS contributing - seems like it's not his money or his time, so what are you and your DC getting from the relationship?

expatinscotland Wed 21-Feb-18 15:14:55

Nothing to save here.

Grumblepants Wed 21-Feb-18 15:16:38

And you will not look like a mug in anyway if he is having an affair. Him being a dick is nothing to do with you. It's all on him!

EffingJeffer Wed 21-Feb-18 15:18:40

Have you personally met any of these mates he hangs out with?

MorningCuppa Wed 21-Feb-18 15:20:33

I thought the same, has he saved the number under a males name on his phone as a disguise? I would call the number.

diddl Wed 21-Feb-18 15:21:15

"Despite it all, i want to make my marriage work."

Whatever the cause of his behaviour, you & your daughter deserve better.

clippityclock Wed 21-Feb-18 15:23:50

He's gay and in love with his mate.

However, why on earth would you want to stay with him?? you don't trust him and he sounds like a jerk!

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